This is probably my favorite photo of a true cowgirl. Fox Hastings is smiling at the camera while lying in the mud holding the horns of a steer she has just thrown. She is completely owning this moment.
Her family thought she was a little wild and sent her off to a boarding school when she was fourteen. By sixteen, she had run away from the school to join the Irwin Brothers Wild West Show doing trick riding events. She had an uncanny way of knowing who she was and what she was good at in life. She was enthusiastic, strong, and an expert horsewoman. She often competed with men and thrived doing so.
In 1924 in Houston, Texas, Fox made her first appearance as a bulldogger, something women had never done before. It was and is about as dangerous as it gets in rodeo—jumping off of a horse onto the back of a five-hundred-pound steer running as fast as he can, then wrestling the steer to the ground by twisting its horns. She was a huge hit. The crowds loved her. Foghorn Clancy, a flamboyant rodeo announcer, made her the most photographed and interviewed cowgirl of the late twenties. She was a superstar.
She was tough and a true professional. She once suffered a broken rib the day before a show opened, but she went ahead and bulldogged her steer for the next three days of the performance. She had a contract to fulfill and never even thought about letting management down. She took full responsibility because the show had to go on.
“If I can just get my fanny out of the saddle and my feet planted, there’s not a steer that can last against me,”5 she said. She became the inspiration to many young women who previously thought a woman’s place was strictly in the home.
Cowgirls are raised to be responsible for themselves. At an early age their parents teach them to be self-reliant and self-assured. They learn to not only take care of themselves, but they also learn the responsibility of taking care of their pets and horses. They don’t hesitate to muck a horse stall, or to exercise a horse. They learn how capable they are and approach life with a “can-do” attitude.
Connie Reeves taught generations of Texas women how to ride. She was a riding instructor at Camp Waldemar, a girls’ summer camp in the Texas Hill Country, for sixty-seven years. She helped over 30,000 girls gain confidence in their riding abilities. Connie told every one of them to “saddle your own horse.” That phrase has become legendary Texas lore. It means being able to take care of yourself and survive out on the range or in the corporate boardroom. It speaks of the need for independence, not relying on someone else to do your basic tasks. A cowgirl who saddles her own horse does not leave herself open to criticism from the hired hands. She does what needs to be done. She does it because she is self-reliant and capable. She is competent.
When a cowgirl thinks about what she wants to do with her life, she must be realistic and honest with herself about who she is. She is confident, adventurous, bold, steadfast, and dauntless. She is fearless because she knows what she is good at, and where she needs to improve. She is comfortable in her own skin because she is authentic. Because she is not self-absorbed, she is humble. She is not defensive. She can easily laugh at her shortcomings.
Her ability to stand back and look at herself objectively makes her powerful because it helps her set her course and focus on both strengths and weaknesses. Carl Jung wrote, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
The ability to see yourself from afar is profound. Cowgirls can do it because they take time to listen to themselves, but with a critical ear. They are unafraid of criticism and, in fact, welcome it. They appreciate criticism because they believe their trainer’s only goal is to help improve their skills every day. If a cowgirl is holding the reins too tight, she wants to know it so she can learn how to do it correctly.
The ability to see yourself can be challenging. I had a wonderful creative director who was extremely talented. He pursued a career with T3 and we promoted him and built teams around him. But he struggled with it. One day, he came into my office and resigned. I asked him why, and he said that he loved doing creative work, but managing people was extremely difficult for him. The stress and drama of dealing with people was not what he was good at, and he understood it. He went on to build a small, focused business that has been very successful.
Apple has learned this lesson well. They measure many of their employees based on what they produce, not how many people work for them. One engineer who is super talented at code may be more valuable than one hundred other employees. They have fine-tuned their compensation policies to deal with this important reality. Finding the right ways to help people focus on what they are really good at is something that we work on every day at T3. We try not to impose traditional organization constructs on people but instead enable them to thrive with their own unique truth. If you can see yourself objectively, you can take control of yourself and methodically build your own power.
Think about helping your kids. You have the ability to step back and take a critical view of their strengths, teaching them to build on them, get stronger in and more focused on their natural abilities. Teach them to see themselves. Teach them to be quiet and listen sometimes. Send them off to sit by themselves in a deer blind for the afternoon. As my mother always said when I was confused or in the dumps, “Gay, go have a good talk with yourself.”
Understand we can’t all be great at everything. I am a big note taker. I write lots of notes in meetings and when I hear someone give a really good speech. But I have never figured out what to do with them. They end up in piles and piles. When I get too many piles I put them in sacks. Then I put the sacks in my car, where they stay too long. And, finally, when I drag them into our ranch house, my husband howls with laughter. One of the reasons is that I do not use a computer. I used to do everything, EVERYTHING, on my BlackBerry. Now I am totally addicted to my iPad and do EVERYTHING on it. So transcribing all of those handwritten notes is just too much trouble. I type so much that I just had carpal tunnel surgery on both of my hands!
I have never been able to remember my passwords either. They are probably on one of those little notes in a sack in the closet at the ranch.
Penry Price, a Google executive, once told us he had one word to describe T3: authentic. I was amazed and humbled by his comment. There is nothing more important than being who you are and walking the walk.
Cowgirls are authentic. They don’t try to be something they are not. They know who they are and how to stand tall. They don’t pretend. Around the barn she wears rubber muck boots most of the time, riding pants, and a work shirt. She is comfortable because it is a practical outfit. When she gallops into the rodeo arena wearing her show costume, with glitter and sparkles flashing from the spotlights, and a big white hat, she is just as comfortable.
Cowgirls have a sense of where they fit into the world. They make choices about what to do based on that sense, which is based on long-standing values and ethics that are learned at an early age. Cowgirls do not conform to peer pressure. They only conform to their own gut instincts.
What if you have not had parents or role models cheering you on? What if you have not had a chance to develop cowgirl instincts and values? If you put forth the effort in the classroom or in an early job—you can develop teachers or bosses who will “pump up your tires.” This was an old saying my mom brought to Texas from Missouri, and it always rings true.
I have a longtime client who is authentically a real rascal. He has hired me five times as he went from company to company. He is a guy who takes chances. He never plays by the rules. He asks for more out of people and gets more out of you than you thought you had. He loves fast cars and racing. He is fiercely competitive and has an unyielding desire to win. That is why people hire him and why I love him. He is an authentic rascal.
Being authentic means that there are some things you have to do yourself. I have flown across the country to have a private one-on-one conversation with a client about a personnel issue that needed to be handled delicately. I was the only one who could have been as candid about an abusive person on his team who needed to go. We dealt with it over lunch and I was back home for dinner that evening. He resolved the issue the next morning, and we both gained more respect for each other.
No job is too small or too big. Recently, I found myself “shoveling” mouse poop out of some shelves at our ranch. A cowgirl doesn’t flinch; she just does what needs to be done because she is authentic.
Cowgirls learn a lot about life. They are taught about the power of dreams. Dreams give you the power to escape the restraints of reality. With dreams you are free to imagine, roam the earth, fly by the stars. Dreams are about what can be. They are powerful things.
Reality is something entirely different. Reality is understanding who and where you are. It requires you to be totally honest with yourself—to confront the good and bad head-on, with no hesitation or apology. Reality is about the simple facts. It is where you are. You have to look at yourself objectively to do this. It is almost an out-of-body experience, like looking at yourself from afar.
After my dad died and I began to understand how tenuous our financial situation was, I was forced to deal with my mom’s aspirational dreams for me and the stark reality of how few resources we really had. My mom never really dealt with it, so I had to. I had no choice; I garnered up the strength and did it. And I kept doing it and it has served me well. I have achieved so many dreams and found real financial success. But the lessons have been tough.
Cowgirls understand. They know how to make magic. They know that when you go through the mental process of combining dreams with reality, you begin to see a road map of what you need to do to achieve your dreams. Dream big, and then be realistic, tenacious, and steadfast in taking the steps to make them come true. Cowgirls are well grounded. They understand how to make dreams come true.
My dad always taught me to meet people “where they are.” What he meant is that it is an art to size people up quickly and be able to almost instinctively greet and interact with them in a way that is meaningful to them and puts them at ease.
My dad worked with some of the most powerful, richest men in the Texas oil business. He also worked with poor, uneducated day laborers who helped him pull surveying measuring lines through the steamy East Texas thickets. He was totally comfortable with people on either end of the spectrum because he respected them all. He always felt it was his responsibility to find a way to actually connect with each person he met. My dad taught me as a little girl how to relate to people. He was the master at it. He told me whether you are serving homeless people at the Salvation Army or attending a state dinner at the White House, you need to make people comfortable—to meet them where they are.
One of the characters in Liberty, Texas, was Dewitt Curtis. This was in the early 1970s when Dewitt would put on his wool World War I uniform (in the beastly East Texas summer heat) and walk to the courthouse lawn. He would climb halfway up the front steps and would pull an imaginary violin out of an imaginary case and begin to play it. He would sway with the music, closing his eyes as he heard the sounds that only he could hear.
Brad Pickett was the bank president and one of the county’s most respected attorneys. Brad was well known as a straight shooter and was brilliant in the courtroom. When court would recess for lunch, Brad would walk down the front steps and if Dewitt was playing his violin, Brad would stand beside him and pick up his own imaginary violin and begin to play with Dewitt. It was an amazing thing to see because they played together, each hearing the same music that was, or was not, there. Many afternoons Brad returned to the courtroom soaked in sweat and without any lunch. But he was universally loved and respected all over East Texas because he was willing to meet Dewitt where he was. And what beautiful music they played together!
I have had many opportunities to meet people around the world. Each time I meet someone new, I follow my dad’s lesson that it is my responsibility to actually connect. I own it. A few examples:
I spoke to college students at a university in Beijing, China, about opportunities they might have in the business world. They wanted to share their dreams with me.
I was in a Maasai village in Africa with our guides, Kuseyo and Tuleto. They took us into a mud hut to meet an old woman, the village matriarch. She told us that she had heard that in America people were taking hearts out of dead people and putting them into living people. She asked if it was true. I said yes.
I accepted an award for family-friendly policies at work from then-president of the United States Bill Clinton in the Rose Garden. When I met him I felt like he had this strange ability to see into your soul, which was actually a little disarming.
I have met with some of the most powerful men in the business world. Of course, Texans, but also many leaders of Fortune 100 companies. I am usually humble and polite, but always hold my own, and am not afraid to challenge their thinking.
Last year I was in the galley of a Navy ship talking to a seaman. He told me about how he lost his college hockey scholarship because of a sports injury and ended up in the Navy. I made him comfortable enough that he told me that when he got off work that day he was getting married, going to quit smoking, and buying a new car. I said, “Sounds like a big day!” He left with a big grin.
In Liberty, the only people who were not at the football game on Friday nights were in jail. I can’t tell you how many times I have amazed my male colleagues, clients, and friends or fellow travelers at the Admirals Club with my view about the finer points of the game. The guys are always a bit shocked at my ability to talk detailed football strategy, so it is a great way for me to connect quickly to something they genuinely care about.
Being able to quickly relate to people has helped me build solid relationships with my clients. Often we live and work halfway across the country from each other, so when we do have an opportunity to visit, I try to understand what is going on in their careers, their personal lives, and about their dreams and aspirations. If I can do that, we build a special bond. And when I’m on the phone with them months later, I make a point to remember the details they shared with me so I can ask about their daughter or their dog or that promotion. They know I am really interested in them and care about them.
Slow down, reach out, find a quick way to relate. Be authentic and you win power. If this is not intuitive for you, then simply stop talking and listen. There is nothing more tiresome than a person who waxes on and on about themselves. My mother-in-law, the quintessential cowgirl Isabel Gaddis, called them “the unimpeachable source.”
Connecting with others is a skill you should teach to your children or nieces and nephews as early in life as possible. My granddaughter is just learning to speak, but she already knows how to make a toast. When she meets someone new, she wants them to have a glass and clink it with hers and make a toast. She then claps her hands and belly laughs.
When I was visiting Botswana I asked one of the guides about his opinion of which animals were the smartest. He avoided answering for a while, but then he told me I was thinking about it in the wrong way. He said that every animal is clever in its own way. A termite is just as clever as an elephant. Each species has found a way to survive.
It is the same with people. No one has the corner on the truth. Some people have more education. Some have more real-world experience. Some come from wealthy families. Some are poor. Some are not as intelligent. Some are physically challenged, while others are gifted athletes. But by trying to meet people where they are, we show respect to the different talents each individual brings. Watch, observe, connect.
Think about it this way: Each person you meet has a piece to your life’s puzzle. When you meet people where they are and really connect, you find that next missing piece that brings you closer to assembling the puzzle of your life.
Cowgirls are raised by parents with high expectations. They know that their fathers especially expect much of them. Wise fathers understand that girls need to be tough, capable, and strong to thrive in the world, and most try to instill power in their girls. Everyone does not have a great father or role model. I understand that. I was lucky, because after my father died, Felton Dennison stepped in and was an inspiration for me. Later in my life, Boone Powell became a valuable mentor.
Researcher Susan R. Madsen of Utah Valley University did a study of women leaders in China and the United Arab Emirates about their paths to leadership. “Every single one of them talked about finding their voices and their confidence at dinner-table conversations with their families. Their parents talked about politics, about what was happening in the community, and when the women had something to say, their parents didn’t hush them,” Madsen said. “Every woman I spoke to said her father would bring home books for her to read when he traveled.”6
Some of my fondest memories were train trips I took from Houston to Saint Louis to attend baseball games, including the 1964 World Series, as a young girl. In the late 1950s and early 1960s, this was a first-class experience. Dolled up in clothes that my mother and I bought at Neiman Marcus, I was escorted to the dining car by my gregarious and witty father. He was always dressed in a stylish suit, with a silk tie and a pocket scarf. He was one sharply dressed man when he traveled.
When seated in the dining car, it was so lovely. Crisp, starched white tablecloths and napkins. Special silverware and china boasting the train’s logos. The service was impeccable, and I liked ordering things I had never tasted before, like caviar and beef Wellington. My father would order his favorite cocktails and we would have a nice conversation. Without exception, other passengers would walk by and say, “What a well-dressed and well-mannered young lady.” I would beam and my dad would invite them to have a cocktail with us, as he blew smoke rings from a nice cigar. My dad always insisted that I must act grown-up, have a mature conversation, and not act like a silly child. I still remember the stimulating conversations we had with our fellow passengers.
Two of my C200 friends are CEOs of major companies. They also happen to be sisters. Coincidence? No, because they grew up in a household, and with a father, who expected them to plan and budget their lives like a business person. I have loved getting to know Denise Morrison, CEO of Campbell Soup Company, and Maggie Wilderotter, former CEO of Frontier Communications, and to hear the stories of how they started what would be highly successful business careers when they were children.
First of all, at the beginning of each new year, Maggie and Denise were expected to set their personal goals, plan how to achieve them, and provide a budget for all of their projects and objectives. They presented their plans to their dad, and had to negotiate their positions and debate what would be funded or not. They were encouraged to dream big, and that with wise planning, strategies, and plain hard work, they could achieve anything that they aspired to do. Their dad also took them to his office on a regular basis and taught them his business skills, ethics, and techniques for success.
I am just in awe of this story. Was it in their DNA to be successful, or was it through example and careful training from an early age? I have to believe the truth is in the middle. We don’t all share the knowledge and wisdom we have learned in our business life with our children very effectively, if at all. Children who are exposed to business lessons and business people early in their lives will have a huge leg up as they start their own careers.
Look back a couple of generations and you’ll see that the children grew up in the middle of the family business on farms, ranches, and small businesses. They learned the lessons as they saw life play out in front of them. Today, we get in our cars in the morning and return at night, and far too many of our children hear nothing about what goes on in between.
A cowgirl rides high in her saddle. That means she sits up straight and moves in fluid motion with her horse. Her control of her horse is almost invisible. She is confident. She and her horse understand each other, and respect each other.
How we present ourselves says a lot about our power. I’m a self-confessed fashionista. This comes from shopping at Neiman Marcus and Sakowitz in Houston with my mom when I was little, and having a grandmother who had impeccable taste and could sew like an expert tailor. I always get compliments on my outfits, unless I’m at the ranch; then all bets are off.
Your hair, skin, nails, and overall appearance should be as good as you can make them. Your posture, your gestures, and your mannerisms are the body language that make up your sense of style and how people perceive you. Are you confident, or are you just one of the crowd and not noticed?
One of our most senior client engagement directors has spent the majority of her career at T3. I was walking by one of our think tank rooms and she was leading a team meeting in jeans, a white t-shirt, and flip-flops—totally in control. It was totally her.
Please don’t think that I am suggesting you obsess over your looks. I just mean to do the best you can, knowing that time and resources can be your enemy. But take it from our cowgirl heroines, who were “puttin’ on the dog” when they stepped into the arena. Just think of yourself stepping into your own arena when you march into the office each day.
For some people, putting themselves together comes easily. But for others, it is really tough and they struggle with how they look, what they look good in, and how to put together a fabulous appearance.
So, this is one time I would say call in the experts. There are wonderful professional stylists, and many stores have people who are trained to do this as well. When I was growing T3 and had young children at home, I hired a very talented personal shopper. She shopped twice a year for me, dressed me head to toe, took pictures of what outfits went together, and hauled off outdated clothes to keep my closet halfway organized. It was a huge help. She saved me tons of money but more importantly, she saved me a huge amount of time—time that I spent with our kids, and building the business and my personal power.
Perhaps you have a friend or family member who has a great sense of style and can critique your look and help you begin to put it all together. The real secret is being able to pull things from a variety of stores and price levels. Expensive clothing is not always necessary. My wardrobe consists of shoes from Payless, designer dresses from Saks, tank tops from Walmart, and vintage jewelry from thrift shops. A nice pair of sunglasses will get you compliments.
I once had a client tell me she was coached to dress in plain clothes—more like a man, and to quit wearing perfume to meetings. I say hogwash—you don’t want to be outrageous, but wear what makes you feel confident and powerful. I have been asked many times, if I had to splurge on one item, what would it be? The answer is simple. I would splurge on a killer designer handbag. Why? Because you carry it every day, and they literally hold up better because of the quality and craftsmanship. It makes a statement about you.
Many years ago we hired a financial planner to help us with some insurance issues and be sure we had money for our kids’ college education. This guy asked my husband, “Do you have any idea how much money Mrs. Gaddis spends on clothing a month?” I quickly showed him the door.
I knew a powerful, well-to-do woman from an old Texas ranching family. She dressed for the ranch in blue jeans and wore elegant gowns to social events. But no matter what she was wearing she always had a buzzard feather in her hair. She did it all her life. It was a very effective yet simple power play. She was anything but ordinary. She always looked fabulous.
So what is it going to be? A fringed jacket or sequined bustier? Maybe neither one—although on occasion I have worn both, but not at the same time! Just be you.
We have a picture of my mother-in-law as a young woman. She was traveling on a ship from New Orleans to New York on her way to attend Columbia University. In the photograph she is posing with other travelers who are all dressed in formal attire getting ready for dinner. But she is wearing a fancy cowgirl outfit—complete with custom boots, a big hat, and a silk bandana tied around her neck. I have looked at that picture of her for many years, wondering why she chose that outfit.
I recently have come to understand. Isabel did not want to blend into the crowd. She wanted to stand out—so she could experience everything the trip offered. And, looking at the smile on her face, I’m sure she stole the show—something she did all her life. We were kindred spirits.
Clothes are just one way to project power. One of the most powerful things I ever did for the T3 brand was to move our office into the Pope-Watson mansion on Rio Grande Street in Austin. It is a gorgeous Greek Revival home built in 1905 with massive white columns supporting a huge, inviting porch. You walk up the steps to the front porch, past the columns, through a hand-carved front door, into a reception room graced on both sides with rooms decorated with fabulous wood carvings done by Peter Mansbendel, a famous Swiss wood-carver, and it just touches you. It tangibly represented who we were and who we wanted to become with grace, dignity, and a long, rich history. The stature and symbolism of that fabulous home defined us, our values, and our desire to succeed. There was also a humorous side to the stately home that looked very much like the Texas Governor’s Mansion. The movie The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas was shot there, and I would grin sometimes and do a little “sidestep” dance on the front porch just like the Texas governor in the movie. Pretty darn funny for an advertising agency.
We leased the Pope-Watson mansion for a few years and then had an opportunity to buy it. It was a complex, emotional situation with the sellers. We were back and forth with attorneys trying to make the deal. One night, Lee and I were in New York and had just had a wonderful meal at the Gotham Bar and Grill. We had just gone to bed, when the phone rang. It was our attorney saying he had a signed contract but he needed it returned immediately because one of the owners was in very bad health. I told him to fax the contract to the hotel.
I got up and rode the elevator into the lobby of the Plaza Hotel. I walked across that beautiful room dressed in nothing but my mink coat and stilettos. I signed the contract, and as I rode back up to our room, I thought I had reached the pinnacle of success. Buying the Pope-Watson mansion was one of the best, most powerful decisions I ever made.
When I worked for Stan Richards in Dallas at The Richards Group, Stan was fiercely protective of his brand. He stood for creative excellence and would not allow anything, and I mean anything, to go out the door without his approval. It drove the staff crazy and created all kinds of bottlenecks. He was never very good at explaining why he did not like something. But he was fanatical, and he built a legendary, national reputation for creative excellence that lives on to this day.
Your brand is you, what you say, your staff, your office, every document you produce, every presentation you make, and every product you create. Set your standards high and fiercely defend them.
Our son wears a long-sleeved white shirt with rolled-up sleeves, blue jeans, and designer shoes with loudly colored socks every day and pretty much everywhere he goes. He was in a presentation in Washington, DC, recently where everyone else in the meeting was dressed in suits, but he wore his regular uniform and won the business. His unique brand works for him.
I graduated magna cum laude only one point away from summa cum laude, because the only C I made while at the University of Texas was in a drawing class. This was fairly early on in my college career. I went to my professor to protest and he said, “Why haven’t you been in my office every week trying to figure out how to do better?” I learned the hard way to speak up early if things were not going my way. It was a lesson I never forgot.
Think about the way you receive feedback. Do you seek it out or sit back and wait for it? Are you open to it or do you try to avoid it? People with an open mind-set listen with a focus on improving and learning. Open people look for ways to learn to welcome feedback, including criticism.
In the business world, getting constructive feedback can be a real challenge. If you are in an organization that provides regular constructive feedback, congratulations. But my experience is that most companies are terrible at this, and too many still rely on the awkward ritual of annual employee reviews, which is about as useful as pounding sand in a rat hole. Both sides usually leave these events more confused.
Shelley Correll and Caroline Simard of Stanford University did a research project that “shows that women are systematically less likely to receive specific feedback tied to outcomes, both when they receive praise and when the feedback is developmental. In other words, men are offered a clearer picture of what they are doing well and more specific guidance of what is needed to get to the next level.”7
Feedback for women tends to be vague and focused more on communication style. When you do receive feedback, be sure to ask questions so that you get information about how you are impacting specific business outcomes. Do not settle for comments like, “You have done a great job.”
Speaking with some female university students, one told me that she gave a presentation with three other female students in a class. Afterward, at the critique, they were told they looked good together when they presented. What? She and I were both exasperated that there was not more specific feedback about their content and their ideas. Cowgirls continue to ask questions until they get useful answers.
Who is your coach? Who is your trainer? If the answer is always “my boss” you are going to come up short. My advice to you is to read this book and then go about building your own feedback system. Do not wait for someone to do it for you. Start a small group of people who will tell you the truth, and ask for their feedback. Think of this group of trusted souls as your “Rough Riders.” They are there to give you insights to make you more powerful. Who else is going to tell you if you are not speaking with enough authority? Who else will challenge your logic? How are you going to improve if you don’t understand your strengths and weaknesses?
You reciprocate by being a Rough Rider for each other. Think about the power of this. Think about what an impact it could make on your life and career. Think about having three or four trusted people who will give you candid feedback every day—positive and negative. Team up with your Rough Riders and build on some of the ideas in the section of the book entitled “The Cowgirl Power Toolkit.”
Try the Rough Rider idea. You will be amazed what it can do for you. And, I promise, you’ll have fun and kick some ass.
Make decisions quickly and move on. Perhaps the deadliest sin in our businesses is to allow ourselves to agonize over decisions for weeks and months. For example, in our sixteen-year relationship with Dell, the mantra was to get things 80 percent right and execute fast before the market dynamics changed. In those days, prices of computers were falling rapidly. Being at the wrong price point in a monthly catalog could spell disaster. If you wait to get that last 20 percent perfect, you set yourself up to lose. Big-time.
Do what you can do and then go. Always default toward action. You can iterate, improve, tomorrow. What you get done today is what counts. On this point, you can actually see iteration on your mobile phone as the software companies issue update after update. They should stop calling them updates and call them evolutions.
I have seen people pause and freeze in business situations. For example, in my business, the one fatal error is to hold on to overhead when you know your revenue is coming down. We sometimes hope that we can reel in that new piece of business to cover for a loss. If you are lucky, that can happen, but you cannot count on it. My position has always been to cut your losses fast. Carefully and precisely, but fast. You can always rebuild when that next piece of business is signed, sealed, and delivered.
One time, in order to cut overhead, I was going over all of our “nice but not necessary” expenses with my CFO. One item stood out. It was “Candy Friday.” Candy Friday was a much-loved tradition where at 10 a.m. every Friday, the bell would ring and bowls of candy magically appeared in the company café. Everyone would stream from their offices, pick out one or two of their favorite treats (some filled up paper cups) while laughing and visiting with their co-workers. I thought, well, we can certainly do without that. Besides, all that candy was bad for people anyway. So I cut it out to economize. No big deal, right?
The first Friday that the candy bowls disappeared was quite devastating. You would have thought I had shot someone’s dog in front of our office building. People were outraged! It was at that moment that I realized Candy Friday had become a part of our culture, an icon of our camaraderie and team spirit. It was that special moment each Friday where we began to celebrate the week, exchanged laughs with our team, and got ready for the weekend. The candy was back by the next Friday. I found other ways to cut the budget. So, sometimes a bad decision has to be reversed. Do it as quickly as you can to mitigate the damage. People will forgive and forget.
Women get hung up on perfectionism because they were taught to be more poised and polite, and to make better grades in school than those rowdy boys. Girls were cleaner, more buttoned up, and not as loud. That worked great in the structured school environment. But when young women are thrown to the wolves in the business world, they often dither too much. They want each report to be perfect and fuss over it too long. They don’t answer questions unless they know the answer with certainty. Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson, the authors of The Plateau Effect, call this tendency the “enemy of the good,” leading as it does to hours of wasted time. The irony is that striving to be perfect actually keeps us from getting much of anything done.
Get it as good as you can and then move on.
There is a lot of data out there that women often do not apply for jobs or promotions unless they meet every criterion. If they are not a perfect match, they do not apply. Men are not as hung up on perfection and rarely limit themselves. Men take risks. Cowgirls, like our Dell clients, understand that there are times when you get it about 80 percent right and go for it. This does not mean you settle for the imperfect solution. It means you prioritize action over perfection. Take action and work on making it better over time. General George Patton once said, “A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan executed next week.”
Many of the cowgirls highlighted in this book just plain marched to the beat of a different drummer. They left boarding school to join a rodeo or a Wild West show. They chose to work with the cowboys on their family ranches instead of staying in the house and helping their mothers cook. They were not afraid to break the rules every now and then. I admire this spunk and have to admit I have broken a few rules and conventions in my career and life. Some of those times put me in the absolute best place to win and of course have given me great personal satisfaction.
One female university student told me she decided to major in marketing. Her family, close friends, and advisors all had insisted she major in accounting and pursue a career in finance. Although it took a lot of courage on her part to deny their wishes and dreams for her, she was thrilled with her decision to do something she really thought she would enjoy. This takes grit. She is already becoming a cowgirl. Bravo!
What I am suggesting is that just because everyone is zigging, perhaps you should zag. Don’t be afraid to think about ways no one else has done things before. Make your own rules. It is your life and nobody else can do this for you.
I learned this lesson early in my career when I accepted the job with Leadership Dynamics that taught me so much about the importance of personality types. I had several other job offers at the time, but I thought I would learn more working with them in their executive consulting practice.
They hired me because of my marketing background; they wanted me to help them grow their business, and I did. But very quickly I got involved in their consulting projects. At first I was just writing case studies for marketing purposes. The insights fascinated me and taught me an entirely new way of thinking and interacting with people. Soon, I was writing proposals, giving presentations, and interacting directly with many of the executives.
The Harvard MBAs inspired me, showed me the way, and changed my life. Those are the kind of people you want to hang out with. Time is your most precious asset; spend it with people who inspire you. Run away from anyone else. This is an important lesson to learn early in life. In this day of social media, focus on the quality of people you spend time with, not the quantity, which can steal your mental energy. Have lunch with people you admire. Get to know them better. Ask questions. Reach out and, for goodness’ sake, follow up.
Do not follow the crowd, especially if you feel something is wrong. Once, in grade school during rehearsal for a ballet recital, I fell in with some girls who trashed a school bathroom with theatrical paint. My parents were horrified, disappointed, and devastated that I used such poor judgment. I never did anything like that again, but I still wake up from bad dreams remembering how upset they were with me.
If you want to become a powerful person, hang out with people with powerful ambitions. Find interesting people from all walks of life who are doing inspirational things, and include them in a network that helps all of you. Friendship is always a two-way street. Maintaining a relationship with someone you admire, even if it is distant, is a smart, healthy thing to do. And it is the highest compliment that you can pay someone to check in on them from time to time to see how they are doing.
With today’s technology it is much easier to do, just be sure that you take the time to put some heart into your communications. Share your creativity, your learning, and your insights with the people you know and care about. But don’t forget the power of handwritten notes. George H. W. Bush told a friend of mine, “I got to the White House with one handwritten note at a time.”
And help people when you can. I have built an amazing network of powerful women I know all over the world through C200. We have a rule that we never solicit business from each other. But when one of them reaches out saying her daughter is looking for a new job, I’m all over it. I recently got one young woman six stellar interviews at the kind of organizations she wanted to work for. She got the job she wanted. One more drop in the bucket of goodwill! I try to be very honest about my ability to help. I cannot do it all, but for a close friend, if I can, I pull out all the stops.
I was raised with a sense of Southern charm and power. We were taught that when visiting to always arrive with a gift, write thank-you notes to the hosts, and when hosting have place cards at the dinner table. We said “Yes, sir” and “No, ma’am.” That’s just how we were raised.
When T3 purchased the Pope-Watson mansion in Austin, we poured on the Southern charm and made it a part of our brand. When clients came to town, there was always a small gift waiting for them in their hotel room. There were handmade place cards at the dinner table, and the evenings always ended with a round of toasts. I used my calligraphy skills to write thank-you notes to our clients and staff. In fact, I gave a handwritten birthday and anniversary card to each T3 employee until I turned over the reins of writing these notes to Ben, our oldest son and the president of T3 today. People need to know that you appreciate them on a personal level. When clients come to the ranch we roll out a turn-of-the-century chuck wagon and serve up family-style Texas barbeque.
Making people feel welcome and appreciated is somewhat of a lost art. Be a warm, generous host. Go a little further to be a genuine and an authentic cowgirl. One of my senior team members at T3 tells the story about how she once saw me standing barefoot in our ranch kitchen at midnight peeling hard-boiled eggs with our clients from Microsoft. They were spending a few days with us and wanted to make deviled eggs from the Double Heart Ranch’s free-range chickens. That’s about as authentic as it gets.
Sometimes Southern charm can be a bit much. One of Ben and Sam Gaddis’s cousins interned with us at T3 for a few years. He grew up pretty country and I would cringe when I would hear him answering the telephone and responding with “okeydokey.” But he was authentic and I never stopped him!
If you have ever been to a rodeo, you have seen the rodeo clown. They have been delighting audiences for years and more importantly, their real mission is to protect bull riders from being stomped on by bucking bulls after they finish a ride. They have saved many lives and are the real heroes of the rodeos. They make it look easy, but it is not. Rodeo clowning is no laughing matter.
I saw a talented girl at a rodeo run the best time of the night in barrel racing. She turned in a stellar performance. It was clear she was going to be the winner and pretty much the star of the evening. When she heard her time called over the loudspeaker she whooped a big whoop, jumped off her horse, and ran over and kissed the rodeo clown on the lips. The audience roared with approval as she climbed back on her horse and took a victory lap. I was in awe of her. Not only had she won through years of hard work and practice, but she had the moxie to leverage her win by recognizing the clown and sharing the limelight with him. By doing so she gained respect and power, and everyone in attendance that night knew it.
Kiss the clown. Take the time to stop and recognize your team. Give them all of the credit. Thank them. You’ll be a powerful cowgirl when you do.