AFTER MY BIG BUST, I GO OVER TO WHITNEY’S TO SEE IF she wants to jump off Waimea rock.
I knock on her door, but she doesn’t answer, so I go around back. Will is there with his dad, reading the paper and eating breakfast. He looks up at me, then back down, shifting in his chair. Eddie doesn’t seem to recognize me.
“Hi, Lea,” Will says.
“Lea,” Eddie says, looking at me as if with fresh eyes.
“Hi, Mr. West.”
“Your mom with you?” He takes a sip of what looks like a Bloody Mary.
“No, just me here.”
“We used to date, you know,” he says.
I laugh, uncomfortable, and Will immediately says, “Dad. Can I have Sports?” I think as a way to change topics.
“It’s really nice having her around,” Eddie says.
“Dad,” Will says. “Sports.”
“Sports,” he says. I wonder how many Bloody Marys he’s had.
“Is Whitney around?” I ask.
“Kitchen,” Will says, looking down at the paper.
“Thinking of going to the North Shore,” I say. “If you want to go.”
“Golf,” Will says.
I stand there, insulted by something intangible.
“Another big day,” Eddie says. “My boy.”
Will looks like whatever he’s reading about is paining him. I want to run away before Eddie says anything else. I don’t want to think about his sickness and weirdness with my mom. I want to flee and get in the ocean.
Will looks up and finally flashes me a small, private grin. I want to sit on his lap, tell him he’s hot, mysterious, cool, and charming—and hot, did I mention that? I want to be seen with him and not seen with him as we hook up on the daybed, or in the ocean at sunset. That would be nice. I glance at the daybed, then back at Will.
“Lei!” Whitney says. She walks out in another long T-shirt. “What’s up?”
“Want to go to the North Shore?” I ask. “We can jump off the rock?”
“Totally,” she says. “Let me get my act together.”
Will jostles his newspaper, holding it in front of his face, concluding something that never quite began. I feel so bad for him, taking care of a father who sometimes seems like a child. That same tension is on his face that he had the other day after being up all night, caring for him. And yet, his compassion keeps him going.
“You girls need some cash?” Eddie says.
“Sure, Daddy,” Whitney says.
She take a few bites from his plate, and I get a surge of sadness, thinking of how their family will cope. I’m watching Whitney, but can feel Eddie looking at me as he hands her a stack of cash. I quickly look at him and smile, and have the sensation that he’s gazing proudly at something that belongs to him.