Troy
After the disconnected call, I assumed something had happened to Adam's phone and figured he would eventually call back. There was plenty to do at work and I just couldn't afford to stress over it. But when by the time I got home there were still no calls, I got somewhat worried and tried calling instead of just waiting.
Unfortunately the call disconnected, and while it didn't help alleviate my fears, I figured my theory of a broken phone was still in place. Adam had said he would call when he was free to meet, and I'd decided to believe him.
By day five my worry must have been obvious because Kay stopped on her way to lunch and dragged me out with her.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" she asked between bites.
"I'm not sure. I guess I'm just worried," I confessed, picking at my food.
"Worried about what?"
"I haven't heard from Adam in a while. We spoke a few days ago, sort of." I took a moment to think about it. "He called wanting to tell me something when the connection broke and his phone has been disconnected since then."
"I'm sure he's all right. Probably something happened to his phone and he hasn't had a chance to fix it. Have you tried his work or land line?"
"No. I'll wait a few more days. I'll call Michael today, he might know what's up." With the rush of thoughts through my mind, it occurred to me that I really just might be over reacting. "Do you think I'm just blowing it out of proportion? I'm going around checking up on him. It seems a bit stalkerish. Doesn't it?"
"Maybe just a little, sweetheart. Let it rest for a while. I'm sure he'll get back to you as soon as he can. I might have been drunk that night, but I still noticed how smitten that guy was with you. He's not going anywhere by choice." Kay grinned at me, almost mockingly.
"Don't tease. I'm vulnerable right now." I pouted, contemplating just how good of an idea lunch had been anyway.
"You just worry too much. Relax. We can always go drinking again. That seemed to have worked last time."
"Didn't I just tell you not to tease? You're evil, woman." I flicked a piece of bread her way.
"So that's how it is. I'm over here trying to help, and you're insulting me. Is that any way to treat your friends?"
"Probably not," I answered. "But you treat me way worse, and I still call you a friend. It's something to think about."
Kay opened her mouth, once, then a second time, but then she snapped it shut and huffed, crossing her arms in front of her.
*~*~*
"Hey, Michael. I was just calling to ask if you might know where Adam is. I can't seem to reach him on his phone," I said as soon as he answered.
"I'm not sure. I'm on weeklong educational seminar for work. But I know Zach's been working like crazy and leaving Archer with Gabriel. I'm sure he's fine wherever he is," he reassured me.
"Thanks. I've been getting worried."
"No problem. But I have to go now. I went out to take the call. We'll talk when I get back, I promise. We haven't seen you in ages," M said in what seemed like just one breath.
"Sure. Take care," I managed just before he hung up on me.
Yet another dead end, but once again, it helped. If nothing else, I at least knew something had happened and Adam was unavailable. If he was sick or something I was sure Michael would have known.
But despite the self-assurances, I still dreamed that night and falling into old patterns seemed almost as easy as breathing.
I was frightened as I headed home from school. My bag's strap clutched in my hand, I kept glancing around, hoping to see the danger before it was too late.
I hadn't seen Billy today, and at least once during school hours, he liked to remind me he existed. I preferred a spilled drink, or when he tripped me, to some of his more creative solutions. So I watched and fretted only for my predictions to come true, as a hand pulled me around the corner into a dark alley.
Losing my breath as I hit my back against the wall, I could barely gasp before Billy was in my face, grinning like the sadist I knew he was.
"All alone and neglected, little Helen," he crooned, his gaze mean and unforgiving.
"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you today, I just wanted it to be special." He pulled me off the wall only to slam me against it even harder.
"God, why don't you just leave me alone?" I groaned trying to loosen his hands from my shirt.
"But I would miss you." He pinched my chest until I yelped and fought harder.
"Don't worry, it'll all be over soon," he reassured me before dragging me forward and toward what I saw was a dumpster. That was a new one, but honestly not unexpected. I was already humiliated, knowing it would be only worse once I managed to get myself out of it. He would probably take pictures, too. And then everyone would know about it, and mention it tomorrow in school. It was unavoidable like a curse and so fucking unfair, that I had to go through shit like this day in and out.
Only this time, even as I hissed when my shoulder blades connected with the round metal, it felt like something broke in me. It was enough, too much, not worth it. I deserved better. And instead of my usual defensive and mostly half-hearted struggle, I used everything I had and slammed my foot against his.
Billy howled as he crouched down to the ground and I wasted no time in pushing him away, retrieving my bag and running home. I didn't deserve to be thrown in the dumpster, to be belittled and humiliated. I was a person, too.
I woke up covered in sweat and gasping. That wasn't how that particular day had gone. I did end up in the dumpster and there were pictures of it all over the school the next day. But I could have fought and the dream was right, I did deserve better. It might have gone worse for me the next day, but I still would have done something.
I got up and splashed water on my face. I looked pale and exhausted, far from boyfriend material. But there was something Adam still liked about me, and just like in the dream against the bully, it was time that I fought for something I deserved.
*~*~*
"Bar Down Tattoo, how may I help you?" Someone not Jill spoke as soon as the line connected.
I paused for a moment, unsure what to ask before going with, "Hello. May I speak to Adam, please?"
"I'm sorry, Adam is unavailable at the moment," she said but it sounded like she was already ready to hang up.
"Well do you know when he'll be available?" I persisted.
"I'm sorry, I don't have that kind of information. Do you have an appointment? I can possibly reschedule you." She was unsure even about that.
"No, I don't have an appointment. If Adam isn't there, could I maybe speak to Zach?" I tried again, now just unwilling to give up.
"Um… He's here but I'm unsure if he's started with a client already. If it's urgent I could check." She was obviously reluctant to interrupt him, but I needed to know what had happened with Adam at this point.
"Yes, please. If he's available I would like to speak with him." I must have sounded relieved because she barely said, "Just a moment, please." And I could hear her putting the receiver against a hard surface.
It was minutes later that Zach's familiar voice sounded on the other side. "Hello?"
"Hi, Zach, this is Troy if you remember me?" Hesitantly I hoped I wouldn't have to explain to him when exactly he'd met me.
"Oh, hey Troy. Sure I remember. How can I help you, we're having a bit of a crowd here." He sounded absent, as if he was doing three other things while he was speaking to me. What the hell was going on?
"I'm just calling to ask about Adam. The last time he called me his phone disconnected and I haven't been able to reach him since. Michael doesn't know what's up and short of coming down to the shop, I have no idea who else to call." Rushing to put as many words out there before he too had to go I sincerely hoped he had a good answer for me.
"He dropped his phone in the toilet if you can believe it. He must have been speaking to you. Anyway, his mother broke something and he had to leave for home for two weeks to help out. I don't think he's fixed his phone yet, and if he's anything like me, he doesn't know any of the numbers off the top of his head. I'm sure he's gonna contact you as soon as he can or when he comes back at the latest. We're expecting him next Monday morning. I'll tell him you called." Zach's words were easy, almost casual but they lifted a huge weight off my heart.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it. At least I now know not to worry," I told him with a relieved smile.
"It's no trouble. I have to get back to work now, it's been crazy around here without him," Zach said and soon after hung up.
I was still worried, but it was far from the familiar fear of rejection and abandonment. This time I worried about his mother and was even a little bit selfish, thinking how his time would now be divided and who knows when we would be able to see each other again.
Now that the worst of it was behind me, I missed the man, recalling how easy simple conversation was with him and how he tended to reassure me as soon as I wasn't too stubborn to let him in on the problem. Adam was new, intriguing and essentially a really nice person. I suppose I would eventually get used to his good looks as well. I snorted to myself as I opened the program on my computer. Another week would pass soon enough, and I could always bury myself in my work again. That seemed to make time fly. Now all I had to do was avoid Kay until she forgot there was anything wrong with me in the first place. There was no way I would be able to handle her seemingly innocent ribbing and another drunken night of her trying to extract information.