All One Family
Any sabbat that focuses on feasting is one that welcomes the involvement of teenagers. Chocolate becoming an important part of the lesser sabbat Eostar certainly helps. Eostar is also known as Ostara and vernal (spring) equinox, from the Latin aequus “equal” and nox “night.” This is a moment of balance when light and dark and day and night become equal again.
Easter has its origins in Eostar, and while it has shifted a bit on the Roman calendar, Easter maintains all the symbols traditionally associated with Eostar: eggs, rabbits, baby animals, lambs, and seeds. These symbols of Eostar are also symbols of fertility, spring, and rebirth. While Yule represented the rebirth of the sun, Eostar represents the rebirth of the earth.
In much of North America, the vernal equinox is a time of early planting. If you live in Canada like me, or the northern United States, then it is a time to start seeds indoors. These seedlings will grow strong, and will be ready to be transplanted outdoors when the threat of frost has passed.
Eostar is a time of celebration as the light gains. Life is growing and the quickened seeds stir deep beneath the soil, ready to sprout. The earth is awakening, slowly. This is a time of celebrating the young virgin Goddess and her energy of beauty, strength, and freedom that we now witness in the wildness of nature.
The word “virgin” didn’t always have all the sexual connotations it has now. It actually once meant a woman who was not under the care and control of a father, brother, or husband; a woman who was autonomous, independent, and not required to answer to any man or child. The word has become subverted and is used in the modern era to denote a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. While historically the term was usually ascribed to female persons, specifically those who became priestesses of the Goddess and fulfilled the role of “vestal virgin,” these days the word “virgin” applies to both male and female. And even though the use of the word “virgin” traditionally referred to power and autonomy, and solely to females, let’s extend it to apply to both males and females for the sake of modern conversations about the word.
Leading up to Eostar, have some conversations with your teens about the word “virgin.” Oh, I know, at first they will cringe and say: “No, Mom. No talking about sex.” My daughter even stuck her fingers in her ears. But if you can be clear that you are really talking about the word’s meaning, you may just hook them. My daughter loves to know things that her peers and even teachers don’t. I think she feels quite powerful with the knowledge.
Introduce the ancient meaning of the word “virgin.” Talk to your teens about autonomy. After all, the teen years are a time of exploring greater and greater autonomy and independence. Help to identify the areas that your teenager is becoming more autonomous in: Are they able to plan meals, shop, and cook? Do they do their own laundry and clothes shopping? Are they able to schedule time to get their homework and projects done on a timeline? Encourage your teenager to talk about how autonomy feels. Do they remember when they were young and could never be left alone? Compare it to now and how self-sufficient they are.
In some Pagan traditions, witches would make a list of injustices in the days leading up to Eostar: what others had done to them, and what they had done to others. With their list of negatives, the witches would set about doing positive acts to benefit those they harmed to attempt to right the injustice. The good they did helped to level out the scales of karma.
Practice: Burning Injustice
Gather a candle, matches, a fireproof bowl, a few slips of paper, and pens.
Sit with your teenager and recount the story of Persephone and Demeter. If you’re like me, your teens are familiar with it from Samhain. Talk about Eostar being the time when Persephone begins her ascent, climbing back up to the earth’s surface. She climbs back to Demeter, to love, and to the light.
Each take a slip of paper and a pen. List where and with whom you have experienced injustice.
Share your lists, and let your teen express how much injustice has hurt them.
On the other side of the same paper, each of you make a list of ways that you have been unfair to others. List the person and the injustice. It is not necessary to share this information. Then say:
It’s time for us to begin the journey up, into the light, out of Hades.
Light the candle and let it illuminate you. Carefully light your slip of paper on fire, and set it in the fireproof bowl. Invite your teenager to do so as well. Then proclaim:
Now the light overcomes the dark.
With the candle still burning, each take another slip of paper. Write the antidote to your negative actions on the paper. Maybe it is doing a good deed for someone you have harmed or giving a small gift. Maybe the antidote is to draw closer to someone you have been apart from for a while, much like Persephone will be doing.
Using the candle, carefully burn the antidote lists, and release them into the light.
As you blow out the candle, implore your teenager to walk up and out and into the light. Now that they are autonomous and independent, teach them how to right their own wrongs.
Seal the deal with a sweet chocolate bunny or egg. As you hand the treat to your teenager, say:
Today we celebrate your autonomous journey, planting these seeds of wisdom and understanding. As the earth comes into balance, so do we. And as the light grows outside of us, let the goodness grow inside of us, becoming stronger than the dark.