Jesus called [his disciples] together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”
Mark 10:42–44
In our Lead Like Jesus workshops, we often ask, “How many of you think of yourselves as a leader?” We are amazed that only about 20 to 25 percent of the people raise their hands, even though our audiences are always predominantly made up of managers and supervisors at every level of a business, an educational institution, a government agency, or a faith-based organization. The reason most people don’t raise their hands is they assume that leadership has to do with a workplace position or title. Many people feel they are not high up enough on the organizational chart to say that they are leaders.
We always follow up our first question by asking people to think about the person who has had the most significant impact on their lives, the person who has played a major role in who they are today as human beings. Then we ask, “How many of you named a manager or a supervisor you’ve worked for over the years?” Hardly a hand goes up. Then we ask, “How many of you identified your father, your mother, a grandmother or grandfather, aunt, uncle, or friend?” Almost every hand in the room goes up. Why is that? Because in reality, every human being is a leader in some part of his or her life—because leadership is an influence process. We believe that anytime you seek to influence the thinking, behavior, or development of someone in your personal or professional life, you are taking on the role of a leader.
As a result, the only way to avoid leadership is to isolate yourself from the outside world.
Leadership can be as intimate as speaking words of guidance and encouragement to a loved one or as formal as passing instructions along extended lines of communication in an organization. Leadership can be nurturing character and self-worth in children and promoting greater intimacy and fulfillment in personal relationships, or it can involve distributing resources in an organization to reach a specific goal or accomplish a given task.
Thus, there are two types of leadership: life role leadership and organizational leadership.
As a spouse, parent, family member, friend, or citizen, you have multiple life role leadership opportunities every day. What leadership role could be more important than these? Consider some examples:
• a husband and wife who seek mutual agreement on day-to-day finances
• a mother who teaches her toddler how to eat with a spoon
• a son who provides aging parents with advice and guidance about living arrangements
• a person who risks alienation when confronting a friend about a moral failure
• a citizen who helps find housing for the homeless
Different from life role leadership, organizational leadership usually comes with an official position or title that empowers you to serve the perceived needs of an organization. Again, examples might help:
• a corporate executive who rejects offers of insider information that would give his company a competitive edge
• a middle school teacher who excites curiosity in her students
• a rehabilitation nurse who patiently handles a stroke victim’s anger
• a pastor who comforts a grieving member of his church
• a high school football coach who focuses more on molding his players’ character than on winning games
A key difference between life role leadership and organizational leadership involves the permanence of the relationships involved. Life role leaders function in enduring relationships as parents, spouses, siblings, friends, and citizens; duty and obligation cannot be easily relinquished or discarded.
Organizational leaders, on the other hand, operate for a season in an environment of temporary relationships and fairly constant change. People can come and go very quickly for all sorts of reasons. This lack of stability in organizations often breeds a degree of reserve and qualified commitment evident in competitive office politics.
Most of the significant leadership that shapes our lives does not come from leaders with titles on an organizational chart; it comes from leaders in life role relationships. It is instructive to note that in the early church, a candidate’s life role leadership was a prerequisite for assuming organizational leadership. In 1 Timothy 3:1–7 we read this:
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.
One person who exemplified servant leadership in Jesus’ life was His mother, Mary: “I am the Lord’s servant. . . . May your word to me be fulfilled” (Luke 1:38). She passed on to her Son a legacy of obedience, submission, faith, and service. Mary epitomized the essence of a servant heart. In her life role as a mother, she was positioned to have strategic influence on the life and spirit of her Child. The relationship between mother and Son—between a soul already tested and found willing and a Soul to be nurtured, between a spiritual teacher and a Student—was part of God’s plan to prepare Jesus for leadership.
PAUSE AND REFLECT
Take a moment to think about the people who have most influenced your thinking, your behavior, and your life path. As you recall their names and faces, you will realize that leadership titles and positions of organizational authority are only part of the leadership landscape—and usually not the most significant part.