Quibdó, 23 November 2016

Dear friend,

I know my stories must at times carry with them my craziness, at others my musings on the world and every so often my sadness, or perhaps they show you how sane I can be.

I suppose one way of summing up a life could be describing the different phases we’ve had in our relationship with sex. Perhaps it’s precisely because of the way sex can be so spiritual or so basic, something utterly raw or a profound meeting of souls. It can even be both things at once.

By this point in my sexual journey, which isn’t all that wide-ranging but is something I’ve thought about a lot, I’m not sure it really is impossible to mix short-lived and total connections. In fact, that’s the dynamic that seems healthiest to me, and which allows me the freedom to live without limiting myself and without feeling that I have unfinished business with my pleasure.

It’s really magical what you’re experiencing at the moment. It feeds the soul. There’s a time for everything: you must have had, and will have again, times in your life when pleasure takes over and you remember it’s not worth resisting.

I think what’s given me stability is that mix of total and short-lived connections; it’s having all my senses invested in a single life project, which, as I’ve told you before, I’ve so often discussed, examined and analysed with my husband, and from there, from that place which is also a safe harbour, sometimes allowing myself the pleasure of thinking only of my senses.

I hope you achieve your goal of seeking total connections and avoiding the short-lived ones. Being in a purely romantic phase is a beautiful thing. I could skip the stories of my sex life for a while so as not to put you off, or we could carry on talking about everything. After all, we don’t need reminding that other people’s stories can help us find paths through our own.

I feel flattered by your confession.

Kisses and hugs.