NOBODY THINKS YOU ARE FUNNY ORANGE-GLAZED PORK CHOPS

You will need:

 

1 Tbs. butter
1 clove garlic
Half onion, minced
1 tsp. ground cumin
Better material
1 cup orange juice
2 pork chops
2 Tbs. olive oil
Timing
Salt and pepper

Melt butter in a medium pan over moderate heat. Add onion, garlic, and cumin and sauté until soft, about 7 minutes. Add orange juice and simmer for 15 minutes.

 

Meanwhile, salt and pepper pork chops and sauté over medium-high heat until fully cooked. As tempting as it is to eat them raw so as to inflict death upon yourself from salmonella, don’t. There are plenty of people that may one day find your personality tolerable. It should come as a relief that you have finally realized after thirty-four years that your go-to joke (A sandwich walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “We don’t serve food in here”) is just not funny. Neither are jokes about insurance premiums, tax codes, and incurable diseases that afflict children. Nor is a joke made funnier by prefacing it with “Did you ever notice,” by saying “That was a joke,” or after drinking half a bottle of tequila. And if you have to ask, “Get it?” They didn’t.

 

When chops are fully cooked, pour sauce over them, scraping up little brown bits on bottom of pan. Turn onto plate and enjoy as best you can.