MIL FROM HELL TACO BELL
When your mother-in-law plops herself down in front of your computer to play Sudoku for hours at a time, do not bristle. When your mother-in-law forages through your refrigerator, pay no attention. When she asks you to make her a tuna sandwich, do so with a smile. When your mother-in-law extols the virtues of your husband’s ex-wife, saying that her tuna sandwiches were “exquisite,” do not shove said sandwich in her face.
When your mother-in-law tells your child that it is a pity he doesn’t have a mommy like her, pretend not to hear. When your mother-in-law has fourth crying jag in one day, complaining that your husband just doesn’t love her anymore, hand her the stinking tissues. When your mother-in-law falls asleep on the couch in the middle of the afternoon, get in the car.
Head for nearest Taco Bell and order:
1 Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme
1 Gordita Baja
1 Chalupa Nacho Cheese
1 side Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes
1 large Mountain Dew Baja Blast
2 orders Cinnamon Twists
Eat while sitting in car, taking as much time as needed to remind yourself why you put up with her: not because your children love their grandma, but for her house in Nantucket.
