LONELY CHRISTMAS PUDDING

You will need:

 

1 Christmas tree
Christmas music
1 box gingerbread or spice cake mix
1 can pumpkin
¼ cup butter
¼ cup confectioner’s sugar
1 bottle brandy, any quality, doesn’t matter

Put on Christmas music. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a Bundt pan. Prepare cake mix according to package directions, substituting canned pumpkin for egg and oil. Under the Christmas tree, find the solitary present you wrapped for yourself. Open and change into those new pajamas—just what you wanted! Pour batter into the pan and bake for 35 minutes or until done.

 

To prepare hard sauce, mix softened butter with brandy and sugar to taste. Oh, and you better taste the brandy. Then taste brandy again, just to be sure. No need to bother with a glass—nobody’s here anyway.

 

Remove cake from oven, douse with brandy, slather with hard sauce, and enjoy with more brandy.

 

Turn on television just for the sound of the voices. Drink brandy until you fall asleep, comforted by the thought that when you wake up it won’t be Christmas anymore.