PMS POT STICKERS

You will need:

 

40 wonton wrappers
½ pound ground pork
1 egg
Chocolate
¼ cup chopped scallion
¼ cup shredded carrots
¼ cup duck sauce
Water
1½ cups oil for frying
Midol
Someone to yell at
½ cup soy sauce
1 tsp. sesame oil

Remove medieval torture device otherwise known as a bra. Put on comfy sweat pants to allow for bloating. If someone should cross your path as you go to change, yell at them. If they cross your path again, give them a good shove so they don’t do it again.

 

Preheat oven to 200°F. In a large bowl, combine pork, egg, scallion, carrots, and duck sauce. Eat chocolate. Place one wonton in front of you and brush sides with water. Place ½ tsp. pork mixture in center of wonton. Do not mindlessly eat pork mixture or confuse it with chocolate, as raw pork is teeming with deadly bacteria and will kill you. Fold wonton and seal edges. Place wonton on a baking sheet under a damp towel. Repeat with remaining wontons.

 

Place a large nonstick skillet over high heat and add 1 Tbs. oil, to coat bottom. Take Midol to combat both cramps and the splitting headache that has resulted from the filling and folding of so many wontons. Rethink decision to embark on such a tedious endeavor. After all, pot stickers are just a phone call away. Consider the limp greasy mess that is a delivery order of pot stickers and place 10 dumplings in the hot pan and fry for 2 minutes until the bottoms are golden brown. Add 1 cup water and cover, cooking 5 minutes or until water is absorbed. Place on baking sheet in warmed oven and repeat with remaining wontons.

 

Mix soy sauce and sesame oil together. Dunk pot stickers into dipping sauce while having a good cry and trying to remember that PMS is far better than the alternatives: pregnancy, menopause, or a complete hysterectomy.