I sit on the edge of the bed and just stare at my ring as light bounces off it with every slight movement of my hand. The whole thing still feels a little overwhelming. We had said the love word to each other, but I still had no clue that he was planning on popping the question at any point in the foreseeable future… let alone tonight.
I kick off my flats and lie down on the bed, resting my head on the pillow. The lamp next to me is already on and I look at my ring again. I can't take my eyes off it. I would've thought it was beautiful even if it wasn't mine, but that just makes it even more special.
This has been the best night of my life and I wish I could just freeze time so it would last forever. I'm still wearing my dress… I don't want to take it off because it would signal the end to a magical evening.
Spencer walks into the bedroom, closes the door and sits down on the bed next to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it lightly.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi.”
“Sorry about Logan… I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted Jess to be here… and she asked if he could come. I didn't want her to not be here.”
I roll onto my side and look up at Spencer. He looks down and smiles at me as I put my hand on his leg.
“It's fine… really.”
“You're sure?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“I just know how awkward it can be to see your ex… so I wasn't sure.”
It wasn't nearly as weird as I would have thought, but maybe that's because I briefly ran into Logan when I was hanging out with Jess at her work.
“It's fine… my only thoughts for some time now have been of you.”
He takes my hand in his and gives it a light squeeze. I close my eyes and sigh… it feels so good just to have our hands touching, it's everything I always wished for between us. There have certainly been a few times since my breakup with Logan that thoughts of him entered my mind, but none of them were romantic in nature… so I don't feel like it's something I need to mention to Spencer.
“I really love you,” he says.
“I love you.”
I feel so happy in this moment. Everything is perfect… I can't even imagine anything happening that could ever bring me down.
“I know it's kind of changing the subject, but I'm just saying this to remind us to talk about it tomorrow… we need to figure out what we're going to do with you going to Chicago… and after you get back.”
I just kind of assume that he'll want me to move in with him, but I guess I shouldn't be presumptuous.
“We can talk about it right now… if you want.”
“No… it's fine, I just think it's important to be clear with each other about what's going to happen moving forward.”
“That sounds sort of ominous,” I say.
I'm not really being serious and I think Spencer realizes that. He smiles at me, leans down and kisses me on the forehead.
“I'll be right back… I have to brush my teeth.”
His hand brushes against my leg before he stands up and walks toward the bathroom. I'm ready for bed, other than taking off my dress and I'm not ready for that quite yet. I know that our life together will be amazing, every single moment filled with joy and excitement… but this is the moment I will cherish forever.
I hear the water running in the bathroom as I look up at the ceiling. It was so sweet of him to get Jess here, I know it was a surprise… but I have a feeling that pulling all those strings to make it happen isn't what has been bothering him the last few days. I think has to do with the movie he auditioned for, but he hasn’t brought it up yet. I guess maybe it’s one of the things he wants to talk about tomorrow.
Spencer walks out of the bathroom and back toward the bed, taking his shirt off over his head as he does so. He winks at me and I can feel my cheeks turning red. There’s a knock on the door that pulls both of our attention away from the moment. I wrinkle my brow as Spencer turns and walks over to the door. They knock a second time just before he pulls the door open.
“Hey,” Spencer says, “what do you need?”
“Can I talk to Amy?”
It’s Jess. What could she want? I just kind of assumed they already went to bed… she and Logan went to their room the same time we did. I stand up and walk toward the door. Spencer turns around and sees me. He stands aside and I smile at Jess.
“What’s up?” I say.
“Can we just talk for a minute?”
“Sure,” I say, glancing over at Spencer.
He smiles at me and I walk out into the hallway and pull the door most of the way closed.
“Do you mind if we go to the living room?” she says.
I shake my head and follow her down the hall and we sit down across from each other. She smiles, but I can tell by the look on her face that something is weighing on her mind.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing… not really, but I felt like I needed to explain myself.”
“What do you mean?” I say.
“Logan… I feel kind of bad about everything that happened.”
I shake my head and smile at her.
“It’s totally fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jess says.
“Yeah.”
“I just… I feel like a terrible friend.”
“You shouldn’t,” I say, “seriously… you didn’t do anything wrong.”
She shrugs and looks down at her hands. I wonder if I know the whole story… and I have a feeling I’m about to find out either way. I’m not even sure what Jess thought couldn’t wait until morning, but I feel like because she’s my friend I should hear her out.
“Well,” she says, “sorry about interrupting… whatever you were just doing....”
I can feel my face turning bright red as I realize what she’s implying.
“No… it’s nothing like that… we were just getting ready for bed.”
“Oh… well, what I wanted to talk to you about was Logan… even if you don’t care it would make me feel like less of a crappy friend.”
“We really don’t have to talk about it,” I say, “unless you really want to… you’re not a crappy friend.”
“I just feel like I was on your side with everything that happened with Logan, so it’s kind of awful for me to end up dating him… you know what I mean?”
I get what she’s saying, but I don’t even really care. She’s obviously feeling guilty about it for some reason and even though I’m starting to feel tired I should give her the chance to explain herself.
“You were,” I say, “I remember you saying you would find him and give him a piece of your mind.”
We both smile and laugh. It’s so good to see her… I feel like I left Salem so quickly and never really got a chance to spend any reasonable amount of time hanging out with her, but now she’s here.
“Yeah, that sounds like me. It was just so different… you know? I was mad at him for what he did to you, but I kept bumping into him when I went running. I was out one morning and I caught my toe on some uneven pavement. I went flying and before I knew it, Logan, like, appeared out of thin air. He helped me up and that’s when it clicked. I still just feel like I betrayed you.”
“Jess, please, don’t feel like that. He’s a good guy… we just weren’t meant to be together.”
I never thought about it before I said it, but it’s kind of true. Logan was in my life when I needed him, but things happened that pushed us apart. We initially tried to fight it as I was forced to move to L.A., but it’s clear that everything happens for a reason. I can’t imagine not having Spencer in my life… and that would have never happened if a million little things didn’t happen exactly how they did.
“You’re OK with it? I don’t want this to change our friendship.”
“It’s fine,” I say, “I promise. I would tell you if I was… uncomfortable with it or anything. I want you to be just as happy as I am.”
Jess looks up at me and smiles as she shifts on the couch.
“I also wanted to explain my weird behavior when you dropped by my house… Logan was inside and I was kind of freaking out. I wasn’t sure what you’d think if you knew he was there. I felt horrible about it when we went furniture shopping.”
“I didn’t really think much of it at the time… but once you showed up here with Logan… then it kind of clicked.”
“Yeah,” she says, “I saw the look on your face… you looked surprised, but it was like you had already connected some of the dots.”
“I’m glad you’re here… there isn’t anyone else I would’ve rather shared tonight with.”
“Even though I brought Logan?”
“Yes. I’m serious… I want you both to be happy.”
“Thanks,” Jess says.
She scoots closer to me on the couch and wraps her arms around me. I feel so blessed to have a friend like her in my life. I can’t imagine anything ever coming between us, especially not something as silly or stupid as her dating Logan.
We say goodnight and head back to our respective bedrooms. I’m glad she’s going to be here for the next couple of days—it’ll give us a chance to catch up and for me to just take it easy before I have to go back to L.A. and start prepping for my movie role.
I close the bedroom door and slowly walk toward the bed.
“Is everything OK?”
“Yeah… everything is great.”
I quickly get settled and climb into bed next to Spencer. I curl up next to him and rest my head on his chest. He runs his hand through my hair and kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes and sigh. Life is perfect.