When I wake up in the morning, Olivia’s eyes are already open and she is staring blanky at the wall across the room.
Sitting up on the bed, I’m careful not to disturb her. “How are you feeling this morning?”
The look she gives me says it all, “Devastated, betrayed, humiliated.”
“There’s no need to feel humiliated Olivia, there’s no way you could have known.” There’s no way that anyone could have known the truth.
No more than I could have known the truth about Edward.
Sniffling, she whispers, “Still, I feel like an idiot.”
Maybe it would help her to know that I think Hayden really loves her.
It won’t change anything between them but it might stop her feeling so humiliated. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now but I think his feelings for you are genuine.”
She eyes me darkly, “How can you say that? There’s nothing genuine about what he did. I was just a job to him.”
Nobody else has wanted to voice an opinion about Hayden but I see the looks they give him.
They see it too.
A man who is utterly devoted and in love with Olivia.
With time, I believe they can have a real shot together.
I’ve never heard Olivia speak so highly about a guy before and it kills me that she has had her heart broken.
I want nothing more than to fix this for her.
“He’s still outside Olivia,” I say carefully. “He hasn’t left, not once. He just sits there.”
She scoffs, “And that’s supposed to make me feel what? Sorry for him?”
“No, of course not-”
“Good, because I don’t have feelings for him anymore. He means nothing to me,” she snaps but her face gives her away.
He means everything to her.
“That’s your hurt talking Olivia and I don’t blame you for being mad but I think it would help to talk to him.” I quickly add, “When you’re ready of course.”
She shakes her head adamantly, “I’ll never speak to him again.”
For her sake, I hope that’s not the case.
Something like this has the ability to eat away at her for years to come. “You will need to talk to someone at some stage. Trust me when I say that no good can come from bottling this all up inside.”
She releases a dark laugh, “We’re certainly a pair, aren’t we? Both have parents with secrets. Both have grandfathers who tried to destroy us in one way or another.”
I sigh, “Yeah, it’s not something I thought we would ever have in common.” Then already knowing I shouldn’t, I add, “Both had handsome men come to our rescue.”
She glares at me, “Mine may be handsome but there’s nothing good about him. At least Blake didn’t fuck you for months, playing you for a fool. It was easy for you to forgive his deception as it only lasted a few days and he saved your life.”
That’s just her hurt talking. “Hayden saved your life too Olivia.”
She swallows loudly, “He was the one who shot Douglas, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah, he was. From what I’ve overheard, he broke about a hundred traffic laws to get to you and entered that building by himself. He went against orders to wait for backup to get to you in time.” He had no idea what he was walking into.
Douglas could have had a gun and shot him as soon as he walked through that door.
If he didn’t love Olivia then he wouldn’t have put himself in so much danger.
Her fingers turn white from how hard she is pulling at them. “That doesn’t make up for what he did to me.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I agree. “But having you here and alive, kind of makes it hard for me to hate him.”
I wish for Olivia’s sake that I could hate him but I don’t.
She sniffles, “That’s fine, I have enough hate for the both of us.”
“You don’t mean that Olivia. Just give it some time, a few months maybe and then I think it will be good for you guys to sit down and talk. If for nothing more than closure.” Blake suggested that I see a therapist after nearly being sold into sex slavery in Italy and it’s one of the best things I have ever done.
It has helped me heal and move on with my life.
It won’t be easy but I believe that Olivia can move past this as well.
She’s so strong.
Way stronger than I am.
“No Maddy, I don’t ever want to see him again and I’ll never forgive him.” Tears start rolling down her cheeks again and I curse myself for upsetting her.
I shouldn’t be bringing Hayden up now.
She’s still healing, still processing everything that’s happened to her.
Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her close to me. “I love you Olivia.”
She rests her head on my shoulder, “I love you too Maddy.”
After a few minutes, she wipes her eyes and lifts her head. “I’m tired, do you mind if I get some rest before everyone else comes in for the day?”
“Of course not.” Standing from the bed, I make my way over to the door.
Looking back at Olivia breaks my heart.
I know her too well.
Her hatred towards Hayden is just a front.
She loves him.
More than she is letting on but his betrayal has cut her deeply.
It’s like he’s hurt her more than Douglas ever could have.
I’ll let it go for now.
Once her life settles down, I’ll try to talk to her again.
She’s been there with me through everything and now it’s my turn to be there for her.
Walking out of her hospital room, I shut the door and I’m surprised when I look over to see Hayden’s chair empty.
“Dad practically forced him to go get something to eat. They’ll be back soon.” Looking over at Tyler, my heart skips a beat. “How is she this morning?”
“Not good.” Even though I want to lie to Tyler, I can’t.
He’s not someone I’ve ever been able to lie too, that’s why I’ve been ignoring him all year.
Looking up and down the hallway, I realize this is the first time that we have been alone since I got here.
There’s no one to overhear us talk.
No one to see us interact.
Tyler must realize the same thing as he stands and walks over to me, not hesitating to wrap his arms around me.
He buries his head in my neck and lets out a shuddering breath.
My own arms automatically wrap around his body and I breath in his familiar scent.
I’m not sure how long we hold each other for.
Time seems to stand still when I’m with Tyler.
I haven’t forgotten his rejection in Italy.
That still stings, more than I want to admit but it’s clear that I will never get over him.
I’m happy with Blake.
I’ve even grown to love him but there’s nothing quite like that first love.
It’s a love that has burned inside me my entire life and even though it may dim, it will never be fully extinguished.
He pulls back and strokes the side of my face, staring deep into my eyes, “I’ve missed you Matty.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Damn it, why can’t I lie to him?
It would be so much easier if I could dismiss him.
Push him away and move on with my life.
Act like I hate him like Olivia is doing with Hayden.
Not letting me go, he asks, “Why have you been ignoring me Matty?”
“Because it’s too hard Tyler.” It’s that simple.
It’s too hard to look at him.
Too hard to speak to him.
Too hard to be around him when I know we can never be more than this lie we have been portraying for everyone else’s benefit.
“Why didn’t you come to Aspen?” When I don’t immediately respond, he adds, “I was waiting for you.”
He means he was waiting for our annual fuck.
I was stupid to make a suggestion like that but at the time I was desperate for some small piece of him.
My therapist has helped me realize that Tyler walks in and out of my life because I let him. “It was your decision to leave me in Italy Tyler, not mine. I’m only trying to move on from you.”
He completely ignores the mention of what happened in Italy. “But it was your idea for us to spend one night a year together.”
“A lot has changed since I said that and that’s not enough anymore, not for me.” If I’m being honest with myself, it was never enough.
He hangs his head in shame, “I’m sorry Matty. I wish things were different.”
“They could have been,” I utter quietly.
All he had to do was admit that he was in love with me and we could have spent this last year together.
He nods, understanding that our separation is completely down to him. “Are you happy at least? That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
“Yes Tyler, I’m happy,” and that’s the truth.
I love my life in Italy with Blake.
It’s not a life I ever imagined myself having but when I’m with him, all of my worries melt away.
Being back here in the States only reminds me of what I’ve lost.
What was never mine to begin with.
I fantasized for years about being with Tyler but that’s all it ever was.
A fantasy.
A dream of a little girl who hasn’t quite let go.
But I need to.
It’s time.
“Good.” Tears spring to his eyes, “I need you to be happy Matty. That makes everything worth it.”
Why does he always do this?
He puts his family’s needs first and as a result, he suffers in silence.
I’m the only one that sees straight through him.
Which is why I ask, “Are you happy Tyler?”
He waits so long to answer that I don’t think he’s going to.
His stare is unnerving.
It’s like he’s trying to tell me something with his eyes but he’s not brave enough to say it.
He opens his mouth but before any words come out, I hear a shrill voice further down the hallway. “Tyler!”
Our heads turn at the same time and I see Laura standing with her arms crossed over her chest, looking like she wants to murder someone.
Me.
She wants to murder me.
Tyler doesn’t instantly let go like I expect him too.
Eventually his hold on me eases until his arms drop to his sides and he takes a step back.
He stares at his girlfriend but doesn’t make a move to go to her.
What is he doing?
He’s only making her angrier.
“Tyler?” she questions. “Are you coming?”
He nods his head then turns back to me, “I’ll see you around Matty.” He starts to walk away from me but then turns and whispers, “Thank Blake for looking after you for me. He’s a good guy and I’m glad you found someone worthy of you.”
This time when he walks away, he doesn’t look back.
Laura is still fuming and glaring at me but he doesn’t seem to notice.
He walks past her and after a moment, she starts chasing him down the hallway.
I’m glad you found someone worthy of you.
His words take my breath away and a sob escapes me.
It was so final.
Like that’s the end of our story.
He’s with Laura and I’m with Blake.
We are both in love with other people and are happy with our lives.
At least I think Tyler is happy.
But for some reason, I don’t think that he is.
The look in his eyes and his final words haunt me as I stand outside Olivia’s room alone.
Is this truly the end of our story?
The end of us?