It was late, but he knew her mother was out.
“Hullo?”
“Lulu? It’s your papaw.”
She was silent; he imagined her little face, stricken at the sound of his voice—this was just why he hadn’t given her a cell phone with caller ID. Besides, it wasn’t like she could complain—her mom would be upset if she knew that Lucy had her own phone, hysterical if she knew who’d given it to her.
“Hullo, Papaw.”
“What are you up to, sweetie? You’re up late.”
“I’m going to bed. I just washed my face and brushed my teeth. I did my homework.”
“Good girl.” He paused. They both knew what he’d say next.
“So, Lucy…You were a little piggy today, weren’t you? I bet you stuffed your little piggy face at the trough.”
Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her. “No, Papaw. I was good.”
“Speak up when I speak to you, Lucy!” He smiled. “So, were you really good? Did you weigh yourself?”
“I lost two.”
He was quiet for a minute, then said, “Well, two pounds isn’t very much now, is it? From now on, I want you to text me with your weight every day.”
She said, “Dr. Vargas says I mustn’t weigh myself anymore. She says it’s making me sick when I do that. She said I could only leave the hospital if I promise not to weigh myself.”
“That fat sow? Of course she’d say that!”
“Mommy found the scale tonight and took it away.”
“I bet there’s one at school, though.”
She was quiet.
“There is, isn’t there, darling? Lucy, I want you to weigh yourself at school tomorrow, okay?”
Silence.
“Sweetie, when I saw you at the shelter the other day, I could tell you’d been stuffing your little piggy face again. Your thighs look like cottage cheese!” He paused, waiting. He heard the snuffles begin, smiled, and said, “Aw, sweetie. You know Mommy and I will always love you, no matter how fat you are.”
He let the sobs get wetter. “But I won’t always be here, and Mommy won’t always be here, and no one will love you if you’re a fat little sow—pretty girls are thin girls. You know that, don’t you, darling?”
There was silence, and then, in her sweet little voice, “Yes…”
“Good.” He listened to her sob a little. “Now, things are very bad between Mommy and Papaw right now. We had a fight just this morning, and Mommy ran away. And I don’t know if I want her to come back. You know how she is, Lulu? Your Mommy sometimes just can’t manage to do the right thing…”
The girl was crying freely now.
“Aw, sweetie, don’t worry—even if Mommy doesn’t come back, Papaw will look after you! Papaw loves you. Papaw will never leave you, okay, Lucy?”
Craine settled back in his armchair and smiled as she wept.
“You know what? You’re the only reason Papaw looks after Mommy. Sometimes she’s so difficult that even I can barely stand it, but I love you so much that I look after her, because that’s the only way I can look after you. But if she’s really bad, I’ll have to send you both away; I shouldn’t have to deal with that. And if I have to kick you out, that would be difficult for you. Because your mommy isn’t good at very much, you know that, don’t you? She’d have to get a job as a waitress or a maid at a motel.”
He listened to Lucy sob. “And you know what else? If I let you go, I wouldn’t pay the bills at the shelter anymore, and Mommy can’t afford it. And you know what that means?”
She snuffled, “What?”
“Well, they’ll have to kill all the dogs. Put them all to sleep. Even the little puppies…”
Lucy began to wail. Craine had pushed it too far: if she kept it up, the nanny would check and find out who she was talking to, and there’d be problems.
Time to calm her down.
“Aw, baby, don’t worry. I’ll keep looking after Mommy. But you’re going to have to be a very good girl for me. Okay? Don’t worry, my darling. Everything’s fine. Mommy will come back in a little. You’ll be a good girl for Papaw, won’t you? A very good girl?”
She sobbed yes.
“Good. I just need you to be a good girl. That’s not so hard, is it? Just behave yourself, and don’t eat like a little piggy.
“Now I want you to call me or text me with your weight tomorrow.”
Now to finish.
“Do you remember your affirmations, Lucy?”
“Yes, Papaw.”
“Let’s say them together now, okay?”
And they began, Craine murmuring softly so he could hear her voice say the words:
every time you say no thanks to food you say yes please to thin
hunger hurts but starving works
i want to be thin…