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Dear Teddy,

I know we just hung out yesterday, and that this is scandalously late notice, but what are you doing tonight? I won’t suggest going to the zoo again, but perhaps we could re-create our actions from the zoo in various locations around the city. A PG-13 tour of Columbus, if you will.

To be honest, I wouldn’t be upset if it veered into a hard-R-rated tour of Columbus, but I think that would rule out a lot of family-friendly locales.

Hopefully,

Everett

Dear Everett,

Could we ever really re-create the romantic magic of the reptile house in any other setting? It’s worth finding out. Alas, I’m having dinner at my mom’s tonight. Trust me, I’d much rather be hanging out with you, on a Columbus tour of any rating. Although the fact that I have plans might be for the best. An R-rated tour sounds like the kind of thing that could get your show canceled.

Concerned about your career,

Teddy

Dear Teddy,

You make a good point.

Enjoy dinner at your mom’s!

See you soon,

Everett