55

Everett barely heard the first knock on the door. Or the second. But by the third, he realized that the knock was real, outside of him, not in his head. And it wasn’t stopping. He stood up, sketches sliding off his lap, and walked to the door. The knocking kept going, loud and persistent.

He swung open the door and found Teddy, her fist poised to knock again.

“Hi!” he said. “What a nice surprise to see you!”

“Is it?” she asked, lips pursed. “Is it a surprise?”

This felt like a trick question, but he wasn’t sure why, so he answered, “Yes.”

“Okay, then,” she said, brushing past him and into the apartment. “In that case, I must’ve imagined that we had plans tonight.”

Everett shut the door. “We . . . Oh, no.”

“‘Oh, no’ is right,” Teddy said, turning to face him. “You were supposed to be at my mom’s house for dinner.”

“I was supposed to be at your mom’s house for dinner,” Everett said, raking his hands through his hair. “I was. Oh, shit.”

“I had to sit there as everyone stared at me and wondered where you were. Except for my sister’s husband, Craig, who was eating mac and cheese like nothing was wrong, which is a very Craig thing to do but you wouldn’t know because YOU HAVEN’T MET CRAIG!” Teddy took in a deep breath. “Oh, I don’t like this. I don’t like sounding like this or yelling at you.”

“Hey.” Everett crossed the room and put his hands on her shoulders, peering down into her face. “You’re allowed to be angry. I fucked up. I was supposed to be there, and I wasn’t, and I’m so, so sorry.”

“You are?” Teddy asked in a small voice.

“Yes, Teddy! I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. You can be as mad at me as you want. Yell at me. Break a lamp. Here.” He flexed his arm. “Punch me on the biceps.”

Teddy bit her lip. “That would hurt my hand more than it would hurt your arm.”

“You can try it,” Everett said. “I deserve it.”

Teddy sighed. “Just seeing you makes me less mad, but I was so mad, Everett. I yelled at my sister. The entire drive over here, I was coming up with all these terrible things I was going to say to you, and I’m not the kind of person who comes up with angry monologues.”

“Well.” Everett put his arm down. “Maybe you should be. It’s probably too soon for me to say this, since I haven’t even started making it up to you, but it’s kind of nice to see you angry.”

“What?”

Everett wrapped her up in his huge arms. “I like seeing your emotions. It makes me feel like I know who you are inside, you know? I don’t want to see only the put-together, sweet, pretty parts of you that the rest of the world gets to see. I want all of it, even the angry, ugly parts. Even when it’s directed at me.”

Everett could feel Teddy swallow against his chest.

“But you’re not ugly when you’re mad,” he said into her ear. “You’re actually kinda hot.”

She laughed and pulled back. “I hate you.”

“You don’t!” Everett said. “And I promise, you tell me when the next dinner at your mom’s house is, and I’ll be there with bells on. Not literally, unless you want me to wear them as a form of atonement, and in that case, bells it is.”

“Okay.” Teddy took a deep breath and nodded. “So . . . you were working?”

Everett groaned. “Yeah. The meeting in New York got bumped up, so I was trying to get ready for it and completely lost track of time. You want something to drink?”

Teddy shook her head and sat down on the sofa.

Everett sat down beside her. “It’s, like, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t turn my brain off. All I’m thinking about is if the Imagination Network is gonna like the show.”

“Wait,” Teddy said. “The Imagination Network is in New York? That’s the meeting you’re going to?”

Everett nodded.

“The Imagination Network that wants to buy your show?”

“Well, that’s the hope, anyway,” Everett said, taking a sip of the now-warm beer on his coffee table. “We’ll see what happens.”

“I didn’t know . . . I wasn’t . . . ,” Teddy started. “So the Imagination Network is in New York?”

Everett knew he was missing something, but he wasn’t sure what. “That’s correct.”

“So if they bought your show, you would . . .”

“Move to New York,” Everett completed her sentence.

Teddy’s eyes widened. “Were you planning on telling me that you’re moving to another state?”

“Hopefully moving to another state,” Everett corrected, then realized that was the wrong thing to say. “I thought you knew.”

“How could I have known that?” Teddy asked, her voice growing louder. “I’m sorry I don’t know the location of every children’s entertainment company.”

“Is that . . . a problem?” Everett asked.

“Uh, yeah, Everett,” Teddy said. “It’s almost a nine-hour drive.”

“Much shorter by plane,” he pointed out.

“Oh, my God,” Teddy said, folding herself in half so she was talking to her knees. “You missed dinner. You’re moving. All because of your job. I’ve been here before, and I know how this ends.”

“What are you talking about?” Everett asked. “And also what are you saying? Your voice is very muffled.”

Teddy sat up. “I’ve already dated one guy who treated me like garbage because all he cared about was his job and the prestige of it. And Richard dumped me, Everett, after I spent years bending over backward to help him follow his dream.”

“Hey, I have zero intentions of dumping you,” Everett said. “That’s the furthest thing from my mind, trust me.”

“How are we going to stay together if we’re in different states?” Teddy asked, dragging her hands over her face.

“We don’t have to be in different states,” Everett said slowly. “You can come with me.”

Teddy dropped her hands into her lap and sat completely still. “You think I should move to New York with you?”

“Yes!” Everett grabbed her hands and smiled. “Think about how great it would be. I’m sure we can find you a job on the show—”

“No.”

“No what?” Everett asked.

“No!” Teddy said louder, standing up. “I’m not doing that. I want to visit New York, but I mean visit. On my own terms. And I don’t want to work for you, Everett. I already told you that.”

“Okay, again, it’s not really working for me,” Everett said, standing up to face Teddy.

“And anyway, I’m taking over Colossal Toys, remember? How am I supposed to run a toy store in Columbus if I’m in New York?”

“You decided to take over?” Everett raised his eyebrows. “You never told me that was for certain.”

“Don’t sound so incredulous! Do you think I can’t own a business?”

Everett held up his hands. “Whoa. That is not what I said. I think you can do anything, Teddy. Of course you can own a business if you want to, but you didn’t sound remotely excited when you told me about it. In fact, you kinda sounded like you wanted me to talk you out of it. You’ve spent a lot of time telling me that you wanted to discover what you’re passionate about, and not once did you mention small-business ownership or vintage toys.”

“Well, maybe you don’t know me that well after all. I am just starting to get my life back. I don’t want to give it away to someone,” Teddy said.

Everett looked down at her hands, curled up into fists. “What do you mean . . . you don’t want to give it away to someone?” he asked slowly.

“I mean.” Teddy exhaled, looking everywhere in the room except Everett’s face. “I . . . I like you, Everett. I like everything about you, and I like that you care about your job and that you’re good at it. But I can’t be a sidekick to your dream. I need to find my own.”

“You will find your own!” Everett said, stepping toward her, but Teddy stepped back, finally meeting his eyes.

“Look at us already,” she said. “We’ve been together in person for, what, a few weeks?”

“Thirty-seven days since your first email, which was the moment I fell in love with you, if I’m being honest. That’s the moment I knew you were the girl for me, and I don’t need any more time to know how I feel.”

Teddy bit her lip and one treacherous tear slowly rolled down her face. “I can’t be the girl for someone else. I have to be my own girl.”

Everett shoved his hands in his pockets. He felt precariously close to tears himself. “What are you saying, Theodora?”

She winced. “I think . . . I think we want different things, Everett. It doesn’t matter how much we like each other. It isn’t going to work. What are you going to do, give up your show?”

“Do you want me to?” he asked, an edge to his voice.

“No!” Teddy practically shouted, and her voice cracked on the word. “I don’t want you to give up anything that makes you you. That’s what I like about you.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?”

“I think.” She took a deep breath. “I think you should go to New York, and you should be fabulously successful as a nationally syndicated children’s television host, and you should be happy that you get to spend all your time working at a job you love. And I should stay here in Ohio and figure out my own life by myself.”

“You think we should break up,” Everett said flatly.

“That’s another way to put it.”

“No,” Everett said. “Nope. I don’t accept this. We’re not breaking up.”

“Well, unfortunately you aren’t the only one who has a say in this,” Teddy said, a hint of steel in her voice.

And Everett, as much as he wanted to beg and plead and kiss her until she changed her mind and agreed with him—and he was sure she would do it, if only for a little while, if only until the next day—couldn’t make her doubt herself again. He couldn’t be another man who kept her from doing what she wanted.

“Okay,” he said. “But you’re wrong.”

Teddy’s brow furrowed. “About what?”

“I don’t like you, Teddy,” Everett said, taking in every detail of her face. The almost eerie wideness of her eyes. The angles of her high cheeks, slightly flushed. The way her tiny ears poked through her hair. “I’ve never liked you. I’m in love with you, and I have been since the beginning.”

Teddy shook her head as the tears on her cheeks sparkled. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m not going to stop you from doing what you want, but I’m not going to lie to you, either. I love you, Theodora Phillips. And I think you love me, too.”

Teddy smiled at him as she cried, looking like one of those thunderstorms that happened while the sun was shining. He didn’t understand how she could make him feel like this: the pure joy of seeing her mixed with the agony of knowing she was leaving.

She walked toward the door. “I have to go.”

“Teddy . . . ,” he said as she opened the door.

“Good luck at your meeting. I know they’ll love you. Everyone does.” She smiled and quietly shut the door behind her.

Everett stared at the door until he realized she wasn’t coming back. “Everyone except you,” he said to the empty room.