Chapter Eleven

That evening they sat side by side at her computer while she loaded her photographs. He looked at each picture with awe. She’d captured the intensity on Carson’s face as he’d passed a puck to Jasper Allis. She caught the determination on Perry’s face as he raised his stick to drive a slap shot towards the net. She’d found a smile on Adam’s face as he took a tumble to the ice. And lastly, she netted the shot that she’d hoped for— Derek spraying her with ice as he approached the boards.

Ryne was amazed with her talent and sat quietly as she moved from one photo to the next. She’d just hit upon Derek’s picture when he placed his hand atop hers. “Wow, you got it. I feel like the ice is coming right towards me.”

He saw a brief smile cross her lips and then be replaced with a look of sadness. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she tersely said and moved onto the next photograph.

“Come on now, Jen. What’s bothering you?” He watched the emotions play out on her face. He didn’t know if he should let it go or push her to share what was troubling her. For once, he decided to let it go. In time, he hoped she’d feel comfortable enough with him to share whatever was on her mind.

She’d moved on to the next shot. It was of him exiting the locker room. She’d caught the insecure look as he’d come through the door. At that moment he wasn’t sure where his career was going. He was in tremendous pain and just wanted to get out of the building. Then the next photo of him had the glimmer of a smile as he’d seen her and knew his day would improve.

“Outside of the shots of me, I’m impressed with your talent. You captured everything.” He watched her eyes as she examined the picture on her screen. He’d seen the briefest of smile but then it disappeared.

“Jen,” he said, reaching for her face. He turned her head so she was looking him directly in the eyes. She lowered her gaze and began fumbling with her mouse. He laid his hand atop hers, stopping her anxiousness. They sat for a moment before he added, “You can trust me.”

She began to sniffle and that’s when he noticed the tear on her face. He reached in, wiping it aside. “Honey, what’s got you so troubled?” She chewed on her lower lip, obviously contemplating what she wanted to say. “Don’t edit your words for me. Just say whatever’s on your mind.”

He knew she was struggling and then she turned and thrust herself into his arms. He held her tight against his chest as she cried, running his hand up and down her back to soothe her. His attempt at calming her didn’t work; she cried harder and harder. When he’d finally had the chance to calm her, his shirt was drenched in her tears.

She’d relaxed somewhat when she pulled away from him. He placed his hands on either side of her face and touched his forehead to hers. She took a calming breath, and then he felt her lips against his. It was the first time she’d reached out to him in that way. He sensed an immediate change in her as she smiled winsomely at him. A soft thank you escaped her lips before she pulled him towards her again, holding him close to her heart. He’d been sitting awkwardly in his chair while she held him against her body.

Out of nowhere, he groaned and reached for his side. “Are you in pain?”

He pulled away and closed his eyes, nodding his head in the process. “Just a little. I guess I was sitting a little funny in the chair.” He chewed on his lip as though he was pondering his next words. “I’m okay now— just a little twinge.”

“It had to have been more than a little with the way you groaned.”

“Sorry about that, as I said, I’m okay now.” He turned back to her computer. “I’d like to see more of your work.”

He knew by the look on her face that she was through for the day. “You’ve seen it all,” she claimed as she closed down her program. He sensed her withdrawal as she stood and moved about the room.

She was hiding something but he decided not to press her. With as close as they’d become in the last several weeks, he believed, in time, she’d share with him whatever was on her mind.

“Jen, I think I’m going to call a cab and head on home.”

“Why don’t you stay here? I have a guest bedroom.”

“I appreciate the offer…”

“What’s wrong?”

“My painkillers are back in my room and my hip is starting to call for one.”

A look of panic struck her face. “I’ll drive you.”

“Jen, hey, it’s not that bad. I want to head off the pain before it gets too bad. Don’t worry about me. It’s getting late and I don’t want you driving this time of night.” He picked up his phone, and she paced the room while he gave the cab company her address. “They’ll be here in fifteen minutes,” he said.

He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I had a really nice time today. You have fabulous talent. That photo you took of Derek? The spray of ice? All I can say is you are definitely working in the wrong profession…”

He knew he’d said the wrong thing when she pulled away with that look of pain on her face. “I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” she claimed, all the while he knew that he did. Before either of them could comment further, he heard the honk of his awaiting cab.

“That was fast,” she said as she looked out the window.

“Yeah, I don’t know what happened to fifteen minutes. It was more like fifteen seconds.” He leaned in dropping a kiss on her cheek, turned, and headed towards the door. “I’ll phone you tomorrow. Have a pleasant evening.”

With that Ryne walked out. He felt her eyes on him as he made his way to the cab. He was sore and tired and tense. He knew how to explain his first two maladies but not the third. He assumed the tension came from not knowing what had upset her. He hoped she’d open up to him soon.

As he got into the cab, he turned and discovered she hadn’t moved. She still stood in the doorway, watching him as he left. If he wasn’t mistaken, she wiped a tear from her face. Something had caused her angst, and in due time he’d uncover what it was.

When the taillights of the cab disappeared around the corner, Jennifer turned back into her house and closed the door. Leaning against it, she wiped away tears. She needed to get ahold of herself.

Listening to Ryne comment on her talent brought the memories right back up in front of her. She hadn’t thought about all the times she’d spent with her dad in the darkroom or even at his computer in a long, long time. He’d just started getting into digital photography when he was killed.

Flashbacks to their times together overwhelmed her as she fell to the floor. She could still remember the smell of the chemicals and the bright red light from the darkroom as they processed the many rolls of film and developed the multitude of photographs that hung across many of the buildings in the St. Louis area. She’d been reminded of the cityscape when she visited Ryne’s hotel. It was a time in her life that she’d buried. Just like the career she’d turned her back on… Instead, she’d found herself becoming a teacher rather than following her heart’s dream of being the photographer her father would be proud of. She sobbed at the memories.

It took her a few minutes before she was able to calm herself. She ran her hands across her face, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes. She sat on the floor, wondering what her father would expect her to do. Should she even consider what her heart was telling her?

Sitting there, she made a decision— one that she’d been hiding from for eight years now. She’d been given a chance to reclaim her dream. She’d take it and see if she still had the talent to survive. And if she did, she was going to embrace it with both hands and recover the career she’d thrown away. In the end if she didn’t make it, she had a fallback career. She had over a year to develop a portfolio before she’d have to give her decision to Johnston. One more year of teaching, and maybe she could salvage her dream and her father’s dream as well. Except this time, she’d be fulfilling it alone. Without her father beside her.