TWENTY-ONE

The credits for Peppa Pig were flashing across the TV screen when Kevin stepped into the living room. He’d remodeled the place after DeAnn left, and he glanced at her to see if she noticed how different it looked. Her focus was fixed on Sadie though, and she didn’t even look around at the new leather sofas or the nice rug on the hardwood floors.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she really was here because of all the reasons she’d stated and none of the reasons he feared. He glanced across the living room and sent a silent plea to Mallory, who stood at the kitchen island. The trepidation on her face matched that in his heart.

“Sadie, this is my friend Mrs. Blake who has come to town for a few days.”

Sadie turned sightless eyes toward him and DeAnn. “Hi, Mrs. Blake.”

DeAnn knelt on the rug by their daughter. “Hi, Sadie. You have a nice dog. What’s her name?”

“Fiona. She’s my best friend. Do you have a dog?”

“I do.” Her voice trembled. “She’s a sweet Yorkie named Scarlet. She’s not as smart as your dog though. All she likes to do is play with a ball.”

“Fiona likes to play ball too.” Sadie scooted closer to DeAnn. “You smell nice.”

“Thank you. I like the smell of your shampoo too. Like the perfect little girl.” Tears shimmered on her lashes when she glanced up at Kevin and mouthed, Thank you.

He forced himself to smile encouragingly and turned toward the kitchen. They could use a little privacy. Maybe their interactions would be more natural without him looming over DeAnn’s shoulder.

He joined Mallory, Kate, and Carol in the kitchen. “She says she’s sorry.” He pitched his voice low in hopes that it wouldn’t carry to Sadie. He motioned to the women to follow him to the back deck.

The breeze from the woods behind the house was chilly. He stood so his bulk would block the wind for the women. “I don’t quite know what to believe. She says she wants a relationship with Sadie.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Come on, Kevin, you know how selfish and self-centered she is. She’s got a reason for being here, and it has nothing to do with being a mother.”

“I’m afraid of that too. Her husband is running for the Senate, and I wonder if she intends to use Sadie to help him win.”

Kate nodded. “I knew it!”

Mallory shook her head. “I’m not so sure. She was desperate to win Sadie’s favor. You could see it in her actions and her tone. I think it’s right to give her a second chance, Kevin. I can’t even imagine life without Haylie in it. Maybe DeAnn finally figured out what she was missing.”

“She said her mom has cancer and is dying. Maybe she also wants her daughter to know her mom before she dies.”

Kate hugged herself against the chill in the air. “I’m not buying it. She has an ulterior motive. Be on your guard, Kevin.”

“I am. I told her not to tell Sadie who she is yet, and she agreed.” He reached for the doorknob. “You ladies are cold. Let’s go inside. I didn’t want to say the word mother where Sadie might hear it. That girl has hearing like a bat.”

He opened the door for the women, then followed them inside. The aroma of something savory hung in the air. “Smells good.”

“Dinner is ready, but I wasn’t sure if we should interrupt,” Mallory said.

What must she be thinking about DeAnn’s appearance? While nothing had happened between them, they both recognized the undercurrents. He wished he could tell her that seeing DeAnn had made him realize how doomed his marriage had been from the start. And rushing into a relationship with her had left Sadie without a motherly influence. Even DeAnn’s parents had stayed out of the picture. They didn’t live close, and when their daughter had left him, he hadn’t heard a word from them.

“You’re my mom?” Sadie’s voice nearly screamed out the words.

Kevin’s gut clenched, and he wheeled toward the living room. His gaze met DeAnn’s calm one, and he detected a hint of triumph in her smoky-blue eyes. In ten long strides, he was beside Sadie, who had leaped to her feet. Haylie sat on the sofa with an astonished expression.

“Daddy!” Sadie clutched his hand. “Mrs. Blake is my mom.”

He glared at DeAnn. “What did you tell her?”

“We were just talking, and she guessed.” DeAnn rose and brushed the dog hair from her slacks.

He scooped Sadie up into his arms. How did he even begin to untangle this?

She cupped her small hands around his face. “Your beard is prickly. Is it true, Daddy? Is she my mommy?”

He’d never lied to his daughter, and he wasn’t about to start now. “Yes, Sadie, she is.” His heart ached at the joy on her face. What if DeAnn hurt her? How could he protect her?

The answer was he couldn’t. There was no real joy in life without experiencing pain too. The best he could do as a father was to prepare Sadie to handle what life threw her way.

He skewered DeAnn with a glare, but she tipped her chin up and stared back at him. He saw no remorse on her face, but maybe that didn’t mean anything.

Sadie turned her face toward DeAnn. “Why did you go away, Mommy?”

That made DeAnn flinch. Surely she must have known that would be the first question Sadie asked. And how she answered it would tell him a lot. If she lied to Sadie, this experiment was over.

“I’m sorry I left. I have no good excuse. You’re a wonderful little girl, and any mommy would be proud to have you for her little girl. I hope you can forgive me.”

Sadie sagged against him, and a tear escaped the eye closest to him. “I forgive you, Mommy. Will you come see me again?”

“I will if you want me to. But only if you want me to.”

“I want you to. Can we go for ice cream sometimes?”

His throat tightened, and he wished this day had never happened. He still didn’t trust DeAnn.

Gulls swooped over the whitecaps and squawked at Julia for not sharing her lobster roll as she sat at a picnic table on the dock. The scent of lobster spilled out of the Lobster Hut, a dockside Folly Shoals eatery, and she played with the edge of the red-and-white plastic tablecloth covering the table. The yellow Windbreaker she had on protected her from the worst of the wind, but her feet were cold in the flip-flops she wore. He’d better come by the time she was done with her sandwich or she was out of here.

She felt Frank before she saw him. The bench groaned under his weight as he settled next to her, and she shot him a look. “Took you long enough.”

“I got behind a line of motor homes.” His voice, deep and gravelly, was the most attractive thing about him. Though his hair was gray, he was anything but old and weak.

“Things have escalated. She didn’t go back to Bangor after we set fire to the house. She moved in with the game warden helping her. The sheriff went to see her, too, and I bet he’s questioning whether her dad’s death was really an accident.”

His stare made her squirm a bit. “All you had to do was get her back to Bangor. That doesn’t seem all that difficult.”

“She’s from here, you idiot! She has support here. I don’t think she’s going to leave.”

“Then we’ll have to deal with it here.”

She stared into his eyes. They were dark and scary. “That’s my call, Frank. But yes, we will have to deal with it.” She wasn’t hungry anymore and threw the rest of her lobster roll to the gulls, who squawked their appreciation. “I’ll try something else. It won’t come to that.”

But who was she kidding? Mallory was showing unexpected tenacity. And Julia still didn’t know if the fire had burned up the evidence.

Mallory saw the tension in Kevin begin to ease as soon as the door shut behind DeAnn. They were side by side on the sofa with his laptop. If she tipped her head just right, she could catch a whiff of the spicy scent of his cologne.

Remember this moment. There were way too many obstacles for any kind of relationship to resurrect between them, and a time like this might never come again.

Kevin called up a website. “So, the guy’s name was Len Nevin? I don’t think I know him.”

“He wore a suit and an attitude. Nothing from your private investigator?”

“I got a text from her. She’s still looking.” He leaned forward. “Found him. He’s a loan shark.”

She leaned closer to look at the screen. “A loan shark? Could Dad have gotten the money for the boat from him?”

“It’s possible. I think we should pay him an official visit and ask him.”

“Is there any way to know if he doesn’t admit it?”

He shifted a bit on the sofa. “Not with the office fire. We might have found paperwork, but it’s all ashes now. Want to go see him tomorrow?” He shook his head. “Wait, I can’t go tomorrow until after three. I’m stuck in a car all day with my father.”

“I have to deliver mail until about two anyway so we can go after you get off. You and your father are talking?”

He closed the laptop and set it aside. “Only reluctantly on my dad’s part. We’ve been assigned to investigate the rash of rabies attacks. Our boss is getting tired of the strain our relationship is creating among the game wardens. He wants us to bury the hatchet.”

“And your dad isn’t willing.”

“About as willing as a mama bear to give up her cub. He made it clear we would only talk about work issues.”

The pathos in his voice hurt her heart. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled down at her, then reached around her with one arm and gave her a gentle squeeze. “You have the best heart of anyone I know. Dad’s reaction came at a good time, really. After seeing how he and Mom reacted, it made me stop and think about how I was treating DeAnn. I didn’t want to give her a second chance, but I get second chances all the time. From my boss, from friends, from Sadie, and from God.”

He still had his arm around her, and she didn’t want him to move away. “The more we’re hurt, the harder it is to get past it. And it’s even worse when that person has hurt someone you love.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly.” He exhaled. “I don’t know what I’ll do if she hurts Sadie.”

Mallory winced at the thought too. “Are you at all worried what will happen if she wants to take Sadie overnight on occasion?”

“I won’t allow that until I’m sure this isn’t some media stunt.”

“How will you know?”

“I think I will need to talk to her husband and see what kind of guy he is. I’ve never met him. This is the first time I’ve even spoken to DeAnn since she left.”

“How did you feel when you saw her again?” When he stiffened, she wished she hadn’t asked, but the words just slipped out. “I mean, you haven’t seen her in eight years, right? That had to be hard.”

He shrugged. “I was too worried about Sadie to process it. The only thing I felt was panic. I mean, I’m glad she’s happy, but she’s a stranger now. Maybe she always was. It seemed a lifetime ago that we were married.”

“You must have loved her.” Why was she pressing him like this? She had to know if DeAnn was the great love of his life.

“I don’t think I really did. It was one of those rebound things after you left.” His voice had gone a little husky. “And I haven’t dated since she left. Sadie and my job have taken all my time.”

Rebound things. Her shoulders relaxed and Mallory leaned her head back against his arm. When was the last time they’d cozied up on the sofa this way? She shied away from the memory. Still keeping his arm around her, he flipped on the TV and called up the guide.

“Shrek is on. Want to watch it?”

“I haven’t seen that in forever. Haylie loved it when she was a kid. She thinks she’s too grown up for it now.”

“Are you too grown up for it?” He squeezed her shoulders.

“I’ll never be too grown up for it.”

His eyes were pools of warm caramel she could drown in. “You know what I love about Shrek?” His breath whispered across her cheek and stirred her hair.

“What?” She didn’t want to move.

“Only Fiona sees Shrek for who he is inside. You were always that person for me, Mallory. You believed in me and saw what I really wanted in life when all anyone else wanted to do was tell me what I should be. You loved me for who I was. I realized that when I saw DeAnn today.”

Loved. That wasn’t even true. The way she felt about him wasn’t in the past tense. Every cell in her body vibrated when she was close to him. When she looked into his eyes, she felt she was looking at the other half of her soul. When his palm cupped her cheek, she closed her eyes and lifted her face. It had been too long since her lips had tasted his, but even as he leaned closer, she remembered that last experience vividly and pulled away.

“Do you remember the day I miscarried?”

The emotion in his eyes quickly shuttered. “Like it was yesterday.”

Memories flooded her mind: the smell of the sea with the storm coming, the wind whipping her hair.

Gone. Mallory fingered her still-swollen belly. How could their baby be gone, just like that? All their dreams were rubble around them. Her mom and everyone else assured her there would be a baby next time. But she’d wanted this baby.

Kevin’s boat roared through the waves toward Folly Shoals with its headlamp probing the darkness. He’d been with her through it all. Holding her hand, wiping her tears, whispering his love.

He reached across the boat and gripped her hand in his. “You okay?”

Hot tears welled again, and she wanted to wail her pain. “I’ll be fine. Your parents will be happy.” An edge of bitterness laced her words.

The reflection of the light from the dashboard illuminated his set face. “What are you saying? That you don’t want to get married now?”

“There’s no real reason to get married right away. You could go to med school if you wanted.”

Why was she prodding him like this? Hadn’t he already proven his love today as they faced this storm together?

He released her hand and turned the boat toward the dock at Breakwater Cottage. Her parents had gone ahead by a few minutes, and they’d be waiting inside. She wanted to run to her room and pull the covers over her face. Maybe when she woke up tomorrow, this would all be a bad dream.

“I could work a little longer, get enough money for a down payment on a house.”

She turned her head and stared at him. Was he seriously considering delaying their marriage in two weeks? “I could work too.” How did she manage to get it out with a hitch in her voice?

“We could get married next summer, and I could do right by you. I was worried about being gone from you and the baby so much as I get started with the Park Service. I could be past the worst of it by the time we got married.”

The dock was fast approaching even as her heart splintered inside her chest. She’d lost the baby, and now she was losing Kevin.

She blinked, and the past vanished in the pain of the present day. “You were all too ready to put off our wedding.”

He sat with his arm still along the back of the sofa even though she was a foot away now. “You suggested it, and I just wanted to do what made you happy.”

“What I wanted was for you to hold me and tell me you’d never leave me. Instead, you were fine with postponing it once the baby was gone.” Her words were tight and low. Until this moment, she hadn’t examined what emotions had sent her running from Folly Shoals.

“Mallory, I’m not a mind reader. I was reeling, just like you. From a logical standpoint, we could afford to enter marriage more prepared. I’ve regretted that night all too often and have wondered what you would have said if I’d taken you straight to the church and had our pastor marry us.”

She would have said yes. Clamping her teeth against the admission, she rose from the sofa. “It’s too late now, Kevin. Much, much too late.”