Will never wanted to let Rose go so he was damn happy that she seemed to cling to him during the ride back. But he wasn’t happy about the shadows in her eyes and the swollen eye where she said Lysle had punched her.
What kind of bloody bastard punched a woman?
She was reticent to discuss what had happened during her time with Lysle even though Will and her father had a very good idea through their discussion with the inn’s proprietor. But there was more. Will knew there was more and he wanted to hear the whole story but Rose remained silent.
She slept fitfully that first night, curled into his body. He’d been surprised when she defied her brothers and her father and pressed up next to him. But neither Thom, John nor Ewan said a word the next morning. They were kind to her but kept to themselves, apparently sensing now was not the time to be the pesky brothers they were used to being.
One thing was very clear, though. All the Turner men were proud of their sister for fighting back and for killing Lysle.
Only Will wondered what toll it took on her spirit.
They reached the homestead the afternoon of the second day to find Rhona waiting for them in the yard. She looked at Rose carefully, taking in the swollen eye, the bruised cheek, the careful way Rose walked. Her gaze strayed to Thom and some sort of silent communication passed between them.
Rhona held her arms out to her daughter, and Rose went into them and cried while Rhona patted her back and whispered in her ear. Eventually she took Rose up to the living quarters. Will did not want to see Rose go, was uncomfortable having her out of his sight, but this was her family and he was the outsider.
He had accomplished what he had set out to accomplish and that was to save Rose. Because of that he could not return to Holyrood palace. There would be too many questions, too many raised eyebrows, whispered rumors.
It was time he returned to England to report back to Elizabeth.
But first he wanted to make certain that Rose would be safe here.
Damn it. He loved her and there was nothing he could do about that but keep loving her even as he walked away from her.
“She’ll be fine with Rhona,” Thom said as he walked his horse past Will who was still standing in the middle of the yard looking up at the door that Rose had passed through.
John and Ewan led the newly acquired horses past him, both keeping their eyes diverted.
Will caught up to Thom. “Thank you for letting me help save Rose,” he said.
Thom looked at him in surprise. “If it weren’t for you we would have never known she was in trouble. Thank you for coming for us.”
Will watered Tyche and gave him a large bucket of oats for a job well done.
“I should be leaving,” he said as he watched his horse hungrily dive into the oats.
When Thom didn’t answer Will looked over to find the older man considering him with a studied expression.
“I’d thought you would fight harder.”
Will’s brows drew down in confusion. Fight harder? He thought he’d performed admirably when they attacked the guards.
“For her,” Thom said. “I’d thought you’d fight harder for her.”
His shoulders slumped. “What is there to fight for? In my career it’s damn near impossible to have a wife and family and Rose deserves nothing less than that.”
Thom studied him for a bit longer then turned on his heel to head out of the lower level of the house. “Follow me.”
Will followed Thom up the ladder to the upper level where they entered into the kitchen. Rose was nowhere to be found but that didn’t stop Will from looking into the shadowed corners for her and it didn’t stop his heart from thumping in disappointment.
Rhona was bustling about the kitchen and Thom sat on a long, wooden bench at the table just as Rhona put a mug in front of him.
A hound dog came from a back room and plopped down at Thom’s feet. Will wondered if this was the Penelope that Rose spoke of.
“Supper will be soon,” Rhona said.
“Sit down,” Thom said and then took a large swallow of his drink.
Will sat, strangely relieved that the decision to leave had been taken out of his hands.
Rhona put bowls of steaming stew in front of them. Will realized that he’d not had anything substantial to eat in days, probably since learning of Rose’s disappearance.
“Rose is getting cleaned up,” Rhona said. She put a mug of mulled wine in front of Will, who drank greedily. Strangely he felt comfortable here in this reivers’ home. They were good people. Maybe not always law-abiding but they were honest people. He liked them.
He scooped up a large helping of stew and tucked into it. He was halfway through when Rose entered.
Her hair was wet, making it a dark amber color that hung in wet hanks down her back and over her shoulders. Her face was shiny clean, emphasizing the bruise that was turning a nasty purple. She smiled at him as she took the seat next to her father and across from Will.
She was wearing an old gown, mellowed with age, soft and flowing around her. She looked young and fresh. Far younger than what she really was and not at all the woman he’d met at court.
He liked this version of Rose Turner.
Thom pushed his plate away and studied his daughter for a moment.
“The immediate threat is over,” he said to everyone in the room. “But Rose is still not safe.”
Rose’s head jerked up and she looked at her father with a frown.
“She still knows about the murder plot,” Will said.
Thom nodded. “The queen will not rest if she knows that Rose could potentially implicate her.” Thom turned to Will. “My hope is that everyone will think she died in the carriage with the others but we can’t count on that. We need to get Rose to safety.”
“Da,” Rose said. “I’ll be fine here. The house is impenetrable.”
“You will hide here the rest of your life? You’ll stay up here and never go outside again?”
“Well, no, but…”
Will could see the truth begin to seep into her and for a moment she looked panicked at the thought of being stuck up here forever, never to go outside, never to tend to her animals or walk in the sun.
“We can’t keep you safe forever,” Thom said softly. “But Will can.”
Rose’s green eyes searched out Will’s. With sudden clarity Will understood Thom’s motives.
Will cleared his throat, but he had no idea what he wanted to say. He would very much like to keep Rose with him forever. He wanted nothing more, but he’d told Thom that his life was not conducive to marriage and a family and what the hell did he know about loving someone? He’d probably be horrible at it.
“Take her to England with you,” Thom said. “It is where you are from, and you told me you were returning there shortly.”
“True, but…” He looked at Rose and she was looking between her father and Will, confused and frightened and he could see a growing anger in her heightened color. “But we need to ask Rose what she wants,” he said.
Thom made a noise that Will took to mean that Rose did not have a choice but Will believed that Rose should have a choice. This was her life, her decision.
“I’m not leaving Scotland,” she said. “Especially not to live in England. No offense.” She nodded to Will.
“You can’t live in Scotland anymore, Rose.” Thom’s tone was practical but broached no argument.
Rose slapped the table and stood, her face flushed. “I can bloody well do what I please. I’m not leaving you or Ma to go live in a foreign country.”
Will had to suppress his smile. England was but a few miles from their home and not so different from where they lived in Scotland. He would gather that Holyrood palace and Edinburgh had been much more foreign to Rose than England would be.
“I can’t promise that we can keep you safe. We’re not always here. We have our…” Thom looked sidelong at Will. “We are gone for long periods. You know this, Rose. You can’t hide up here. You have to go to England and live your life there.”
“No.” She shook her head but her voice wavered and her eyes filled with tears that she quickly blinked away.
Will stood, drawing everyone’s attention. “May I speak to Rose alone?” he asked.
Thom hesitated, and it seemed to Will that he was ready to keep arguing but arguing would not solve this problem.
“Go,” Rhona said, making the decision for Thom. “Both of you go have a long walk.”
Rose looked at her father, then her mother and finally at Will. Her shoulders slumped and she followed Will out of the house and down the ladder.
“You lead,” Will said when they were on solid ground. “I don’t know this area well.”
She started walking and Will followed. When they were out of sight of the house he was surprised to feel Rose’s hand in his. They twined their fingers together, and she led him to a rocky stream, the clear water bubbling around the sharp rocks. Ice formed at the edges but it was not a cold day. The sun was warm and the breeze chilled, but not cold. Spring seemed to be in the air even if it was December.
She led him to a large boulder and he followed as she clambered up it and sat with her knees pulled to her chin and her skirts tucked tightly beneath her.
Will remained quiet, knowing she needed this time to think. So much had happened to her in the last few days but in truth her life had been turned upside down when her mother had forced her to go to Holyrood.
“I feel like they are trying to get rid of me,” she said softly, her eyes glued to the stream.
“They’re worried about you,” Will said. “Your father is right. If the queen realizes you are alive she will come for you. If not her, then Moray or Maitland. Did I tell you that I figured out who the other conspirator is?”
She shook her head.
“Bothwell.”
Her head jerked around and she looked at him with wide eyes, the enormity of that sinking in.
“He is not an enemy you want,” Will said. “If he finds out that you are still in Scotland he will come in search of you. Right now he is in charge of making the borders secure and finding a balance with the border clans. But if he wants to make your family’s life hell he can do it.”
Rose looked back at the stream. “I know nothing about England. I have no desire to live in England. I know no one there.”
“You know me,” Will ventured, his breath held.
She turned her head so she could look at him and rested her good cheek on her knees. “You don’t want me in England with you. You like being alone. You told me so. You’ll take me to England and leave me there.”
Will took a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing the time for truth was now. “There is something I’ve never told you about me, Rose. Something important.” He paused to gather his thoughts and search for his words. He’d never told anyone this. For the entirety of his career he’d played his part in whatever mission he was on and walked away when he was finished. He’d never revealed to anyone outside of Elizabeth’s ring of spies who he was and what he did. Except for Thom, of course. What was it with this family that inspired confidences and truths?
“You’re married,” she said, her voice flat.
“What?” He barked out a laugh. “No. Of course not.”
Her shoulders seemed to droop and she ventured a small smile. “Then nothing can be that bad.”
“I’m a spy for England. I work for Queen Elizabeth, and I was sent to Holyrood to spy on Mary.” He said it quickly, getting it out as fast as he could.
For a long moment she simply stared at him, and then slowly she raised her head. “You’re not an old friend of Darnley’s?”
He was surprised that was her first question. “It is true that I went to school with Darnley. Elizabeth used that connection to send me to Holyrood. It worked well.”
“I could never figure out why you kept with the friendship when it was obvious to me that you didn’t like him much,” she said. “Now I know.”
“You don’t seem shocked.”
“I think I am but I need to process it.”
He let her do just that while he contemplated the stream and felt the tension slip away from him. It was nice, someone else knowing his secrets. Tristan knew and LaGrange and Simon, but he never spent much time with them because of the danger involved. It seemed right that Rose knew.
She stretched out her legs in front of her and wiggled her toes in her worn boots.
“The night we listened to Lysle and Maitland and the others in their secret room, you had known for a while about the conspiracy?”
“I had heard things and I knew who the major conspirators were. It was a matter of following them, finding where they were meeting and listening.”
“And then I came along and ruined things,” she said flatly.
He so desperately wanted to touch her, to reassure her, to reassure himself, but he stayed his hand and draped his arm atop an upraised knee.
“You complicated things, but didn’t ruin them.”
“I was a complication?”
“I knew that you could be in danger. And I knew I had to protect you as best I could. It wasn’t your fault what you overheard but I felt an obligation to watch over you.”
“So you wanted to protect me?”
“Yes.”
“That must have seemed like a burden.”
“An obligation, but then I got to know you and it wasn’t an obligation at all but a pleasure.”
She studied him, her brows drawn together. “What about…I mean…” Her face turned a vicious shade of pink and she looked down at the boulder, unable to meet his gaze. “What we did?” she whispered as if someone could overhear them.
Will bit back his smile. “What we did was a personal decision between us. It had nothing to do with my mission.” He hesitated to say what he really wanted to say but plunged ahead anyway. “I spoke to a friend of mine, another…person like me. He said to walk away from you, that there are always casualties in a situation like this. But I couldn’t do it. You meant too much to me, even then.”
She narrowed her eyes at him as if she could read his mind. “Truly?”
“Truly.”
“This friend of yours. That wasn’t very nice to say but I understand. Your country must come first.”
“Usually. But this time I couldn’t put England first. You were an innocent and that didn’t seem right.” Maybe he was losing his edge. Maybe it was time to retire and live a life of ease. The thought frightened him, but at the same time appealed to him.
“Well, I thank you,” she said softly.
The sun was behind her, setting her hair aflame. She looked ethereal, like an angel, and he couldn’t stop staring at her.
She entranced him and he was glad he’d ignored Tristan’s advice, and decided to protect her.
Acting on impulse he leaned forward and kissed her, a light kiss upon the lips. Nothing forceful because he knew she was feeling vulnerable and she was hurt. He didn’t know where else Lysle had hurt her so he was careful.
She smiled and leaned forward, taking his face between her hands and kissing him much harder than he’d kissed her. He’d taught her a lot sexually but she also taught him a lot too and he couldn’t imagine kissing anyone else again.
When they pulled apart she giggled.
“What was that for?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I know no other way to express my gratitude. You didn’t have to take me under your wing at the palace, and you certainly didn’t have to go chasing after me when Lysle took me. I’m glad you did though.”
“Even though you now have to leave Scotland?”
Her smile faded and she turned to look at the stream. “I haven’t decided about that.”
Will only saw one choice but he was going to let her make the decision. It was her life, and she would have to live with the consequences.
“Is that why you said you would never marry?” she asked. “Because you’re a spy?”
“My life does not lend itself to having a wife or a family.”
“Nonsense.”
He looked at her in surprise. “Pardon me?”
“I don’t know much about being a spy,” she said. “But you’re using that excuse to never marry because your family life was so horrible.”
“It was not horrible—”
“It was horrible. Your parents were horrible for leaving you like that. You don’t want a wife because you don’t know how to be a husband.”
“I don’t want a wife because it would impede my career.” But he didn’t sound convincing even to himself. He always thought being a spy leant itself to his personality. He preferred being alone. He liked it. He could move on when he wanted, stay if he wanted. He could take assignments sporadically or back to back. He had no one to impede him. No one to question him except his superiors.
It had been a wonderful life. Or so he’d thought.
She narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head. “I’m not going to England with you.”
He pushed the disappointment away and thought logically. He was good at thinking logically and methodically, and if he ever needed that talent it was now.
“I can keep you safe there.”
“How?” she asked, her tone defiant, her chin lifted. “How can you keep me any safer there than my family can here?”
“Your family won’t be punished by Bothwell because they won’t know where you are. You can’t be hunted in England. Mary would never come after you there because she wants to stay in Elizabeth’s good graces. The batty woman still thinks she can have the English crown as well as the Scottish crown.”
“And what will you do with me? Keep me at your estate like your parents did to you? I don’t think so. Or were you planning on putting me up somewhere and forgetting about me? Were you planning to take me over the border and leave me?”
He could hear the real fear in her voice. Scotland was her life. It was in her blood. It was all she knew, and she was terrified to leave it even though she knew that staying would put her family in jeopardy.
“Marry me,” he said, surprising them both. But once he said it he knew it was what he wanted. It was what he dreamed of when he allowed himself to think about the one thing he truly wanted in life. But he’d convinced himself that he could never have marriage to anyone, let alone Rose.
“What?” she whispered.
“Rose, will you be my wife?” he asked.
Her face was a mixture of shock and hope.
“Please tell me you’re not jesting,” she whispered. “Please tell me this is what you truly want and you’re not doing this just so I’ll go to England for my safety. Because I will not go and be ignored by you, Will Sheffield.”
“I’m not jesting. I truly want this. And I could never ignore you. I love you, Rose. I’ve known for a long time that I’ve loved you but I wouldn’t let myself acknowledge that love. When I discovered you had disappeared I thought it was because you regretted making love to me, and I felt so bereft, so much more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life. I realized then that I could never willingly walk away from you. I love you, Rose Turner.”
“Oh, Will.” She blinked her tears away. “What will Queen Elizabeth say?”
“I don’t care what Queen Elizabeth says.”
“You will give it all away for me?” she whispered.
“I’m giving nothing away. I’m walking away from it for you. For us. For the children we might someday have. I don’t know how to be a husband and I surely don’t know how to be a father. Will you teach me, Rose?”
Will held his breath, refusing to believe that he’d come this far, revealed this much, to lose her now.
“We’ll teach each other,” she said. “And we’ll learn together.”
He blew out his breath and smiled. “I have money. And a home. And a title.”
She shook her head, laughing. “Don’t you know that none of that matters to me?”
“I have stables and I’ll find you all kinds of animals to take care of and you can roam the countryside whenever you wish and you’ll never have to do your hair in those fancy styles again or stitch tedious scenes on fabric.”
She kissed him, quick and light. “Now that’s the way to my heart. Yes, I will marry you, Will Sheffield.”
They laughed and they kissed, sitting there on a rock in the middle of a Scottish stream with the sun beating down on them. And Will knew with certainty that with Rose at his side that he would never be lonely or alone again. He could learn to love and she would teach him to be the best husband ever.