Dani stared at three different pairs of shoes as she stood in her graduation robe. The stylist part of her brain said heels, at least four inches. That way she could open her robe and still be on point. The practical part of the brain said chucks all the way. Barefooted and she could bring the heels for the party afterward. Then there were the sandals with just a little heel, but it was open-toed and she needed a good pedicure to pull that look off.
It was three days before graduation and their backyard was being mapped out by her mother at the moment with the rental place. Dani watched her from her bedroom window as her mother pointed out areas for the woman to mark on her clipboard.
“There’s talk of a fountain, live statues and swans,” her sister’s voice broke Dani out of her trance. Tawny Albright had gone the hippie route after college. Made sense since she’d smoked enough weed to satisfy a Grateful Dead concert. She stood in a long peasant skirt with a flowered pattern and lace. The turquois cami might have a shelf bra, but her sister needed more than a shelf. She needed a structured plan. At least her long honey-blond hair was being worn down and draped over her breasts.
“They’re leftover from your cancelled bridal shower. I’m sure she had a nonrefundable deposit.” Dani fell into her sister’s arms for a hug and could smell the mix of patchouli with just a hint of the herb. Pulling free she looked at her. “Why are you here so early?”
“If you could believe it, I missed the old place.”
“No, I can’t.”
Her sister gave her a smile, then kissed Dani on her forehead before flopping back on Dani’s bed. “Well, I did and I was worried about you.”
“Me? Why?”
“It’s been at least three days and you haven’t been on the Down and Dirty?”
“Since when do you subscribe to the evils of technology?”
“Hippies created Silicon Valley.” Her sister smiled broadly. “I’m more interested in my saintly sister gettin’ down and dirty with a Grizzly.”
“It was an experience, but you know baggage can be heavy sometimes.”
“His was too much for you?”
“No, but I’m pretty sure Dad played nice when Mom was around. When she was gone, he spoke to him when we got back from a walk of the grounds.”
“You walked the grounds?” her sister asked with air quotes. “And how is the guest cottage Mom never got to?”
“In need of repair, but that’s not the point,” Dani said as heat erupted across her face.
“My sister getting nasty in her old age.”
“I’m not the one hitting thirty with a trail of broken engagements.”
“I don’t need you or Mom’s biological I-need-a-grandkid-clock to point that out, thank you very much.”
“Grandkids? Ha,” Dani laughed. “And I’m still trying to figure out what to do after graduation.”
“Have you not had almost two weeks to figure that out?”
“I have offers, but I’ve been thinking about being a life coach.”
“What do you know about life?”
“There’s more to life than communing with nature.”
“And you’ve just lost me as a client.” Dani scoffed at her sister and went back to her shoe choice. “Tell me about the Speed Demon of Love.”
“What’s to say, we dated a few times. I thought I meant more to him than I did.”
“Was he at least good in bed?”
“How’s your latest man in bed?”
“Exs are allowed to be discussed,” Tawny said, then wiggled her eyebrows. “Unless he’s not an ex.”
“He wasn’t a…” Dani stumbled to find the words. “He wasn’t an anything.”
“That’s not what those pictures from the boat looked like.”
“And when you were the stone cold sober designated driver and a photographer caught you mid blink so you looked high as hell, was that the truth?”
Tawny held her index finger and thumb apart about an inch. “Smidge of difference. I didn’t have my tongue halfway down a joint like you did his mouth.”
“Now you’re just making it sound dirty.” Dani warmed at the memory of the boat. The feel of the waves rocking them as Rome explored between her thighs.
“I’m not the one imitating a lobster,” her sister teased. “Blush much?”
“Fine, the sex was amazing, mind blowing, toe curling, make a girl break childhood mementos lost in an orgasm type sex.”
“Not my dancing girl?” her sister whined about one of many treasures they’d tucked away in the cottage because it reminded them of their real home in South Shore.
“No, my Grizzly’s piggy bank from the first game I ever went to.” Dani let out a sigh. “At least I ended up finding three dollars and forty-seven cents.”
“You were able to count it? I now doubt the intensity of that orgasm.”
“Doubt all you want,” Dani challenged. “It’s been almost two weeks and if he walked through that door right now I’d clench so hard a safe cracker couldn’t get in.”
“And why aren’t you with him?”
“I texted, I called, I even showed up on his doorstep and I was ignored, sent to voicemail and dismissed by his ex at the door.”
“His ex?” her sister asked as she pulled up her phone and started typing then flashed a picture of Candace being brought out on a gurney with police officers escorting her. “This ex.”
“That’s her.” Dani took the phone and started swiping down. “What happened?”
“I read she was committed to a psych ward. And you let her tell you something. Bitch is crazy.”
“Well he’s with her. Maybe he likes crazy.”
Rome sat across from Candace in the dayroom at Harvest Pines Psychiatric Facility. The room had been cleared and a councilor sat in a chair to Rome’s left. This was the first time he’d been allowed to see her. She was the mother of his child and as much as he wanted to dismiss her as an ex-girlfriend, they had a bond that would lock them together until the end of his life.
“Candace has made great improvements over the last week,” Dr. Millstone explained as he put on his half rimmed glasses.
“I don’t like those,” Candace said as if she were being passed a snake.
“We’ve discussed this, Candace. I require these to read and there will be others in your life that do the same.” Dr. Millstone kept his voice calm and understanding with just a hint of authority. “You want to live in the world, you’ll have to start coming to grips with things that upset you. Remember your coping drills. You don’t want to go back on Geodon do you?”
Rome stayed silent as Candace touched each of her fingers with her thumb as if she were doing a concussion test. Coach Marshall had been understanding when Rome asked for a little bit of time to process and deal with the situation. It was Dani he prayed would forgive him. Her calls and texts stopped on Saturday. He feared it wasn’t a coincidence that was the same night he’d committed Candace.
“She seems worse than when we admitted her,” Rome said. “She was functioning in society. Are you sure she isn’t better off her meds?”
“We sent someone out to the home she had been living in. The walls were covered with images of you, Danika Albright—”
“Whore bitch,” Candace snapped and Dr. Millstone put his hand up to silence her. “No, she stole him. Bought him I bet. Rich people do that. Like the football team. Traded him like livestock only he’s not. He’s mine. I paid for him. I have a receipt.”
“Candace, Rome’s here,” Dr. Millstone said.
Candace looked over at Rome and then smoothed her hair and straightened her shirt. “Hey,” she meekly said as she smiled. “Any chance we can work this out? I don’t like this place.”
“Candi,” Rome said and she seemed to melt into the chair.
“Remember—” she exclaimed. “Remember when I brought DeMonte to see you? He had such a good time. He’s a great kid. It doesn’t matter where we are he’s happy.”
“I see that.”
“But I can’t bring him to you when I’m here,” she stated plainly.
“Where’s DeMonte?” Dr. Millstone asked. “Candace, do you know where he’s staying. We’ve discussed it.”
“I can’t let Rome know,” she said, leaning in close to the doctor. “If I let him know he won’t need me. He needs to need me.”
“Candace, it’s time to go back to your room.” Dr. Millstone motioned for an orderly to escort her out.
“As you can see, we’re still balancing her out. Evenings are hard. She’s less violent than when we first brought her in. It’s going to take longer than we thought. I’m going to ask that you not come by for at least a month.”
“A month?” Rome asked, annoyed by the conflicts in his life taking over. Life was supposed to be simple. “I’ll pay for her, support her any way you can, but I need to know she’s well enough so I can move forward with my life. For DeMonte too. He should be starting pre-K in the fall. I need to get things in order for that.”
“This disease doesn’t have a set pattern. I can’t predict how she’ll react to drugs. This is an illness. She’s not hearing voices like some of our patients, but socially she doesn’t read people correctly. The paranoia is there. I’m going to recommend she stay in a group home for at least a year when she leaves here. Then maybe she’ll be able to get into her own apartment. That isn’t going to guarantee she won’t go off the cocktail we figure out.”
“How did I miss it?” Rome asked. Sure he hadn’t really seen her since she’d walked out on him, but her being moody before he would have never thought was this serious of an illness.
“When we did the intake history with her mother it seems she had her first break around twenty-two,” Dr. Millstone began. “At the time they treated her more for bi-polar depression, but when she got pregnant with DeMonte she went off the meds. Then she went into hyper mama bear mode. To her, DeMonte was a blessing and curse. Son of a superstar with expectations she had to make sure he filled. I’m surprised she even went to the hospital to have him. When social workers intervened she fled, sure they were trying to steal him for his talent.”
“So that’s why she left me.” Rome wanted to punch himself for assuming she’d just been a money grubbing gold digger, instead of being a scared woman thinking everyone was after her child. Then he blamed himself, how many times had he talked to her about the scouts out for themselves who stalked him and his mother.
Dr. Millstone flipped a few pages back in her chart. “Candace wasn’t assigned a social worker like most with schizophrenia do, especially one with a child. She now has one, but she kept moving around to avoid being medicated and losing DeMonte in the foster care system.”
“Right now there’s no indication she harmed DeMonte, but the thought that boy might be ignored or passed off to someone because she’s having a manic episode…” Rome brought his hands together in prayer. In a few days, DeMonte had become his whole life. Each day he woke up secure in the fact he’d be going to bed that night in the same spot. The child was coming out of his shell and talking more. Rome had flown his mother up to help with him, but like Candace’s mother, it wasn’t a long term solution. “As much as I want him to know his mother, I never want to put him in danger.”
“All I can recommend to the courts is supervised visitation. She can’t be alone with him and never in a place where she can walk out a door.” Dr. Millstone noted on the chart. “I’ll send the documentation and records to your attorney. Have you thought about the costs?”
“Costs? She has medical assistance right?”
“She does…as well as her social worker is getting her started on disability through Medicare but, Mr. Speed, this is a for profit facility. We explained that to your attorney.”
“You don’t take her insurance.”
“Legally we do, but it’s not our policy because we have costs above and beyond what those insurances cover.”
“Bill me, unless I don’t want to know how much it is.”
“It’s a significant cost. Especially with the extended time we need to house her.”
“Are you kicking her out?” Rome asked defensively? “Because I have money.”
“I’m aware, but you might want to apply for private insurance or…” Mr. Millstone took off his glasses and folded them neatly. “You say you’re going to be there for this woman. For your son. Have you put him on the insurance you get through the Grizzlies?”
“Yes, but the only way I could put Candace on is to marry her.”
Dr. Millstone shrugged his shoulders. “Is that an option?”
“No, I’m not marrying her. Are you believing her delusions now?”
“It’s not going to be easy having her in your life. She’ll be melting down and you’re on her emergency call list.” Setting the chart down on the chair next to him, Dr. Millstone gave Rome a hard look. “The last thing I want for Candace is to be abandoned into the system, but I doubt you’ll have a future if you’re locked into her.”
“You just suggested I marry her.”
“There’s a choice to be made. You can only help so much. This won’t be her last time inpatient. Put money aside if you’re not going to get her on a better plan or expect to have her taken to county facilities in the future.”
“Are you saying you won’t accept her?” Rome questioned.
“I’m saying, the next time she breaks down, wherever that may be, if they see two government insurance cards on her, she’s going straight to a county facility.”
Rome wanted everything settled in time for Dani’s dinner party. He wanted to be there for graduation. She would be making a step out into the world and Rome needed to offer himself and his son to be there on that journey. Only the best way he knew to figure it out was with her. They needed to talk. He needed to know what she thought of the situation so he could determine if he was giving up too much.
First goal as a life coach, ban all graduations or at least advise people to celebrate on their own. Who needed inspirational speeches from heads of business? Better yet, don’t graduate from business school. Van Denordy told Dani he’d been asked to give the speech for the liberal arts college graduation. As usual, he put it off until the last minute and she’d ended up helping him with it over drinks a few nights before. And in conclusion, you’ve just wasted the cost of a house on a piece of paper all to say I didn’t sleep through all my classes. Maybe she should have taken out the wasted part, she told him to, didn’t she? It got a little blurry at one point. Thankfully they’d been drinking on the back patio as they watched the tent go up.
Half the people around her were on their phones hitting up social media. Dani adjusted her sunglasses and prayed she’d put on enough sunscreen for the outdoor ceremony. Ryan Field could hold thousands, but the graduation was done in waves. If not, people would probably pass out. Still, the stadium looked packed. Insanity.
Don’t slouch, a text vibrated Dani’s phone from her mother. She turned and looked in the massive stadium and wondered how the woman could pick her out in the middle of a thousand purple graduation caps. Finally, the president of the college stepped up and she could get her degree.
“Danika Margaret Albright, Masters in Business, Summa Cum Laude…” Cheers came from the lower left side bleachers and Danika shook hands, moved her tassel from right to left, and waved to where the eruption of cheers had come from. Finally able to step down, she went back into the anonymous snaking line of graduates until she could make her way back to her seat. Although she wanted to toss her cap, she knew better. Her mother had a trophy room and at some point this would be shadow boxed and hung on a wall.
Now the hard part, milling around on the field she didn’t know and if it would be better to go toward where she thought her family was. Or stand still and wait to be discovered?
“Danika,” the deep voice of Jerome Speed caught her as she turned sharply and saw him standing with a bouquet of flowers and a card. Her stomach flipped, unsure if she was ready for the reunion. Two weeks of silence had made her bitter. “Congrats. Summa, that’s big.”
Thousands of people were around them, but all Dani saw was Rome with a French blue button down with his sleeves rolled up. She could make out the dark tattoos on his arm. The noise from the crowd switched to a rushing noise like she had conch shells to her ears.
“I know it’s hot, but a suit coat is customary,” she said and he stepped closer to her. “Ramona should have advised a linen suit. Humidity in Chicago can be killer.”
“Guess I need a stylist.” He smiled. “My mom picked this out.”
“Your mom?” she laughed a bit and took a step toward him. A few more and she could fall into his arms, but she wasn’t ready to forgive yet. He couldn’t just show up on a random Saturday and expect her to have time for him.
“I’m not the one in purple poly-blends.”
“Touché.” Dani let out a light laugh and fluffed her graduation gown.
“Birdie,” her father barked as he found his way in between her and Rome. “I’ll ask you to leave.”
“I was talking to Dani,” Rome said, stepping around her father.
“Not here. There are cameras everywhere.”
“I don’t care,” Rome protested, practically shoving the flowers in her hands, but her father batted them away.
“That’s obvious,” her father said and locked his arm around her upper arm to drag her from the stadium.
Dani looked back at Rome as he stood with the flowers pointing to the ground. All she could do was mouth the words I’m sorry before her father had her around a corner.
“Dad,” she said as she started grasping what was happening. “Dad, stop.”
“I’m not going to let him pull you into that mess of his life.”
“Bill,” her mother gasped, finally catching up to him. “My goodness. What happened? One second you were there, then poof.”
“Rome showed up,” Dani said. “And, Dad, I don’t even know…what was that? I’m not sixteen going to the prom with a Hell’s Angel.”
“He’s not right for you.”
“Why?” Dani cried. “What has he done to me? Nothing.”
“The circles he runs in—”
“Ran, and he didn’t even run in them. He prefers being at home. I’m the one who dragged him out.”
“That’s why he has had two dozen paternity cases in the past few years,” he bit back and Dani’s stomach tightened.
“Like I’m some virgin. Geez, Dad.” Not the right thing to say. That was immediately evident as her father’s face was the perfect reflection of a nuclear explosion.
“He can have all the good intentions in the world, but he’s made bad choices and they aren’t wearing white after Labor Day. They’re permanent.”
“At least he wasn’t afraid,” Dani challenged, losing a bit of respect for her father. “He took a chance and went more than fifty miles from home. When have you stepped out of Chicago and don’t say camping. That was Mom.”
“Chicago has everything I need.”
“You’re a billionaire, who if it weren’t for Mom, you’d be in a basement somewhere pissing into milk jugs.”
“That’s not true. I just don’t see a need to spend money like it’s a sport.”
“What do you think is going to happen?” Dani asked, choking back the burn of acid in her throat. “Even if you never made another trade or built a new business financially we’d be fine. Take a damn vacation. Chill out. Give the damn Malibu to charity.”
“Hallelujah,” her mother praised, then realized it was out loud and turned around shoving Tawny and Jericho away from the show.
“Look at you, speaking to me this way.”
“Well someone needs to and everyone else is too damn afraid. I’m not afraid. You made me not afraid. I did this on my own,” she howled. “The only reason why I haven’t moved out is because I’ve been afraid of disappointing you. But I refuse to live in a box no matter how pretty it is.”
Dani turned and took off back into the stadium. The bright sunlight hit her as she came out of the tunnel and looked for Rome, but he was gone. Her mother called for her but she held her hand up behind her. This wasn’t what she wanted, but it was time she grew up.
Rome sat in his SUV with his elbow resting on his armrest, his thumb under his chin and his index finger against his lips. Beside him, the flowers lay dormant in the passenger seat. He wasn’t at a stoplight waiting for traffic to move. Parked at the North Avenue Beach he watched as families played, building sand castles and enjoying the day. His life afforded him the same pleasures. Sure he had times when he was in lockdown and had to stay at facilities away from his family, but this was the first year it mattered. DeMonte had been pawned off so many times and now, just as he’d found a home, he’d be pawned off to Jerome’s mother. At least he would have a home and a room, but he needed more. He deserved more.
He had tried to go home, but he just couldn’t. There was a hole there. For the past year he thought it was DeMonte, but that wasn’t it. He’d been in the house for over a week and came out of his shell after a few days. Rome wondered if that was the longest he’d been in one place. This morning he found a pile of clothes in a pillowcase under DeMonte’s bed. Are these clothes dirty? Rome asked. Do they need to be washed? DeMonte sucked on his thumb and looked up at Rome. When he dumped the clothes on the bed, most still had the tags on them and two of the cars DeMonte had been playing with the night before fell out. It was his luggage. Rome held his son for an hour as they watched a cartoon.
“Sometimes Daddy has to leave for work, but you get to stay. This is your house, DeMonte, do you understand that?”
“Uh-huh,” he replied and Rome’s heart ached as he looked at the boy who couldn’t comprehend.
“Baby, you can’t fix three years in five days. Give that child time.”
“Mama, I have to go to camp on Monday.” He also knew he needed to find Danika. To explain what happened and let her know he still considered her his woman. He needed to tell her how he felt in his heart. The heart she owned. But that meant leaving DeMonte again. He wasn’t going to repair a relationship with a child in tow. “You know how that is. Lockdown at the hotel when I’m not in class or training.”
“I also know you have a few hours in the evenings. I’ll bring him up there. And we can talk on the computer every night.” His mother passed DeMonte a bowl of fruit. “Plus, he’ll see that his bed is there for him every night. Has he ever had that?”
A vendor pushed a cart with Chicago style hot dogs down the sidewalk in front of Rome and he knew what he needed to do. He was going to the dinner party he’d been invited to and this time he wasn’t going to be a chicken shit. If he didn’t end up with Danika by the end of the night, he was turning in his man card.
Danika had been and would always be the one he needed. She was the missing element in his home. Picking up his phone, he prepared to dial then told himself no. This was a face to face thing, but could he bring her into his life right as he was about to leave? Rome figured he already had. There had been no pressure from the start and the ease had caused him to miss the goal line.
Turning over the engine, Rome backed out of the parking spot and headed up North Shore Drive. All his life he waited for an opening and when he missed it he had to make his own. William Albright might not like the public image Rome had, but man to man he knew Rome wasn’t a man to be messed with. He was the master of his own universe and with Danika by his side, he could become legendary. She made him look forward to a single day of the week. Knowing each morning that he could wake next to her didn’t scare him. Instead, his chest warmed at the notion.
He got to the estate in a little over an hour. As he pulled up the drive, he discovered that Dani’s idea of intimate was a few hundred people more than he was used to. A valet met him as he finally made it to the front of the line. Passing Rome a ticket, the kid gave him a broad smile.
“Jerome Speed,” he exclaimed. “I promise I’ll keep this away from every other car in the place.”
“Good luck with that,” Rome said as he slapped the kid’s shoulder and headed to the door with a doorman checking a list. Seriously, what the hell had he stepped into? Good thing he hadn’t changed out of his suit, but he still didn’t have a coat. “Jerome Speed,” he said with confidence as the man in a tux looked over the list.
“You know this is a black tie affair,” he pointed out.
“I was not informed.”
“Probably because you didn’t get an invitation,” the man with the square jaw and personality to match said before waving the next person in line up.
“I’m on the list. I was personally invited by Bonnie.”
Irritation crossed the man’s face seeming to relish the power over a man who might be living the dream he couldn’t. “Do I need to call security?”
“How about calling the woman throwing the party?”
“Because she pays me to keep people out. Not to summon her for every party crasher.”
“I’m not a party crasher.” Okay, he might be, but he was invited at one time.
“Name,” the doorman called to the person behind him. Rome turned and almost ran into Dani’s friend.
“Esme,” he said.
“Two points for remembering.” She gave him a sly smile. “But negative five for showing up uninvited.”
“I was invited at one time,” he pointed out.
“I was engaged to a sheik. Doesn’t mean I showed up to the party.”
“How pissed off is she?”
“You didn’t fall off the face of the planet. Just ditched her. Hell, if you would have tossed her a deuces at least she would have felt you gave a fuck about her.”
“Her father said he’d explain why I had to go away since it was his idea.”
Esme let out a laugh. “Are you naïve or just dumb? William Albright will do any and everything he can to keep his family locked down. Who in this zip code doesn’t give his baby girl at least a black card?”
“Esme, I need to see her.”
“Call her up, make an appointment,” she said as she placed her hand on his forearm, squeezed a bit then gave him a smirk before stepping away.
“I love her,” he confessed and Esme stopped. Flipping her long blond hair to the side, she scanned Rome from head to toe with the same Terminator vision Danika had.
“Esme Carmichael,” she said and tapped the clipboard with the list. “Plus one.”
Rome’s head snapped to attention and followed her into the home that had been roped off to lead the guests into the backyard. A large white tent was set up, with a wood floor so the women in heels wouldn’t have to worry about the grass. On a raised stage was the band Rome had found playing in a dive bar. The band members were beaming as they rocked out for their soul turning lead singer.
“You’re in,” Esme said. “The rest is up to you. Hopefully we can find our girl.”
“Why did you help me?” he asked, thinking these two women had judged him on looks alone.
“You didn’t lie to me,” she stated plainly. “But quit being a chicken shit and man up. Dani deserves a man who loves her.”