‘What do you mean, you think Eve knows about us? How could she?’ Flick turned abruptly and leaned on the railing. Warm night air carried scents of subtropical flowers and laughter up to Xander’s balcony, but his news shattered her pleasure in the evening. Running her hands over her bare arms, her mind raced through damage control options. Their choices seemed limited to going public—her stomach clenched at that thought—or breaking it off. Neither option appealed.
‘I guess she saw us leaving the jetty last night, or maybe she saw you leaving the boat this morning. Not that she asked outright, but I got the impression she’d put two and two together. But I doubt she’ll say anything. Eve’s discreet and—’
‘Jeez, Xander, we don’t need discreet. All I wanted was for no one to know we were going out. Honestly, I didn’t think that was too much to ask.’
‘It wasn’t—it’s not. Look, I’ll speak to Eve and ask her not to mention us to anyone.’
‘Like that ever worked.’ Hunching her shoulders, she stared off into the distance. Over the treetops, beyond the headland, the vast darkness of a moonless night beckoned. The spectre of her highly publicised break-up with Jason loomed in her mind. Why hadn’t she told Xander about that? Would it have made a difference to the choices they’d made?
It will be impossible to go on as we have been.
‘Flick, look at me.’ He leaned an elbow on the railing beside her, not quite touching, but close enough that she felt the warmth of him, breathed in the scent of his skin and aftershave.
The first night in his bed was all it had taken before she knew she didn’t want to walk away from him. In less than two months he’d got under her skin, both him and his sister.
Was that why? Seeing him with Jenny—his love and care for her—had got past Flick’s careful guard. The last few weeks, private and intense, meant that now she couldn’t pull back. Wanting their relationship to develop, she needed to find out if she could have a different path with him than her parents had followed. But what if she was doomed to repeat the mistakes of her parents?
I have to put a stop to this now.
She didn’t want to meet his gaze. He wanted her to believe it didn’t matter if people knew about them, and if she looked into his beautiful grey eyes, she knew she’d see compassion and desire, and lose herself. Common sense would flee in the face of that desire.
‘Flick? We can solve this.’
‘Solve it?’ Her gaze darted to meet his and clung. She’d been right to be wary of it, of the gentle concern she read there. Already her body softened and melted towards him. ‘If you have any bright ideas, I’d love to hear them because I really don’t want to become food for the rumour mill.’
‘As I see it, we can ignore the possibility that word will spread and go on as before. I know Eve and I trust she won’t say anything, but I understand you might not feel sure about someone you don’t know.’
She nodded. ‘Okay. I might be wrong about her, but there’s a lot riding on that chance as far as I’m concerned. She has no reason to care what I think; she doesn’t know me at all.’
‘She knows me and she knows I value my privacy. But there is another option.’
‘I can think of two more.’ She wrapped her arms across her waist.
‘Want to share them with me?’
She knew which option she didn’t want. Hated the idea of. But it was still an option and she put it out there first. ‘We end this now.’
He was silent for several heartbeats and she could have sworn his eyes became a dark stormy-grey. A muscle spasmed in his jaw. ‘Is that what you want?’
Her traitorous body wouldn’t countenance the idea. She didn’t mean to, but her head shook from side to side even as she tried to force out words that would be the death of them. ‘I should want that, but I don’t.’
‘And neither do I.’
She gazed helplessly up at him. Was she brave enough to voice it, let alone do it? The spectre of her parents’ loving but ultimately doomed relationship hovered at the edge of her mind. Just because theirs had failed, did it mean she would follow the same path? Was she a fool to give up the chance that she had found a man she might build her future with?
‘You said there was another alternative. It’s the one I prefer.’ He waited, giving her the chance to suggest it.
Her throat worked, opening—closing—wanting to release the words. They wouldn’t come. Coward.
She was all knots and tense muscles and fear fluttering in her belly, and her voice, when she found it, was little more than a whisper. ‘Maybe it’s the one I want too.’
‘Move in with me.’
***
Words of invitation spilled from his mouth as though he had no more control than a teenager. Xander had had no intention of asking Flick to move in with him when their conversation began. And yet, once he’d spoken the words, they felt right.
Flick’s eyes opened wide and her lips parted. For a single moment, he saw joy flash through her eyes before she lowered her gaze. ‘I know I said there was another alternative, but how does that solve anything?’
‘It’s open and honest. It tells people we don’t have anything to hide.’ And now the invitation was out, he realised he wanted her to accept. He wanted her to accept now and come with him when he moved on to his next project. With her baking skills, she could work anywhere. Cupping her face, he stroked his thumb over her cheek. ‘It says we think we’re good together.’
‘We are good together.’ Flick leaned into his touch.
‘Tell me, why don’t you want people to know about us?’
‘I told you, the boss–employee thing.’ Her shoulders hunched and her gaze slid away.
Classic denial. What’s lurking behind that?
From the beginning he’d suspected their work situation wasn’t the whole reason for her reluctance. Now, he was certain it was no more than a quick let-out. He pressed on, gentle but implacable in his need to understand her. ‘But that’s not the case with us. Not even close. What’s beneath that, Flick? The real reason you don’t want people to know?’
Huffing out a cross between a sigh and a gasp, she turned her back on him. Her hands gripped the railing.
He set a hand on each side of hers, cutting off escape. ‘Not this time, Flick. Whatever the problem is, talk to me. Together we might be able to work it out.’
She remained stubbornly silent, until he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against hers. ‘Trust me, Flick. I won’t let you down.’
A barely-there nod, the slick of her tongue across her top lip, a release of breath that could have been a sigh … Her body relaxed against his. He hadn’t let her down; not once since the drama of their meeting.
‘The day we met, I was running away.’
‘Running? From what, or who?’ His arms tightened. Within his embrace he could protect her from self-centred, feuding parents, if the hints he’d picked up were accurate.
‘Myself as much as anyone else.’ Her voice took on a narrative quality and she looked towards the sea, as though the only way she could reveal her worries was at a distance; as though she was telling someone else’s story. ‘My parents are getting a divorce, our home is to be sold and our business is on the market. My mother got a court order restraining my father from entering the premises. I couldn’t desert him and do what he wasn’t allowed to, but my whole working life had been in Pecorino. Without being able to bake for our restaurant, my parents not speaking to each other, and with no home, I had to get away.’ She turned in his arms and leaned back on her elbows, looking up at him.
‘I can see how the situation would have been distressing for you, but I don’t understand—’
‘You’re right, there is more to it. Call me leery of getting involved, but what frightens me is how easily relationships can break down. My parents passed from love to intense dislike. At least that’s how it is with my mother. Dad seems lost and confused. The thought of getting into a relationship only for it to disintegrate scares me, and I threw out my one-line stop sign. You found a detour around it.’
‘So you’re saying you didn’t want to get into a relationship because you were worried how it would end?’
Her gaze dropped to his lips before reconnecting with his. ‘It might sound silly to anyone who hasn’t been collateral damage in the fallout of a relationship, but it’s devastating. With my parents I tried not to take sides, but somewhere along the way, I was forced to. And then chunks of my life—my identity—fell away until I didn’t know what to do. But I’m saving all I can to put a deposit down on Pecorino. Then Dad can come home and work in the restaurant he built up from nothing.’
‘That’s great. Well done.’ That right there—the core of Flick was strong and solid and so sexy. He admitted it: he found Flick’s pursuit of her dream sexy.
‘Thanks. But you know there’s one more miserable part to this sorry story.’
***
‘Tell me now so I know the worst. And then I’ll find a way to make you forget.’ He moved into her space and she was left in no doubt how he planned to help her leave behind the pain of her family.
She slid her hands up over his chest and around his neck. ‘My ex-boyfriend was a celebrity on the Brisbane music scene. Associating with him was great for our business.’
Xander’s eyebrow arched above an enquiring gaze and she shook her head. ‘That wasn’t why I went out with him. I wanted what my parents had. I thought I’d found it with him. When we broke up, it was a very public and embarrassing split. I got hammered in the press, labelled a gold-digger. Bookings fell away at the restaurant and, for a while, I couldn’t go out, couldn’t do anything, without cameras flashing in my face.’
Lights flashing, blinding, accusing. And the press of bodies surrounding, trapping her, stealing the air from her starving lungs … Her stomach clenched at the memory, still crystal-clear after more than a year.
She dragged in a shuddery breath, feeling the warmth of Xander beneath her fingers. ‘You wonder why I don’t want to be seen with you in public. You have a high business profile and I couldn’t face another media frenzy like what hit me after Jason dumped me. Between that and what’s happened with my parents …’
‘I get it, believe me. My sympathy. The press can be like sharks scenting blood in the water.’ He’d told her how much he hated the often-intrusive media attention, and how the women he’d dated had basked in reflected glory.
Flick preferred to shun the spotlight.
‘Jason claimed we were breaking up because he didn’t like the hours I worked. It took me a long time to realise that was just an excuse. We really weren’t that compatible. He just saw it before I did.’
‘He’s a fool if he couldn’t see what he was losing.’ Xander kissed her forehead and slid his hands up to her shoulders. ‘I happen to think you’re amazing.’
She tipped her head and leaned close, invitation in her eyes, on her lips. He was going to kiss her until they both forgot how they’d started arguing in the first place.
‘But first I need your answer.’
‘To what?’
‘To my question. Will you move in with me?’