Abby had never felt more relieved to hear Mendelssohn’s Wedding March. At last the doors were thrust open and light flooded into the church. She welcomed the fresh air as it swept in. She felt like she could breathe again. She squeezed Bradley’s hand and thanked him sincerely before letting it go. They were sitting amongst colleagues. If it wasn’t too late after her performance, Abby hoped to keep gossip to a minimum. Brad had comforted her throughout the service, holding her hand, passing her tissues, glaring at anybody who stared whenever she couldn’t control her tears and discreetly putting in silly words during the hymns in an attempt to make her smile. His kind intervention had quashed the voices in her head and stopped her spiralling into panic.
In readiness to leave the church, Abby opened her clutch bag and eased out her squished box of confetti. With that moved she could shove all her sodden tissues away. Despite her red eyes, blotchy face and tear-splattered dress she hoped to exit the church with some dignity still intact. As the bride and groom headed outside the bells rang out joyously. That was it: the service was officially over, it was almost time for a drink. Thank God! Oh sorry!
After waiting patiently as what felt like the entire congregation edged slowly out of the church Abby practically burst out the door, hurdling Melissa’s wheelchair-bound auntie and forgetting to thank the vicar as she flew through the porch.
He called after her, “Confetti outside the lychgate!”
But she wasn’t headed towards the happy couple; she needed a moment. Tucking herself round the corner, by the ancient graveyard, she leaned against the cold stone wall of the church and took long, deep breaths. It was refreshing after the confinement of the church.
Her dress was screwed up and still crinkled where her tears had hit. She decided that as much as she loved the shape and style of it, silk wasn’t her friend.
“It’s eBay for you when we get home!” she announced, swiping her hands over the offending material.
“That’d be a shame.”
As Bradley sauntered round the corner Abby tried not to swoon at how very good he looked in his suit and tie. Wow! She wondered how she had missed that until now. It would have been a very welcome distraction. She attempted a sensible response.
“I don’t know what I was thinking wearing silk.”
“I think you look lovely in silk. I bet you feel good in it too.”
Did he actually just say that? Abby’s cheeks blazed.
Brad closed the gap between them. Abby held her breath.
“There you are. Ooh, hello! Who’s this?”
Both Abby and Bradley turned sharply to see Mindy heading towards them, breasts first.
“Mindy. I didn’t know you were coming.” Abby felt her cheeks still blazing and stepped away from Brad as she flustered with introductions. “Mindy, Brad, Brad, Mindy.” Abby watched as Mindy took Brad’s hand, hoping she’d imagined her moving in closer so that her breasts were almost resting against his arm. Before she could stop herself Abby placed her hand on Brad’s arm and pulled him closer to her. It was ridiculous. She looked like she was about to start a tug of war over this man who wasn’t hers to claim.
“Brad works with Melissa and me. He’s the PE co-ordinator.” She said, attempting to cover her move by continuing the introductions. As nobody spoke, she went on. “Mindy works for Lucy, Melissa’s cousin, at the Prrrrimp Your Hide salon. It’s for humans. Not pets.” Abby was aware she was rambling and over-introducing everybody. She forced herself to be quiet.
Mindy laughed, flashing her white teeth. Brad looked at Abby and slightly grimaced. Abby couldn’t help but feel a little too pleased that he hadn’t been distracted by the sight of Mindy’s perfect teeth and cavernous cleavage.
“Hey you!” Lucy appeared around the corner.
Abby didn’t want to seem rude but her little quiet spot was getting busier by the minute. She offered a tight smile. “And here’s Lucy… the cousin.” She cringed, feeling suitably embarrassed by her own tone.
“I waved at you inside, you were miles away.”
Abby had been so preoccupied she hadn’t even thought to look for Lucy in the church. “Sorry Lucy, I was distracted.” She smiled at Brad, knowing he was aware of what a wreck she had been.
Both Mindy and Lucy misinterpreted the look and spoke in unison, laughing and winking at Brad. “Ah-ha!”
“It must be time for pictures,” Abby interjected, deciding that trying to correct their erroneous interpretation would probably just make the situation worse. Smiling, she headed back towards the front of the church hoping they would all follow.
Abby watched as Melissa and Adam posed for rounds of photographs. She thought about her own wedding photograph in the drawer at home. She thought she might like to look at it again – maybe not put it up, but look at it. They had been babies when they married compared to the people they were now. She thought the girls might like to see it again; they always laughed at it, saying Mummy and Daddy looked funny.
When the photos were finally over and the confetti had been thrown – respectfully beyond the lychgate – it was time to head back to the hotel. The coaches pulled up. Abby looked at Brad; she didn’t fancy getting on board with everybody else. She still needed a little space.
“How far do you suppose it is back to the hotel?”
“About three miles, I reckon. There’s a footpath that runs along the fields.”
Three miles – not too bad. Hmm, now which footpath is that? “OK, thanks.” It was warm but Abby intended to change her dress when she got back anyway. If the walk made her too warm she could always grab a quick shower at the same time. She would only miss more drinks being served on the lawn while the happy couple were whisked off for private shots. She turned and started walking towards the road.
“Wait. Why are you asking?”
“I’m going to walk it. I need the space.” Abby felt instantly annoyed with herself – she didn’t need space away from him. She just couldn’t face being confined again on the coach.
Brad looked a little deflated.
“Walk with me if you like.” She surprised herself.
Brad didn’t wait to be asked again and hurried after her.
Five minutes down the road and after watching the coach disappear into the distance Abby’s feet were throbbing. She had worn her new shoes in on carpet; clomping them along a cobbled pavement felt quite different.
“It’s no good, these have to come off!”
Brad laughed as she slipped her shoes off and wiggled her toes.
“It’s been bloody ages since I’ve worn shoes like this out.” Abby felt grit underfoot but her feet were more than happy to be free.
“The footpath is up here, it’ll be grass then. Do you need me to carry you?”
“Pah!” Abby guffawed. “I’d break your back!”
“I could piggyback you.”
Well that seemed like a ridiculous idea, what would they look like? Abby was pretty sure that would definitely break his back, plus she’d have to hitch her skirt up and wrap her legs around him while his hands were on her thighs… hmmm!
“No. No, no, I’ll be fine honestly. It’s refreshing walking barefoot.” She almost convinced herself.
Once they were on the footpath, walking through a field, it really was refreshing. The grass was dry and tickly. It was peaceful, she felt relaxed and… happy. She reflected on how she had felt in the church: she had been on the verge of spiralling into panic and yet now she felt normal. It was such an improvement since the days spent engulfed by darkness, wallowing in her own sadness. The fact that it no longer consumed her in the same way made her feel more in control, like she was winning the battle.
“So Mr Hunter, where is your plus one? Why are you here alone?” The question came without preamble; it seemed feeling at peace made her relax a little too much. As Brad winced, she regretted her lack of filter.
“Honestly?”
Honestly? Yes, honestly – why don’t men have honesty as their default setting? “Only if you want to tell me. Sorry… I wasn’t trying to pry.”
“It’s OK. I’m surprised the gossip hasn’t got round at work already.”
Ooh, was there gossip? Perhaps she had been too wound up in her own problems to hear it. “I haven’t heard anything.”
“My plus one is in India.”
The thought that there actually was a plus one hit Abby like a slap in the face. She tried not to look taken aback as she concentrated on keeping her feet moving forward. But all the flirting…?
“Though technically I don’t think she can be called my plus one any more, since last I heard she had found a backpacker from Manchester to find herself with.”
“Oh,” was all Abby could manage.
“Autumn felt she was missing something. Apparently that something might be found in India.”
Autumn? Did he actually say Autumn? Oh God, she’s a hippy!
“I was getting ready to settle down, start a family and thought she was too. But when I was looking at engagement rings and honeymoon destinations, it turns out she was looking at backpacks and hostels.” The hurt in his voice was clear.
Abby felt bad; all the time she’d been asking him to be her friend and yet she hadn’t known this. She had never bothered to ask how he was, what was going on in his life.
“Simon was a dick for messing around on you. Honestly Abby, I’d love to have what he had.”
Abby was shocked by the turn in conversation. Now it was Brad who had lost his filter.
“I want a wife who loves me and wants to be with me, I want children. I want a Sunday morning bringing my wife breakfast in bed, while our children play happily.”
Abby thought about the reality of Sunday mornings in the past, of the girls waking her up too early while they squabbled over which toy to play with, and her succumbing to letting them watch Milkshake so she and Simon could sneak a cuddle that was generally interrupted by Bramble barking for his breakfast. It wasn’t quite the picture Brad was painting but she got his point.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know about… about… Autumn.” She wanted to turn the conversation back round. Aware that Brad probably wasn’t in the mood for it, she fought the urge to defend Simon and her marriage.
Brad sighed. “It’s OK, there’s nothing to know really. She’s gone.”
The final words carried weight, Abby could tell, but she wasn’t sure Brad wanted to share. Perhaps it wasn’t just her he was comforting at the wedding.
Following the edge of the woodland they could see the hotel in the distance and the guests gathered outside. Abby welcomed the distraction.
“Oh look, we’re almost there.”
“How about we arrive in style?”
Abby looked at Brad – he couldn’t be serious. He was pointing at a golf buggy just a short distance from them.
“We can’t just take a golf buggy!”
“It looks pretty abandoned to me.”
“We both know that’s not true, the owner has to be here somewhere.”
“Um, well I don’t see them.” Brad shrugged assuredly as he jogged towards it and climbed in the driving seat.
“Brad, it’s stealing.”
“No, it’s borrowing. Get in.”
Abby knew it was a silly idea but her feet were aching and there was a drink calling to her in the distance. She could almost feel the bubbles tickling her nose.
“Oh bugger!” Abby leapt in, giggling wildly from nerves and excitement as Brad sped off. As they headed towards the hotel, Abby turned to see a disgruntled golfer emerging from the trees doing up his zip. It’s definitely stealing! She turned, pretending not to notice. The golf buggy was at its limit around eighteen miles per hour but with the excitement of the moment and the hill leading to the hotel it felt faster.
“You do know how to stop this don’t you?”
“Umm… yes.”
With the hotel fast approaching Abby sincerely hoped he did. Arriving in style was one thing, crashing into drinks on the lawn was quite another. A few guests turned to see them hurtling towards them. Abby couldn’t help but notice Patty’s shocked face staring at them. There goes keeping a lid on the gossip at school! In true racer boy style Brad skidded to a halt, causing more guests to turn. Abby attempted a casual smile, aware that she was still holding her shoes, her hair was a mess from the ride and her dress was still screwed up. In fact she was looking thoroughly dishevelled. Brad offered his hand. Taking it and exiting the golf buggy with as much decorum as she could muster Abby stepped out and put her shoes on. As a waiter passed she took a flute of champagne and swigged it back. Oh, she needed that. Smiling at Brad and then turning to a wide-eyed Patty she excused herself and went to make herself look a little more appropriate for the occasion.