24. |
Learn to Deal with Difficult People |
No matter how nice a person you may be or how easy you think you are to get along with, in any organization there will be people who, for whatever reason, do not like you. There are people in many companies who just seem not to like anyone, for that matter.
No one says you have to like all your coworkers; however, you do still have to work with them. Sometimes this means having to work closely with people you’d just as soon not even be in the same room with. While you do not have to like your coworkers, you all have a job to do and are expected to do it. You have to find a way to get along, or the tension may become a detriment to the entire organization.
A concept I learned many years ago is “principles before personalities.” I learned this in a recovery program, a situation in which someone I did not particularly like might just be the person to say something that could save my life.
In the context of your work environment the idea still holds true. While what a coworker says or does may not be lifesaving, it may well be what you need to hear to successfully complete a job, and it could be the difference between career advancement and termination. It is therefore imperative that you develop ways of dealing with people you’d just as soon avoid all together.
One of the best ways of learning to work with people, regardless of their personalities (or lack thereof), is always to treat them with respect. No matter what you may think of another person, he or she deserves respect. We all do.
Another practice is to look for what you like about people with whom you don’t resonate. There is always something. Just as you can focus on what’s working in a situation, as described above, you can always look for, and find, the good in another person. Does he handle his job well? Is she particularly good at a specific task? Look beneath the surface of an abrasive personality and see if you can find the real person. We are all human beings, and we all have at least the potential to be great.
Often when a person is difficult to get along with, there is an underlying cause. Many times they do not like themselves and reflect that to everyone they meet. Often, trying to see a situation from the other person’s perspective can enable you to better understand their position.
To make working and communicating with people you do not get along with easier, focus on what you have in common rather than on your differences. For example, if you notice that a colleague likes old movies, as do you, ask him about his favorite old film. This will establish a topic you can both relate to and make working together easier. You may even be surprised to learn that you actually like your coworker!
Often if you take the time to get to know those difficult coworkers, you will find that they are decent, kind people who perhaps were simply shy and only appeared unfriendly. Learn to listen. Often all someone wants is to be heard. We all want to be recognized as human beings, and, given the opportunity, we can all learn to connect with one another as people, putting aside our differences and learning to work for the common good.
If you want to be happier and more effective at work, learn to set aside personalities and focus on the task at hand while at the same time treating everyone you encounter, in and out of work, with respect.