27. |
Gauge Your Happiness |
Dr. Wayne Dyer was quoted as saying, “There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way.” This belief is a key to being happier, whether at work or in your personal life.
The way to be happier is to simply be happy. Find the things that make you happy, and do them. Take charge of your thoughts and dwell only on the ones that make you feel good.
Being the author of both Handbook to a Happier Life and 52 Ways to a Happier Life, I am considered an authority on the subject of happiness and have been asked numerous times, during media interviews, why people are not happier, especially at work.
This has become one of my favorite interview questions because the answer is so obvious, at least to me. One of the main reasons that more people are not happier at work is simply that they have not taken the time to ask themselves what makes them happy.
Instead, many people choose to focus on what’s wrong with their job or on what they perceive as problems, rather than on what they appreciate. Finding reasons to feel appreciation in your everyday life is one of the fastest ways to feel happier.
Another way to feel better about yourself is to do something for another person. Most people report feeling happier when helping a fellow human being, and studies have shown that volunteering increases our happiness levels as well as our overall health. And, of course, getting involved in volunteering will help you to feel better, but you will be helping your community as well.
I realize this may sound like an oversimplification, but it’s true. We are not taught to identify the activities, attitudes, and actions that add to our happiness. Instead it is all left to chance.
We are brainwashed by the media to believe that in order to be happy we must achieve a certain level of professional success, usually defined by someone else. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to excel, career success alone will not make you happy. This becomes obvious when one looks at the number of very successful but unhappy people in our society.
This was one of those lessons that I had to learn the hard way. Only after I had lost almost all my stuff did I understand that happiness was something I was free to choose at any time.
Fortunately, I was able to acquire more material possessions and can enjoy them without being attached to them. There is nothing wrong with wanting nice things, as long as you understand that it’s just “stuff” and will not make you feel better for more than a fleeting moment.
Take the time to identify the thoughts, experiences, activities, and conditions that add to your happiness and find ways to add more of them to your life. Think about what makes you happy. Look for ways to feel happier. The easiest and best way to accomplish this is to look for things to be grateful for.
Since unhappiness is usually connected to feelings of self-pity, and it is impossible to be in a state of gratitude and self-pity at the same time, when you focus on those things you are grateful for, you automatically begin to feel happier.