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Avoid Energy Zappers |
Every company has them. Energy zappers are those people who spend their days telling whomever will listen all about their latest illnesses or the accident that happened on the freeway. These are the people whose mission in life is to make everyone feel as bad as they do.
They’re negative people who seem obsessed with finding something wrong in every situation. If it’s a beautiful, sunny day they’ll tell you about the storm that’s coming tomorrow. They lie in wait for some terrible tragedy to befall them instead of enjoying the present moment.
While they may be good, caring people, they’re difficult to be around. If you’re having a fantastic day the energy zapper will come along and rain on your parade. You know the people I’m referring to. We all have them in our lives. Unfortunately, many times they’re some of the people who are closest to us, perhaps even family members. You may be going along having a fantastic day, feeling awesome, as happy as can be, when suddenly you encounter the energy zapper. Within five minutes of listening to her, you feel like you need a nap. She sucks the energy and good feelings out of you.
The best thing you can do with these people is to spend as little time around them as possible. Obviously if they’re in your family you can’t avoid them altogether, but you can minimize the time you spend with them. If they’re at your workplace you can do your best to avoid them or at least not get caught up in their story.
Trying to change an energy zapper, unless he wants to change, is usually a waste of time. My mother-in-law, Jean, used to make a game out of it. Someone would say something like, “Isn’t it a lovely day?” to which she would reply, “It’s too hot,” “It’s too cold,” or too something. The person would then try to convince her that it was, in fact, a beautiful day. At that point, as Sherlock Holmes would have said, “The game’s afoot.” Jean would continue to defend her position, countering any attempt to make her feel better. I was one of the few people who’d interrupt her game by refusing to get caught up in it.
Her classic remark, as she got older was, “It’s not easy getting old.” This statement was designed to get someone to try to make her feel better. Having spent so much time in self-discovery and self-reflection I had learned better ways to communicate and to avoid getting sucked into people’s games. My standard reply each time she said that was, “The alternative is even worse,” at which point she’d smile, realizing I’d caught her at her game. I think one of the reasons she liked me so much was the fact that she couldn’t manipulate me like she could everyone else, especially her husband and daughter.
In your workplace you know who the energy zappers are. The best thing you can do is spend as little time around them as possible. As they say in 12-step programs, “Hang out with the winners.”
If you want to be happier and more productive at work and enjoy your life to its fullest, spend time with the winners, those people who are positive, uplifting, and supportive and who want to help you become the best you can be.