Wait until Akela is out of the room
and the noise level begins to rise.
As soon as you hear returning footsteps
call out in a loud, clear voice:
‘Quiet everybody. We promised to get on
with things in silence. DYB. DYB. DYB. Remember?’
By now the footsteps will have stopped
and the Pack looking to see if you are being serious.
Ignore them, and use the pause
to do something useful, like tying a knot.
Akela will then make stamping noises
and open the door. Everything is shipshape.
Acknowledge the appraising glance
but appear embarrassed, as if you wished
you could bite your tongue off.
Promotion will quickly follow. And disappointment:
Akela in a tent, unfurling his knob.
Dirty Old Bugger. DOB. DOB. DOB.