My little plastic mac

Teach me, o Lord, to be permissive

the sixties way to save the soul

three leers for sexual freedom

let the good times rock’n’roll.

Tired of being puritan

and living by the code

I learned the New Morality

and shed my guilty load.

I read the kinky magazines

to gain my evil ends

scanned the personal columns

for interesting friends.

And now I’ve got the taste for sin

I know I’ll never stop

just can’t wait to get married

so I’ll have a wife to swap.

I’m all for divorce and abortion

and the contraceptive pill

let’s hear it from the audience

for the homosexual bill.

Here’s to the New Morality

pornographers may they thrive

when there’s blue films on at the Odeon

it’ll be good to be alive.

And once the ball starts rolling

who knows very soon

there’ll be a complete set of the Marquis de Sade

in every hotel room.

God bless the new reformers

let them make our island home

a country fit for psychopaths

and nutters like me to roam.

You see at bedtime when I’ve put away

my flagellation kit

I often shed a silent tear

and I’m forced to admit

that it isn’t always easy

being a sexual maniac

as I slide between the rubber sheets

in my little plastic mac.