Who was the naughty girl I saw combing her hair with a bluebell
Who was the naughty girl I saw paying her fare with a seashell
Who was the naughty girl I saw sawing the seesaw in two
Who reported Dr Barnardo to the NSPCC
Peter Scott to the RSPB
Who sent the Pope a Playboy key, Jack Ruby a get-well card
The Elephant Man a Valentine card, Pontius Pilate a Xmas card
The Boston Strangler a calling card
Who was the naughty girl who passed Lot the salt
Who went to lunch with William Burroughs, naked
Who fed foie gras to the geese
Who helped the blindman into the ladies
Who snitched on Guy Fawkes
Who switched on Caryl Chessman
Who knitted socks for the Viet Cong
Who was the naughty girl
who put L.S.D. in my Horlicks
Evostick in my contact lenses
Chloroform in my handkerchief
Pig’s liver in my pockets
Ants in my gants
Who was the naughty girl?
Why, you.