Summer with the Monarch

The Queen came up to Liverpool

To dine at our Town Hall

In the evening wrote to her husband

‘Dear Philip, I’m having a ball

I think I’ll hang around

I mean everything’s happening here

I’m beginning to dig the poetry scene

And the ale, as they say, is the gear.’

So while she was having a castle built

Down in Castle Street

She had a look round Liverpool 8

Found a pad there, small but neat

She moved in a few belongings

Corgis, crown, a throne

And blueblood in the neighbourhood

Really raised the tone

Soon Her Majesty was caught up

In the bohemian social whirl

Our gracious teenybopper

Everybody’s girl

I met her at a party

Somewhere in Norris Green

I was just a layabout

And she was queen of the scene

But love knows no class barriers

As you well rightly know

And as I’d had a few that night

I thought I’d have a go

We had a couple of dances

As a matter of fact we raved

And when I asked ‘Can I take you home?’

She simply smiled and waved

And she told me next morning

‘I’ll never love another

I’ve always fancied weirdos

I appoint you Royal Lover.’

The same day we decided

To set the social pace

And once we’d laced our sneakers

There was noone in the race

We’d go everynight to the alehouse

Throw down a few black ’n’ tans

She’d roll a joint in the Ladies

And we’d crawl back home on our hands

Our world was mad and frenzied

The sun refused to set

Our joy seemed neverending

A life of fun – and yet

Happiness is mis-shaped

As I was soon to learn

For now this little story

Takes on a sadder turn

For the Establishment was angry

And to everyone’s surprise

Her husband and the Prime Minister

Were planning her demise

They kidnapped her one morning

While I was still in bed

Took her to the Tower

And chopped off her head

now sadly i remember

with tears for company

how i spent summer with the monarch

and

the monarch

spent summer

with me.