Is My Team Playing

(after A. E. Housman)

Is my team playing

That I used to cheer

Each Saturday on the terrace

Before I transferred here?

Aye the lads still battle

They go from strength to strength

Won the FA Cup

Since you were laid at length.

Is factory still closed

With pickets at the gate?

Would I could lend a hand

Ere I felt the hand of Fate.

No things are back to normal

Thanks to the TUC

Our wages now are frozen

But not so much as thee.

And my lonely widow

Does she nightly grieve

For her dear departed

Gone early to the grave?

No she’s right as rain

And not the one to weep

She is well looked after

Be still my lad, and sleep.

And what of you, dear friend

Are you still unwed

Or have you found a lady

To share your bachelor bed?

Well… er, I don’t know how to say this

But after the funeral I got really plastered

I walked the widow back to yours, and

Oh, you lousy b*stard!