There’s always someone who spoils things, isn’t there?
We are all enjoying the story
and someone has to shout out something silly.
We are all there in good time
and someone has to be late
spoiling it for everybody else.
There we are, all dressed up, gone to a lot of trouble
and someone had to show up
looking like I don’t know what.
They do it on purpose, we know that.
Just to make themselves feel important.
When not destroying plant-life
they’re using sawn-off shotguns.
Blowing up aeroplanes
Not paying their TV licences
Throwing my satchel into the canal
Reporting me to Mr Clark, and I hadn’t done anything.
***
My wife and I run a little business.
Exotic plants. Carnivores mainly. Venus flytraps,
that sort of thing. The place is always full
and we take the time to explain how,
once trapped within the plant, the insects
are broken down by enzymes and the proteins
extracted, leaving only the decaying husks.
People find it fascinating, especially children.
But as soon as your back is turned
there is always someone who thinks it’s funny
to introduce foreign bodies. Chewing-gum,
sweet-wrappers, lolly-ice sticks, pencils,
even a chicken tikka sandwich once.
They do it on purpose, we know that.
Just to be different, just to spoil it for everybody else.