Have you heard the latest scandal
About 80-year-old Mr Brown?
He stole from Matron’s handbag
Then hitchhiked into town.
Had a slap-up meal at the Wimpy
Then went to a film matinée
One of them sexy blue ones
We’re not supposed to see.
Then he bought some jeans and a toupee
Spent the night in a pub
Then carried on till the early hours
Dancing in a club.
They caught him in the morning
Trying to board the London train
He tried to fight them off
But he’s back here once again.
They asked him if he’d be a good boy
He said he’d rather not
So they gave him a nice injection
And tied him up in his cot.
He died that very night
Apparently a stroke.
Kept screaming: ‘Come out Death and fight.’
Funny sort of bloke.