The Grand Old Duke of Wellington
Gave us the wellington boot.
The Earl of Sandwich, so they say,
Invented the sandwich. The suit
Blues saxophonists choose to wear
Is called after Zoot Sims (a Zoot suit).
And the inventor of the saxophone?
Mr Sax, of course. (Toot! Toot!)
And we all recall, no trouble at all,
That buccaneer, long since gone,
Famed for his one-legged underpants –
‘Why, shiver me timbers’ – Long John.
But who can remember Emily Frying?
(Forgotten, not being a man.)
For she it was who invented
The household frying pan.
And what about Hilary Teapot?
And her cousin, Charlotte Garden-Hose?
Who invented things to go inside birdcages
(You know, for budgies to swing on). Those.