(a Full Monty of poetic forms)
A poet of little repute
Desperate for something to do
One evening pissed as a newt
Decided to have a tattoo.
On his chest an unrhymed sestina
On his belly a fine villanelle
On each bicep a series of haiku
On each shank a tanka as well.
On each shoulder a Petrarchan sonnet
Making twenty-eight lines in all
An acrostic across each firm buttock
With a limerick, what else? on each ball.
On each knee, though knobbly, a rondeau redoublé
(which was terribly tricky to do)
On each pendulous lobe, a Pindaric ode
On each clavicle, a neat clerihew.
Any flesh that remained was minutely quatrained
(the odd couplet if not enough room)
On the sole of each foot, a virelai was put
An englyn and Malaysian pantoum.
***
This poet of Great Repute
Now travels from town to town
Goes on stage, removes his shirt
And takes his trousers down.
While audiences marvel
At the body of work so vast
Concrete, surreal and post-modern
Alongside the great works of the past.
And some are poetry-lovers
Who believe they could do worse
Than curl up every evening
With this anthology of verse.
For nothing can beat the written word
Especially on a torso, bared.