Manx: The celtic dialect (Manx Gaelic) of the Isle of Man, now on the point of extinction.
Pears Encyclopaedia, 78th edition
An old man walks into his local newsagents
and asks, in perfect Manx, for a packet of Silk Cut
and the Daily Mirror… Oh, and some aspirin
for the missus. The man behind the counter,
being new to the area, says, ‘Pardon?’
Tobaccoless, paperless and aspirinless,
the old man returns home to find his wife
collapsed on the living-room floor.
He telephones immediately for an ambulance,
but the girl from the Emergency Services Provider,
being in Manchester, says, ‘Pardon?’
The old man rushes out into the busy street
and in pure Manx Gaelic appeals for help
to the passers-by. They either nod sympathetically
and give directions to the ferry, or say, ‘Pardon?’
The old woman dies. The old man is struck dumb.
And Manx Gaelic, having nobody to talk to,
sets off in search of the Land of Lost Tongues
as fast as his three legs can carry him.