Fear of Flares

I have this fear:

At a glittering occasion,

some kind of ceremony,

I am waiting in line

to be introduced to Princess Di

when I realize that I am wearing

flared trousers. Flared trousers!

There is no time to lose.

Unzipping them, I let them fall

around my ankles, then stand back

to attention. Her Royal Highness,

to her credit, makes no mention,

chats amiably, then moves on.

I pull them up. No harm done.