CHAPTER 27

 

Baltimore, Maryland

John Curran entered puberty when he was thirteen. At the same time he entered his own personal hell. In the beginning, all of the boy’s feelings of sexual arousal were accompanied by a competing sense of apprehension and fear. His scarred penis and testicles was a fierce reminder of the various tortures administered by his mother and her partners. Every erection brought with it both excitement and revulsion.

One evening, though, while lying in bed and unable to sleep, John subconsciously allowed his mind to wander to the image of the fresh, innocent face of Sister Francis. He became ashamed. He tried desperately to turn his thoughts to a non-sexual subject. He thought of cars, sports, and even food – anything but Sister Francis. But, his attempts at misdirection only brought the image of his surrogate mother more clearly into focus. Try as he might to dismiss it, the image only became clearer, and with the image came the erection. He wasn’t aware of exactly how it happened, but John soon found himself on the brink of orgasm. Before he realized what was happening, the first-time experience was over. The warm, wet fluid from his ejaculation had spread over the front of his under shorts and he was left relieved, but also confused. The exhausted boy immediately drifted into a deep, untroubled sleep. When he awoke in the morning, he felt oddly refreshed – even cleansed – but with no memory of the shame of the previous evening. From that day forward, however, all feelings of sexual arousal were to be forever linked to the image of John Curran’s one true love—Sister Francis—and were to be accompanied by a deep feeling of shame...