Post-coital Colloquium

‘We exist only in the reflection of others.’

I was suddenly feeling very enlightened,

deep, and desperate to impress.

His lips puckered into a naturally

childish pout, reddish-brown, moist,

within kissable reach of mine,

and equally as fleshy. Long lashes, curly

as a newborn’s, were at odds with a forehead

fronting a skull of smoothed rock;

two vertical thinking lines crossed

his frowning horizontal ones,

and if thoughts were things,

they would be storm’d waves, not outside

but crashing inside the cliff face.

I ran a finger down his bristly cheek.

This was as real as it got –

I’d just shagged the bleedin’ emperor.

I wanted to scream out of the window,

do a frenzied dance in honour of Venus,

Glorious Queen of Love

(not the Glitzy Glamour Queen, but oh,

if she could see me now).

Venus, who sprang from the foam of the sea

(as you do), who was forced to marry Vulcan,

who had finally cast her spell on me.

After all these years, I had discovered

amore nihil mollius nihil violentius:

nothing is tamer or wilder than love.

‘Aiwa, this is how we know ourselves,’

he replied, and I realized that each word

he offered the world was coated in certainty:

Yes or No was the language of my leader.

His voice possessed the rumble of a mortal

who will become a god when he dies,

I could already hear him booming down

from Mount Olympus, I can see you-oo!

I sat up. ‘Who are you, Severus?’

I had discovered the miracle of love-making,

which dissolved the toughest carapace;

yesterday the question

would have been impertinent,

tonight it was simply – intimate.

He sighed. ‘I am what I have to be.’

His breath suffused the room

with a sudden gust of melancholia.

‘Who I really am is lost.

Was I that boy who went to the Temple of Apollo

and against music of night waves,

made secret offering to find out

if he would one day be imperator?

Whose father said, “Dream and it will manifest.”

But when I replied, “Daddums, I will be emperor,”

he scoffed, “Are you mad? A Libyan? My son?”

Soon after I read fine words of Virgil,

who is noster maximus poet, of course.’

(‘Of course,’ I echoed, a tad too quickly.)

They can because they think they can.

I spent every night for years

visualizing myself wearing crown of laurels.

When at last time came to wear

what Picts call Real McCoy, it was simply

a case of what Gauls call déjà vu.

I had dream, Zuleika, that one day all peoples

on earth would be my subjects,

not just nine thousand k’s of Europe,

North Africa and Middle Eastern territory,

but all those far-away tribes

of whom we know little or nothing.

Was I that boy who wrote poems in Punic

about homegrown gods Melqart and Shadrapa,

before he did similar in Greek and Latin?

Was I that boy who discovered that colonia

and great ambition spelt husband and wife,

but colonia and fulfilled ambition spelt divorce?

Who at seventeen sailed

down Wadi Leba on naval warship,

past crumbling boulevards, white colonnades,

past purple bougainvillea, and out into harbour,

past my waving familia, past the lighthouse,

past vision of salt caravans of camels

and nomads in the distant desert, traipsing

en route to hinterland to trade

with the kingdoms of the south,

while I headed north into great Mediterranean,

destined for HQ of think-tanks, spin doctors,

banks, commercial hubbub, intelligentsia,

and general razza-mattaza di Roma.’

He paused, arms folded

across his chest, black curls thinning

out as they trailed down to his belly button –

a lumpen warrior’s knot.

I sat cross-legged, exposing myself,

what did I have to offer this giant among men

but my body?

He closed his eyes,

trying to recollect events of so long ago.

I wanted to remake my town

with bright stones and glass!

Oh, to fill his pause with my truth,

but Felix’s refrain haunted me, still,

from the first days of our marriage –

silentium mulieri praestat ornatum,

silence is a woman’s best adornment –

and I wasn’t going to blow it tonight.

My own dream had been blown away,

as soon as my father heard it.

My girlish world was all colours and shapes,

a robe with fuschia stripes,

green cat’s eyes blazing in a night alley,

the imperial beauty of the basilica.

Poems were meant to fulfil me instead,

but I failed to create pictures

with my words – or did I?

If he took me to Rome, to the desert … maybe …

His nomadic eyes settled on me,

so tenderly, as if my thoughts

had been spoken, and heard. I wanted to cry.

He stretched languorously, arched his back,

ribcage like the hull of a barge, protruding

through tautened skin.

He raised his muscled brown arms

to the ceiling – a messy old scar ran down

the inside of his left forearm,

like boiled goatskin. I wanted to stroke it.

He folded them behind his head,

cleared his throat. ‘On road to omnipotence

I became centurion, senator,

magistratus, people’s representative, tribune,

legate and finally governor.’

Pride and defiance infused every word.

‘But I returned home often.

Lepcis is colonia, but prosperous one,

our vast olive groves produce world’s finest.

That boy is the father of man before you,

who was ridiculed on arrival in Eternal City

because of his thick African accent.

Today he is icon to sixty million subjects

(give or take few hundred thousand),

yet he drinks potion of acidic nectar. Cheers!

To Managing Director of six hundred

squabbling, back-stabbing Board of Directors

running international Firm on Palatine Hill,

including other Africans who supported

that traitorous Tunisian dog, Clodius Albinus;

who became self-styled MD

while Governor of Britannia, committed

hari kari when hemmed in by my troops,

who removed his brain from his bollocks

and I, yes I, personally trampled

on his headless corpse with my stallion

until he was smashed chicken

(fitting end for coward).

Then I had him thrown into the Rhone,

to make nice chicken soup for amphibians.’

He chuckled as if recalling a humorous anecdote,

then his eyes swiftly shifted from ceiling to mine,

and speared me – all metal,

running cold down my spine, then melting,

molten liquid, flowing into the scoop of the bowl

between my hips. He took my hand

(if I could blush), a kitten’s paw in a bear’s,

rubbed my palm, suddenly dug a nail into it,

bloody hard. I held his gaze,

but flinched inside, flushed.

‘Strong-arm tactics respected, worldwide.

Twenty-six senators executed for consulting

astrologer about my life expectancy,

five imperators killed year I took over Firm:

Commodus, Pertinax, Julianus, Niger

and Odious Clodius. Septic Sev,

they sneer behind my back. I ask you –

should leader be like lamb or lion?’

Somewhere over my left shoulder,

had appeared an audience. All the men

in my life did this, as if their words

were too important for my ears alone.

This was well rehearsed, over and over again

he had justified his position,

and now to me, though he need not.

He flung his arms in the air, shook his head.

‘I am tired, Zuleika, tired of barbarians

clawing at my frontiers after good life,

tired of freedom-fighters, secessionists,

revolutionaries, seditious governors,

break-away factions, religious fantasists,

martyrs, spys, pirates and jumped-up

officers plotting to coup d’état me.

I am tired of hearing

Sevva! Sevva! Sevva!  Out! Out! Out!

What do we want?  Freedom!

When do we want it? Now!

2, 4, 6, 8!

Who should we exterminate?

This nonsense droning on in the distance

when I am trying to have my midday nap.

There are myriad descriptions

for these bastards, though I have just the one.’

He paused, twinkling, cueing me in.

‘What’s that?’ I obliged.

‘A pain in the bloody arse, my dear.

You see, I have simple motto:

Give army pay rise and sod everyone else.

Vanquished will protest, I do not blame them.

But may best man win.

I see him in my looking glass.

Enough! I am man of few words

and it has been long time

since I gave potted history to stranger.

It is like life flashing before my eyes.’

He closed his, for a second time,

I had ceased momentarily to exist. I rose,

threw on my silver nightgown, the marble

floor cooling my sweaty, sticky feet,

quietly opened the door. Two guards

were stationed outside it, invisible

yet omnipresent, my house

had been overrun by his Illyrian Guard.

I was a spectre, floating past, ostensibly

unnoticed, something yet nothing.

Be honest, Zeeks,

for all your pathetic poetic pretensions,

you’re jus’ a likkle housewife,

and to coin a phrase from Venus the Penis,

you’ll not never be nuffink else.

I returned with a flagon of Dom Falernum

poured each of us a goblet.

‘This,’ he announced, alert again,

‘is best sparkling vinum in the world.

Bubbles come from must pressed

from withered Ethiopian grapes, wine

is sealed in terracotta amphorae, stored

underground close to cold-water streams.

So you see, my dear, this is not plonk.

I bring only best gifts for such charming girl.’

‘Cheers! Here’s to longevity,’ I toasted,

raising my goblet.

‘Ah!’ he exclaimed.

‘Life and death. Who is winner?

Why can’t Caledonians surrender?

I have only penetrated to Moray Firth,

morale is low, my soldiers hate the cold.

I will have Scotland. All ginger-heads

will come under my jurisdiction,

but they are bellicose buggers, have resisted

for two hundred years, are worse

than those bible-bashers in the east –

we are the chosen ones and thou shalt not

or you’ll burn in hell unless you pray

to our three-for-the-price-of-one prophet.

You stamp out one lot, another pops up.

I am their ill wind. Only death will curtail me.’

He suddenly turned his back to me,

curled into a tight ball, a soft, maudlin voice

emerged, almost melodramatic:

‘If I should die, think only this of me, Zuleika,

there’s a corner somewhere deep

in Caledonia that is for ever Libya.’

Two toms hissed outside the window,

a barking pack of dogs raced

through the streets, way off I heard

the hypnotic drums of an all-night ritual,

the first cock crowed by the stream.

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked, pressing

myself into his back.

‘We believe in the stars in Africa,

and omens. Before I left for Britannia,

the stars said I will never return home.

Up north, an Ethiop with legion of Moors

at Hadrian’s Wall waved garland

of cypress boughs at me.

It is terrible luck. He laughed in my face:

You have overthrown all things, conquered

all things, now be a conquering god.

Later I was in town to make offering

at Temple of Mithras, more Ethiops

were brought for sacrifice.

Get them away, I shouted. Bad omen!

I slipped an arm around his hot midriff,

his body solid; I had never felt such quiet

physical power, unlike Felix,

who was like a sack of luke-warm water

that shifted to another spot

when pressure was applied.

‘Am I not the deepest of them all?’ I whispered.

He turned around, wrapped me

in his legs and arms like a warm bundle.

‘You are pulcherrima babe.

You bring good luck.’

He rubbed his chin into the groove of my neck,

placed a hand on each of my breasts,

I felt my nipples heat up, grow slowly

erect in his palms. I looked beyond

the window, blue was gradually replacing

black, the stars had faded away, the full

moon was tinged with a translucent glow

that sent an eerie light into the room,

casting a shadow on us both.