Parents often struggle more than most to find time for formal practice, but luckily children present endless opportunities for informal practice. Whether we are faced with a crying baby in the middle of the night or a recalcitrant teenager, parents can feel frustrated and angry, as well as a sense of failure. It is in moments like these that practicing mindfulness can be of benefit to both you and your children.
In moments of difficulty stop and pause. This can be a literal stopping (which might help prevent an automatic response) or a metaphorical one, but the effect is the same.
Pause and come to the body, taking your attention to any sensations you feel, being curious about what is arising and where, but letting go of any need to analyze “why.”
Next, notice what emotions are arising—and there are often more than one. For example, anger may be masking fear, so take a few moments repeatedly to ask yourself, “What is here?” and name it.
Then, becoming aware of the stories you are telling yourself—the “bad parent,” the “failing child,” and so on)... acknowledge exactly what you are feeling right now, even if it feels inappropriate, politically incorrect, or you feel bad that in this moment you really dislike your child.
Be honest about what is arising, acknowledge its presence and breathe with it, allowing the breath to fill the body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Let the whole body breathe.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions while you are breathing, and acknowledge your love for your child in spite of present-moment feelings. Allow any conflicting feelings to co-exist, supported by the breath. Acknowledge your vulnerability, your frailty, your best efforts, and again, your love for your child.