Every Day a Gift

‘Faster!’

When Tim put his back into it even more, Lauren couldn’t help but chuckle at Mia’s encouraging shouts and Alyssa’s loud cheers. His boots made the snow whirl up and flurry into her face. Snowflakes tickled her all but frost-bitten cheeks, and she buried her nose deeper into her winter scarf. To keep the icy wind off Alyssa, Lauren pressed her tightly against her. Mia, in contrast, stirred on the sled behind them, spurring on their patient cart horse, Tim, by bombarding him with snowballs.

‘If you shoot him dead we’ll never get to the top of the hill!’ Lauren laughed, skillfully catching one of the snowballs in mid-flight.

‘Girls, this is the last round!’ Tim groaned and started to slow down again. ‘Seriously, I’m done!’

‘It’s getting late anyway. Grandma probably already called the mountain rescue service,’ Lauren joked, glancing up at the dusky sky.

The virgin white hills beyond the sledding slope gleamed in a pale-blue light. The sun had disappeared behind the hillside, and a hazy twilight engulfed the world around them. Slowly, the scent of the approaching night was rising, and they were the only ones left out there. It was their last downhill run for the day.

‘Here we are!’ Tim panted, as they reached the top of the hill. His face was as red as that of his girls, albeit from the strain rather than from the cold. His breath floated, steam-like, in the air, and he pressed his hands against his hips in exhaustion.

‘So, who goes where?’ he asked, untying the second sled.

‘I want to go with Mom,’ Mia declared, tapping her snow-encrusted gloves together.

‘Are you worried I’m going to push you into a snowbank, seeing as you’ve been throwing snowballs at me this entire time?’ Tim asked, grabbing a handful of snow to form an icy sphere. Mia raised her hands in defense, but grinned from ear to ear.

‘You are mean! Don’t you dare throw that!’ she shouted out, taking shelter behind Lauren. ‘I want to go with Mom, because . . .’ Her eyes got all serious and her laughter that had been ringing out all day, stopped. ‘. . . well, just because!’

Tim and Lauren looked at each other and didn’t know what to say. All of a sudden – after they had managed not to think about her illness all day – the sense of fear was back for both of them. And while they had acted the entire day as if it were one of many more to come, the truth of the matter was that they had taken this trip precisely because there weren’t many such opportunities left.

Lauren gave a barely noticeable nod and lifted Alyssa off her sled. The little girl sunk into the snow, almost up to her knees and, making her way to the other sled, stumbled into a heap of snow. Twice. Lauren felt that this wasn’t entirely unintentional, because Alyssa chortled with glee along the way and took the opportunity to make a snow angel.

It made Lauren happy to see Mia come to the realization that Alyssa was too young to know the truth. She knew they would have to explain it to her some day; but not today. Not for as long as she was doing OK. And so Mia kept her thoughts to herself, instead pressing her lips together and crossing her arms over her chest, as if shielding herself.

Lauren smiled a sad smile. She wished she could help Mia in some way. She tapped the seat in front of her on the sled, still warm from Alyssa sitting in it, and opened her arms wide.

‘Come on, then. Let’s go.’

Mia cozied her lanky frame up against her, and Lauren took deep breaths of her beloved daughter’s scent. She was glad that Mia was sitting in front and was unable to see the tears rolling down her cheeks, which almost turned to ice as the sled went downhill. She wrapped her arms around her child very tightly, trying to lock in this feeling forever. Rooting it to the depths of her soul so that she could draw on it during darker moments.

‘I love you, Mia, don’t ever forget that,’ she whispered quietly, and only the soft pressure with which Mia snuggled closer proved that her daughter had heard her.

Lauren had pins and needles in her feet from the cold when they returned to the chalet after spending the entire day outside. She was surprised they had lasted this long. Alyssa simply couldn’t get enough, and even Mia – who ordinarily was way too cool for family outings – had enjoyed herself. Which was all Lauren had ever wished for.

‘Wipe the snow off your boots before you come in!’ Celeste called and wiped her hands on a dishtowel. She was standing by the stove in their spacious mountain cottage, baking pies. To avoid them getting snow and slush on the floor, she now left her place in the kitchen and hurried to help.

‘Grandma, I hit Daddy with a snowball right on his nose!’ Alyssa called, pointing a finger at her own tiny nose that was running from the cold.

‘Goodness, honey, you need a tissue!’ Celeste noted, and took over caring for the little girl while Lauren helped Mia pat the snow off her coat.

‘It was wonderful!’ Lauren gushed and wiggled her toes to breathe life into them.

‘Yeah, but friggin’ freezing!’ Mia added. She glimpsed over in the direction of the kitchen. ‘I could do with a cup of tea.’

Celeste smiled.

‘The tea’s ready – I just hope it’s still hot. I expected you back a lot sooner.’

‘We wanted to make the most of every moment,’ Lauren explained and let out a good yawn. ‘And now we’re all bone-tired.’ She nudged Mia into the bedroom that she shared with her sister, so that she could change her clothes. They all had cold, wet feet and were in urgent need of nice warm pairs of sweatpants.

‘And you look it. Where did you leave Tim?’ Celeste asked, and wiped the melting snow from the hardwood floors with a rag.

‘He’s helping Dad and Ben get wood. Chopping logs does not seem to be Ben’s strong point. Dad yanked the ax from him just as we were getting back. He’s worried Ben might accidentally amputate a limb rather than splitting a log.’

‘Your father has no confidence in your brother whatsoever! How does he imagine Ben ever made it into the professional baseball league?!’ Celeste grumbled and peered out the window.

To everyone’s surprise, no limbs were amputated during the entire week. Mason, especially, was extremely happy about this, because he – as the only doctor in the house – would have had to treat any injuries.

On their last evening, they all sat together and enjoyed the deep connection they each felt for one another. Lauren’s dad seemed relaxed when he put an arm around Lauren and pressed a kiss against her temple. Clearing his throat, he raised his cup of mulled wine.

‘Friends, let’s toast these last few days. Days we all needed and that we’ll hopefully cherish for a very long time. I drink to Lauren, my beloved daughter. I have the greatest respect for her strength, and I would do anything for her.’ He swallowed hard. ‘If only I could, honey, I would do anything to . . .’

Lauren shook her head and embraced him.

‘You’re doing enough, Dad. Don’t worry. I’m fine. This was a wonderful week, and I hope we can do it again sometime soon.’

Her voice became shaky as she said this, but she saw only smiling faces around her.

‘To us!’ Lauren called, putting her cup to her lips. The hot, fruit-infused drink was delicious, and she smiled at Alyssa who was downing her kid’s version of mulled wine all in one go.

As Lauren looked around her circle of friends and family, she felt safe and ready to take on anything that might come at her. She was happy and grateful for every single day she was allowed to spend with these wonderful people – and for every single day that would hopefully follow.

* * *

‘It was such an intense time. We went out and did things all the time and experienced so many unforgettable moments,’ Lauren recalled, happily. That week spent in the mountains seemed like an eternity ago, and yet only a few months had passed.

They all nodded in agreement. Each of them knew how precious those past months had been. They would need to draw strength from them for a long time to come.

Casually, Ben tossed a few more logs into the dying fire, and nobody objected. The night was still young.

‘In fact, back then I felt so good that we threw one of our basic principles overboard – and actually made plans. But we should have known . . .’ Lauren mused gloomily.