As my legion of devoted followers will no doubt remember, The Queen of Aerithraine is one of my best stories and is certainly the story by which I have earned the most coins. Oh to be sure, I have made coins from my other stories as well—The Werewolf’s Maid, The Elven Princess, Prudence the Possessive Pirate, and The Irascible Monkey People—but none so much as The Queen of Aerithraine. It is all the more wonderful a story because it is true, so everyone already knows most of the details.
Aerithraine was a more or less great realm, until about fifty years ago, when the old king died. His name was King Julian the Rectifier, and as he was mostly interested in rectifying, he was accounted a good king. King Julian had only one son, and he passed to that son the strongest and wealthiest kingdom in all of Duaron. That son’s name was King Justin the Unready. King Justin married a princess from the faraway land of Goth. She was a plucky girl named Beatrix with very white skin, very black hair, and a ring through her nose, which is the fashion in the east.
King Justin and Queen Beatrix set about begetting children. They were so busy begetting that they didn’t notice when millions of goblins poured in across the border from the Goblineld. That was the thing that Justin was unready for. The goblins were supported by ogres and trolls and all manner of horrible monsters provided by their ally, The Witch King of Thulla-Zor.
King Justin had four strong sons and another child on the way when he charged off at the head of his army to defeat the goblins. Sadly for him, it was the goblin’s turn to defeat somebody and that somebody turned out to be King Justin. King Justin, his three younger sons, and all of the Dragon Knights were slaughtered—to a man. Prince Jared, the eldest son of the king, who had been in the north fighting sea raiders, hurried his forces south, only to meet the same fate. The goblins were waiting for him. The entire southern third of the kingdom fell—and remained in the goblins’ filthy little hands for almost a generation. And the Goblin King feasted on the spoils of war, sitting on his throne far below the surface of the mountains, drinking his disgusting goblin wine from a cup made from the skull of King Justin.
Queen Beatrix died of a broken heart, just moments after giving birth to her only daughter Elleena Posthuma. With nobles vying among themselves for control of the kingdom, Pope Bartholomew whisked the young princess away to Fall City and had himself appointed as regent. In Fall City, Elleena was kept safe and taught all that she needed to know in order to run a country. At the age of fourteen, she took the crown, exiling the Pope back to his place in the church.
Returning to Illustria, Elleena not only took her throne as queen, but at the age of fifteen, took her place as leader of Aerithraine’s army. At the head of 10,000 knights and men-at-arms, she crushed the bands of goblins that had been terrorizing the lands of the south since her birth. But that wasn’t enough. She led her forces into the Goblineld and deep into the mountainous passages and caverns, killing the goblin king and all but exterminating the little monsters. She would have gone further and attacked Thulla-Zor, but by that time her soldiers had been continuously fighting for more than five years.
So a twenty-one year old queen returned to the capital and led her country to prosperity undreamed of even by her grandfather. The people and nobles of Aerithraine were nervous though. There was no heir to the throne. Suitors came from every corner of Duaron and beyond. Princes from Goth and Lythia brought great gifts and Dukes and Lords from every realm plied the Queen with favors and compliments. Even the King of Theen’s idiot son courted Elleena.
Then when she was twenty-five, Elleena suddenly chose a minor noble from the east. They married quickly and there were two weeks of feasting, and then the little lordling returned to his land and the Queen stayed in Aerithraine. Years passed. There was no heir. The lordling never returned, and people began to say that it was all a ruse, designed by the Queen to remove the pressure for her to marry. There was still no heir. But the Queen led her knights again and again victoriously in battle against Aerithraine’s foes, and the kingdom was more prosperous than it had ever been. So what could anyone say?
That’s a story worth half a crown, don’t you think?