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AFTER TRYING KATE’S number and getting voice mail, I decided to call Epifania, who answered after two rings.
“Hey, studsy to the Rudsy, what you wearing now?” she asked, clearly not aware that it was me on the phone. “Are your pants too tight in the crotch because you thinking about my little meow-meow right now? Epifania want to know, especially after last night, when you came on my—”
“Epifania, it’s me,” I said. “It’s Jennifer. For goodness sake, don’t you check your caller I.D.?”
“Yennifer!” she said. “Well, Heyzeus Cristo, I sure as hell didn’t that time! But consider yourself lucky, lady, because I just gave you a leetle peep show of the kind of phone sex the Rudsy and I have—and I was going to do it right here at the Saks!”
“You’re at Saks?” I said.
“I am! I love the shopping. After all, what else is the dead Chuckie’s money good for, you know?”
“Saks is just a few blocks from Wenn. What are you doing for lunch?”
“Epifania having lunch with you! Where you wanna go, the kitten?”
“Don’t judge...”
“Epifania never yudge no one—except for maybe that beeg beech Immaculata Almendarez. I ran into her last night at this hoitsy to the toitsy party at Henri Dufort’s. She and I had another spat in the ladies room, which I still the laughing at, because I saw what that broad was doing earlier in the night. She was trying to shake down another rich dude, and I called her out on it. She pure poison, that one.”
Alex and I had received an invitation to Henri’s party—but we had to decline because it was so uncomfortable for me to be on my feet for too long. Especially in heels. Still, I would have loved to have seen Henri, if only because I adored him so much.
“So, where you wanna eat?” Epifania said. “Because I been shopping since ten, and this girl is hungry.”
“Have you ever heard of the Comfort Diner?”
“The Come For Dinner?”
“No—the Comfort Diner.”
“Never heard of it. And since when we eat at the diners, anyway?”
“Since about a month ago, when my craving for fried food went through the roof.”
“Oh! This about the baby. Well, honey, if that the case, just tell me where this Comfort Diner is and I’ll meet you there in—what? Thirty minutes?”
“Thirty minutes would be perfect,” I said. “It’s only a few blocks from where you are—214 East 45th Street. I’ll see you there soon—and thank you, Epifania. After this morning, I need a side of fries, a side of mash, a side of eggs Benedict, and even a side order of their delicious comfort quesadilla, which actually will be a full order, but to hell with it. Don’t judge.”
“Baby, I was born on a fucking banana leaf—you know that. So who in the hell am I to yudge? Look, I see you there in the thirty, the cookie. And I can’t wait to kiss your face, because even though I see you only few days ago, I miss your face already!”
“I love you, Epifania.”
“I love you, too, the cookie,” she said. “And guess what? I gonna buy you a bib right now, because it sound to me like you gonna need one!”
“I probably will,” I said in abject shame.
“Don’t worry! It be a classy bib. Swarovski crystals on it—you know, the whole shebang. And just so you know, because Epifania is getting plenty of the sex with the Rudsy, she in a mood today! So you better get ready for that now, because after what the Rudsy did to me last night? Oh, dios mio! At the very least, Epifania hungry for another beeg fat hot dog!”
* * *
WHEN I CALLED DOWN to security for a driver, I specifically asked for Cutter.
“Hi, Jennifer,” he said when he answered. “What’s up?”
“I’m having lunch with Epifania, and Alex won’t allow me to leave here without either Tank or you at my side and behind the wheel. Would you mind driving me?”
“Of course not. Are you leaving now?”
“I’ll be down in five.”
“See you then.”
Yes, you will, I thought. And if you’re open to it, we’re going to talk about the situation you’re in with Daniella when I get there...
When I arrived in the lobby swaddled in my winter coat, gloves, and holding my handbag at my side, Cutter was there to greet me—and I knew at once from the uncomfortable look in his eyes that he knew that I knew that he’d broken it off with Daniella.
I saw embarrassment on his face, which made my heart break for him. Beyond Daniella’s insistence that they find an apartment and move in together, what had she said to him when she didn’t get her way? How ugly had things become between them to make him actually leave her—even if this only was a temporary situation, which I hoped it was. That girl could be a nightmare when she wanted to be, and if she’d really gone off on him as only Daniella could, I knew that there was the very real chance that Cutter might decide to cut his losses sooner rather than later—and choose to leave her for good.
I stepped out of the elevator and gave him a kiss on each cheek.
“How are you?” I asked.
“What’s more important is how you are doing and especially how you are feeling,” he said. “Not long now, right?”
Skillfully dodged...and not taking the bait.
“Cutter, let me just come clean with you now—I feel like a zeppelin. But it is what it is, I guess, right? What matters is that the baby is healthy.”
“And you look healthy. You’ve got that glow, you know?”
“That glow would be my hormones taking over my body and holding it hostage,” I said. “But I appreciate the compliment.”
“It’s well deserved.”
I wanted to keep the moment light between us, so I went for the joke. “You know, before we go, you might want to have someone pack a wheelbarrow in the back of the limo, because after we leave the Comfort Diner, which is where you’re taking me, you might need to wheel me out of that joint. I’m that hungry, Cutter—and no, I have no control over it.”
With a wink, he lifted up his right arm, and flexed his bicep for me through his thick black overcoat—which apparently couldn’t conceal the truth of just how fit he was. “I highly doubt that, ma’am. Former SEAL, and all. I’m good to go in any situation.”
“I know. Remember? I saw you in action on that island. So, please—take me to the golden palace that serves the coveted comfort quesadillas.”
“You’ve got it,” he said.
When we left Wenn, Cutter took me gently by the arm, led me across the busy sidewalk to the car that was double-parked at the curb, and then he opened the rear door and helped me with my seat belt since I couldn’t seem to buckle it on my own. When he was finished, he got behind the wheel and asked me for directions to the diner.
“214 East 45th Street,” I said. “And ASAP!”
“We’re off,” he said as he cut into traffic.
But at this hour, with everyone out for lunch, traffic wasn’t moving, and soon, we found ourselves at a standstill.
“What time were you planning to meet Epifania?” he asked.
“In twenty minutes, but we should be fine. It’s not that far from here.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Traffic is pretty bad.”
“Don’t worry—I’ve got Epifania on speed dial. You know how easygoing she is. She won’t mind waiting if we’re a few minutes late.”
He nodded at me, but when our eyes connected in the rearview mirror, I saw that he quickly looked away.
“Cutter, let’s not do this,” I said.
“Do what?”
“Ignore the elephant in the car—you know, the one that isn’t me. I’m concerned about you. And I’m sorry about whatever happened between you and Daniella. If you want to talk about it, you can always talk about it with me. You know that I’m a vault. If you want to unload on someone, whatever you say to me will remain between us.”
When he didn’t answer, I took that as a positive sign and asked him what had happened.
“How much do you already know?” he sighed.
“Just what Blackwell told me this morning—that Daniella was pressuring you to get an apartment together.”
“We’ve only been seeing each other for a year,” he said.
“Actually, not even a year,” I said. “It’ll be a year on Christmas eve.”
“Exactly. And where I come from? That’s too soon to move in together.”
“And try telling Daniella that, right? Look, Cutter, we all know how she can be. And if you are feeling that anyone is questioning your need for space right now, let me assure you that nobody is. Not even Blackwell, because she—like the rest of us—knows exactly how her daughter can be.”
His gaze flicked up to meet mine in the rearview mirror as we inched forward in traffic. “Barbara isn’t angry with me?”
“Not at all. In fact, if she’s angry with anyone, she’s angry with her daughter for creating this mess.”
“Daniella and I had one hell of an argument, Jennifer. I said some things I probably shouldn’t have said to her.”
“In the heat of the moment, I don’t think there’s anyone who hasn’t said things that they don’t regret. When Alex and I started seeing each other, I believe there was one particularly epic night in which we had our share of words too. In fact, I might have even thrown fistfuls of diamonds at him at a party in front of hundreds of people before I walked out on him—and swore to myself that I’d never see him again. But look at us know—four years of marriage later, and we’re more in love than ever. Oh, and there’s also a baby on the way.”
“You threw diamonds at him?” he asked.
“I did,” I said. “I literally hurled them at him.”
“That doesn’t seem like you at all.”
“I was a lot younger then, and it was a different time in my life. But I don’t regret it, because when I stood up to him? He respected me for it.”
“I had to stand up to Daniella,” he said.
“And it got ugly?”
“Oh, it got ugly.”
“Do you want to talk about it? If you don’t, that’s fine. I just want you to know that as your friend, I care about you. I also know that not everyone is comfortable broaching this subject with you, and that you might feel—”
“I love her!” he said. “I can’t get her out of my mind! But she wants too much from me too fast. Why can’t we just be chill, be in love, and allow our relationship to grow without any pressure?” He cut into the left lane and advanced forward when he could. “You know what? I wanted to be the one who proposed that we should live together. I wanted to have the privilege of that moment, because I’m a traditionalist—just like Tank is. But Daniella? Daniella always has to rule the world. If she can’t, she’s unhappy. When she first came to me with this, I was caught off guard. And do you want to know why?”
I was so riveted by what he was saying, I just stared at him. “Why?”
“Because in a few more months—you know, like in the spring, when it’s actually a good time to move? I was planning to ask her to move in with me. My apartment is huge—we’d have plenty of space.”
“Well, shit,” I said.
“Exactly.”
“But spring is only a few months away. What happened between you that you felt that you needed to have time apart?”
“It’s what she said to me,” he said.
“What did she say?”
“I don’t know if I even want to say it.”
“We’ve gotten this far, haven’t we?”
“I suppose.”
“Look, Cutter, you don’t have to tell me.”
“No. It’s fine. She said that if I didn’t want to find an apartment and move in together, then there was no way in hell that she could believe that I was in love with her. She said that if I didn’t want to live together at this point in our relationship, then we were a sham. Which we’ve never been—at least not as far as I’m concerned.”
Oh, Christ, Daniella—why do you always have to be this way? Why do you always want to destroy the best parts of your life?
“I’m sorry that she said that to you, Cutter.”
“So am I.” When he shrugged, it was out of exasperation and frustration. “Because I’m not going to lie to you. It hurt.”
With an effort, I leaned forward and placed my hand on his shoulder. “I can only imagine that it did.”
“It’ll be OK,” he said in a quiet voice. “But if for some reason we can’t come to terms and I think we should go our separate ways, then it will be OK in time.”
“I hate this,” I said.
“So do I. Because when we were on that island? Don’t think for a moment that I don’t know that it was Daniella who stood by my side and tended to me when I nearly died. Without her help and her love, I likely wouldn’t be here right now. I’d be dead. All of us know that. All of us know what she did for me there. And in my heart? I know that she’s devoted to me and that she loves me. But, Jesus, Jennifer, when she comes on that strong? And when she goes for the jugular? It’s hard. You know?”
“I do know,” I said. “I’ve had my own dealings with her. So let me ask you this—where do you stand with her now?”
“I’m still processing it.”
“Have you two spoken?”
“No.”
“Do you want to speak to her?”
“A part of me wants to take her by the shoulders and shake her—if only so she can see what we have together. But I don’t think she’s capable of seeing that right now. So, no—I don’t want to talk to her just yet. I’d rather that we take a bit of time and reflect on what happened. Then, when we’re ready to talk, we’ll decide where we go from there.”
“Blackwell said that you haven’t spoken in a week. Isn’t that enough time to at least start a conversation?”
“I don’t know—I think I might need a few more days. She keeps texting me and calling me, but I haven’t answered her.”
“What has she said?”
“That she’s sorry.”
“Isn’t that what you want to hear?”
“Of course it is, but does she even mean it? When I told you that we had an argument, Jennifer, I’m not sure you understand just how big that argument was. She said some pretty hateful things to me, which I’m still trying to work through.”
“Alright,” I said. “But if she has apologized—which is a pretty big step for Daniella—she probably means it, so please take that into consideration. All I’m hoping for is that you don’t string her along for too long, OK? Because that would be cruel.”
“I just need to wrap my head around this,” he said. “But I get it. I’ll reach out to her soon.”
“Have you mentioned any of this to Tank?” I asked.
“Hell, no.”
“To anyone else?”
He shook his head. “Talking openly about stuff like this isn’t me. But because I trust you—you know, kind of like a sister, if that doesn’t freak you out—you got me to open up. Generally, I keep quiet about these types of things.”
“Then thank you for trusting in me enough to talk with me,” I said. “Think of me as your surrogate sister, just as Blackwell is my surrogate womb. I hope talking helped.”
“It did.”
“Listen, Cutter. Here’s what I want you to know going forward—what you just said to me will remain between us. I will never betray you. I also want you to know that if you ever need someone to listen to you in the future, I hope that you’ll reach out to me because—unless I’m in labor—I promise that I’ll never be too busy to lend an ear. Deal?”
“You’ve always been kind to me, Jennifer.”
“That’s because after everything we went through together on that island, we are beyond employer and employee at this point. We’re also beyond friends, and I don’t take my friends lightly. If you need me, call me. We’ll can sit down somewhere in private, talk, and try to make sense of the world again. Are you with me on that?”
His gaze flicked up to the rearview mirror and fixed on mine.
“I’m with you,” he said. “And thanks, Jennifer. That means a lot to me.”
“You mean a lot to me.”
“Ditto,” he said. “And guess what?”
“What?”
“I don’t think we’re going to be late, because we just got a green light—and traffic is moving.”
“Thank God,” I said. “Because despite the fact that I look like a float in a Thanksgiving parade, believe it or not—I’m starving.”
