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“WELL, WHAT IS IT?” Blackwell asked. “You must know that we’re eager to know. Is it a boy or a a girl? The suspense is killing me!”
“It’s killing me too,” Lisa said.
“Don’t I get a vote in here somewhere?” I said. “Shouldn’t I get to know before either of you two do?”
“Always so selfish,” Blackwell said dismissively.
And then I looked at Alex, whose expression said that he already knew the baby’s sex—though I couldn’t exactly read what he knew. As he moved in closer to cut the umbilical cord, I saw how bright his eyes were—nearly brimming with tears—and then I heard him say, “He’s perfect.” He looked at me quickly when he said that. “Ten fingers. Ten toes. Two balls.”
“If they’re anything like yours, it’s no wonder I could barely push him out,” I said.
“Jennifer,” Lisa said.
“Well, it’s true. Because when it comes to Alex, you have no idea just how big his—”
“I know that you’re probably somewhere on Mars right now, but you might want to check yourself,” she said.
“Too much information?”
“To say the least.”
“Aiden is perfect, Jennifer,” Alex said.
“Alex, we had a boy,” I said as I looked up at him.
“We did.”
“I can’t believe it,” I said.
“Neither can I.”
“You’ve just given your husband an heir,” Blackwell said. “Well done, my darling girl. Well done!”
Alex looked at me. “I would have been just as happy if it had been a girl. Maybe that will happen the next time...”
“And how about if we talk about the next time a year or so from now?” I said, my voice barely a whisper due to the sheer exhaustion I was feeling. “You know, when I’ve pretty much forgotten how excruciating this was.”
I watched in wonder as Dr. Grace suctioned the liquid from my son’s lungs, and when she was finished, Aiden suddenly cried out with a sound that was so piercing, it was as reassuring as it was liberating. No child with those kind of lungs could be in harm’s way, even if I had delivered him two weeks early.
As the nurses took over and went through the motions of weighing, measuring, and preparing to deliver him clean to me, I became overwhelmed by the idea that with Aiden here, Alex and I finally had become a family. Moved, I watched Aiden squirm on the table and I saw him flush pink with oxygen as air and blood started to rush through his system. Despite my concerns about giving birth early, he appeared to be fine. In fact, no one was acting as if he wasn’t.
“He’s beautiful,” I said as I watched him. “Just beautiful.”
“Well,” Blackwell said with emotion in her voice. “I’m so happy for both of you right now, I hope you don’t mind if I shed a tear or two. Because this? This is something. It might not be Christmas yet, but after what you two have been through—especially today—it’s a miracle. I’m so happy for you right now, I could pop out of my Chanel.”
“Well, please save us from that,” Lisa said to her. “Because that’s something nobody needs to see.”
Before Blackwell could respond, Lisa leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “You did it,” she said. “Just as I knew you would. You and Alex now have a baby boy—and Aiden is the perfect name. It’s the best name—a powerful name. The name of a hero and a warrior. I had no idea what name you two had chosen coming into this, but now I know the exact reason why you chose Aiden, and it’s for the best reason possible.”
“I have two heroes in my life,” I said to her. “The first is Alex. He’s been my hero for five years. My absolute rock. The one man I never could do without. The second is Aiden Gardner, the man who saved me from my father. And now we have Aiden Alexander Wenn. May he live long, may he be kind, may he be a force in the world, and may he find the kind of love that his parents found.”
“May it be so,” Lisa said.
“I love you,” I said to her. And then I looked at Blackwell, who was discreetly wiping away tears. “And I also love you, you old softie.”
“Old?” she said defiantly to me. “It took you two straight hours of pushing to release Aiden into the world. I could have gotten the job done in thirty minutes. So don’t call me ‘old,’ girl.”
We looked at each other for a moment when she said that, and then we laughed in relief that this was over.
“Alex,” Dr. Grace said after she’d looked over our son. “Would you like to hold your son?”
“Are you serious?” he said. “Of course I want to hold my son.”
“Well, here he is,” she said as she presented Aiden to him. “I believe he might even have your dimples.”
“Seriously?” Alex said.
“When he smiled at me a moment ago, I saw them in each cheek. So, here,” she said as she held out Aiden to him. “Take him. Hold him. Welcome him.”
Alex took Aiden into his arms so gently, it looked as though he was holding the most fragile thing on the planet.
“He’s beautiful,” Alex said as he looked down at Aiden. “Perfect.”
“Congratulations to both of you,” Dr. Grace said. “For the record, Aiden is seven-and-a-half pounds and twenty-three inches long. From my initial assessment, he is perfectly healthy. And just look at how he’s looking at his father right now—he’s captivated by Alex. So, good on both of you. Jennifer, you did it,” she said. “You came through like a champ, as did your friends and Alex. All of them were rooting for you today.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Jennifer,” Alex said as I watched him touch our son’s cheek with the tip of his index finger. “Nothing. My wife and our son mean everything to me. I’d move mountains to protect them...”
My heart swelled when he said that, and I felt Lisa take my hand and squeeze it when he did.
“Thank you,” I said to Dr. Grace. “I don’t think we ever could have done any of this without your kindness, patience, or guidance. I know that I’ve been a pain in the ass at times, but I hope you know that it’s only because—”
“Stop right there,” she said. “You went into this pregnancy worried about it for reasons that everyone knows. But all of that is behind us now. What happened with your last pregnancy can never be forgotten, Jennifer, but now it might be best to move away from grief and embrace the present.”
“I agree,” I said.
“Would you like to hold your son?” Alex said to me.
“Oh, I would,” I said. “I really would.”
With Aiden held tight in Alex’s arms, he came over to me, and then he leaned down and delivered our son to me. In a fog of wonderment, I looked at what Alex and I had created together—and I just sighed. He was a beautiful child. A handsome boy. One who already had a thick head of dark hair.
“What color are his eyes?” I asked as I looked up at Alex and my doctor. “They’re closed now. Does anyone know? Has anyone seen them?”
“I did,” Dr. Grace said. “And right now, they are the bluest of blues. Over time, that might change. They’ll either remain as blue as Alex’s or become as dark brown as yours. Or maybe somewhere in between. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
Blackwell and Lisa moved in closer to look at him, and after they’d spent a moment with Aiden, Alex claimed my mouth with his own. Immediately, Lisa and Blackwell stepped back while Alex and I kissed each other deeply. We told each other that we loved each other, and with one fierce kiss, I felt reenergized, despite how bone-tired I was.
“I love you,” I said.
“Words can’t describe how much I love you, Jennifer,” he said.
“And I love you,” I said in Aiden’s ear. “Every bit as much as I love your father, your grandmother, and your aunt. Thank God that you’re with us now. Thank God that you’re finally here.”
When Aiden opened his eyes and looked up at me, I saw that his eyes were indeed a bright, liquid blue before he closed them and made a gurgling sound that resounded throughout me.
So this was it. It was official. I was a mother and my husband was a father. Just like that, the three of us were a family. At that moment, it was so much to process, I burst into tears that we’d somehow gotten here after all that we’d been through.
“Here,” Blackwell said. “Let me help you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“This is emotional for all of us, but especially for you and Alex. You’re shedding tears of relief and happiness, so while you give yourself over to those emotions, why don’t you give Aiden to his grandmother? Because he might drown if you continue to hold him. Come on. Place him in my arms. Take some time to absorb this moment and feel all of it so that you remember it forever. Because I can tell you this, my dear—you will never experience anything like this again. Not when it comes to your first child—I can promise you that.”
I didn’t say anything when she took Aiden from me. I was too overwhelmed to respond.
Until I heard Blackwell talk to my son.
“Well, look at you,” she said in a light voice as she cradled Aiden in her arms. “Just look at how special you are! Dark hair. Skin as soft as silk. And just look at those eyes of yours, Aiden. My goodness! Grandmother can see them now. They’re just as blue as your father’s.”
“Barbara,” I said to her. “I haven’t even asked you yet, but will you take on that role? Will you be his grandmother? Every bit as much as I think of you as my real mother?”
“Whatever happened to me being your surrogate womb?” she asked.
“Maybe I just found a better name for it.”
“Nothing would make me prouder, my love. For reasons we both know well, I will forever be the only grandmother this child knows. And trust me on this—I plan to spoil the devil out of him.”
“And Lisa?” I asked as I looked up at her. “Will you be his aunt?”
“With pleasure, Jennifer. I’d be thrilled to be his aunt.”
“Then you also should hold him,” Blackwell said as she handed Aiden to Lisa. “But be forewarned, because you’re about to fall in love.”
When I saw my best friend from my childhood holding my newborn baby close to her heart and I heard her say that she loved him, I became a weeping mess without shame.
Right now, my real family was around me—just as it was meant to be—but never had I imagined that I would become so emotional. I closed my eyes and tried to blink through my tears as my husband and my two closest friends kissed me and gave me their best support. But there was no stopping the flow—the tears I cried came from a place of pure joy, and so I just let them come, because after Aiden and the love that surrounded him now, they were the purest things in the room.
Over a year ago, I’d lost a child, but now I had this child, and he was such a gift, it was humbling. Alex and I had tried so hard to get pregnant, I never thought that I’d have this opportunity again.
Alex and I would give Aiden the best life possible. He would never experience what I’d had to endure from my parents or what Alex had gone through with his. He would be loved—completely and unconditionally. Nothing less.
But there was more—so much more. As I looked up at Blackwell and Lisa, who were cooing over Aiden, I felt a love for my two closest friends that was unparalleled. Blackwell would indeed be my child’s grandmother—not my real mother. That never would be the case. And since Lisa had always been a sister to me, naturally she would be Aiden’s aunt.
And then it occurred to me—Aiden also needed a godmother.
“Lisa,” I said. “Would you also be Aiden’s godmother?”
“Of course I will.”
“Do you think that Tank would agree to be his godfather?” Alex asked.
“That’s the thing,” Lisa said. “After all these years, I’m not exactly sure where Tank and I stand.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Never mind,” she said. “I shouldn’t have even said that. This moment isn’t about me.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s too complicated, and now isn’t the time to discuss it. Trust me. Today is about you, Alex, and Aiden—not about me and Tank.”
“Is there something going on between you?” Blackwell asked.
“I’ve already said that this isn’t about me.”
“Tell us what’s on your mind because you are clearly upset,” Blackwell said.
Lisa looked hard at her, but when I nodded at her to go ahead, her shoulders slumped. “I don’t mean to bring down the room, but it’s been two years since Tank and I got engaged. It’s been two years since I’ve tried to nail down a date for a wedding, but he just continues to avoid the issue. If he won’t commit to a date soon, I’m fairly sure he’ll never commit. And I can’t do that. I’m not getting any younger, and I won’t be strung along.”
“Are you saying that you’re going to leave him?” Blackwell said. “Because that man does love you. I know in my heart that he does.”
“Then why aren’t we married, Barbara? It’s been over two years since he proposed to me. Every time I suggest a date, he dodges the conversation.”
“When was the last time you brought this up with him?”
“A week ago.”
“And he didn’t commit to anything?”
“No—he didn’t.”
“So, what’s the issue?”
“I haven’t shared my feelings about this with any of you because I didn’t want to turn it into something that it wasn’t, but it’s starting to become something that’s weighing on my mind. If he doesn’t agree to set a date by the end of the month, I’ve decided to give him back his ring and start dating again. Because after witnessing what happened here today, I know that this is what I want. A good man, kids, and a family. If Tank continues to balk, then we’re going to have to part ways. I’m thirty now. I’m not getting any younger. I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship, which hasn’t moved forward at all since he put a ring on my finger and I moved in with him. I think he’s gotten too comfortable with our arrangement. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m the one for him.”
“Oh, Lisa,” I said.
“It’s true,” she said. “How long is a girl supposed to stay engaged with no endgame in sight?”
“Not as long as you two have,” Blackwell said. “So here’s the thing, Lisa. As much as I love that man, I also love you. No one should expect you to wait forever for Tank to come around. That said, if I were you, I would give him a bit more time. How about if you make it clear to him that he has another six months to make this official? Otherwise, and as painful as it might be for you, I think you are correct. Something isn’t right. If he has cold feet, what’s the reason? Because I can tell you this—having cold feet is never the way to enter into a marriage.”
“I agree,” Lisa said. “But he won’t talk to me. Something’s holding him back, and he won’t come clean with me. He just keeps giving me excuses. I’m the one who’s too busy writing. I’m the one who has the occasional book tour. I’m the one who’s under contract to deliver the next book. And meanwhile, he claims that he’s too busy with his work. He keeps saying that everything is too crazy right now to get married, when it really isn’t. Blah, blah, blah. I’m over it.”
“Then give him an ultimatum,” Blackwell said. “But listen to me—if you do give him one and he simply gives in and agrees to marry you, you need to make damned sure that he wants that marriage every bit as much as you do. If he’s just placating you, move on, because he should only marry you if he feels in his heart that he wants to. I know that Tank served in wars overseas. I know that he saw friends die in battle. Could it be that he has PTSD? That might be a reason he’s finding it difficult to commit. All I know is that he loves you. On the other hand, I also know that you need to know why he’s balking. You need to get to the bottom of this, and sooner rather than later.”
“I hadn’t thought about his time in the war,” she said. “Or what part of himself he might have lost there.”
“Then consider it, and consider how it might be affecting your relationship with him now.”
“I’m sorry,” Lisa said to me and Alex. “I didn’t mean for this moment to turn into mine.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “And I think that Barbara is right. Talk with Tank. Set your limits for a date. If he refuses to give you one, I’m afraid that I also agree. As much as I’d hate for it to happen, you might need to rethink your relationship with him.”
“But I love him!” she said.
“At what cost?” Alex interjected. “Look, Lisa, I knew that I wanted to marry Jennifer as soon as I fell in love with her. It was a no-brainer for me. So why after all of these years is it so difficult for Tank to do the same? Tank is my best friend, but I have to agree with everyone else. I think that you need to find out what the issue is. And if only for your own wellbeing, I also think you need to decide whether he’s the one for you.”
“I’m not going to talk with him about this now,” she said. “Not this close to Christmas. I’ll talk with him after the New Year, because if I do it now, I’ll just ruin Christmas for everyone, which I won’t have.”
“So?” I said to her. “You’ll do it at the beginning of the New Year.”
“I will,” she said. “Given how long we’ve been engaged, what’s the big deal in waiting another few weeks? But what I need all of you to do is promise me that you won’t mention any of this to him. Don’t tip him off. Don’t try to encourage him to hurry up and move forward on this because I might be considering moving on. If he wants to set date, I need to know that it came from his heart. OK?”
We all agreed that we’d say nothing to Tank.
“Thank you for that,” Lisa said. “Because when I do talk to him about this, I don’t want him to have been pressured by anyone else first. Whatever he says has to come from his own heart—just like Barbara said. I will talk to him about this after the New Year. I’ll give him an ultimatum, and if he continues to hesitate?” At that moment, she just shrugged so sadly that Blackwell put her arm around her shoulders.
“Then we’re finished,” Lisa said. “Tank and I will be done. I’ve been waiting too long to be married to him. If he’s not ready now, then he’ll never be ready. Jesus,” she said as she blinked away tears. “I just can’t do this anymore!”
“You don’t have to,” Blackwell said.
“Tell me that you think he’ll come around,” Lisa begged. “Tell me that I haven’t wasted more than two years of my life on a man who doesn’t want to marry me.”
“I wish I could tell you that, my dear, but I can’t. I never lie, and I’d certainly never lie to you about something as important as this.”
Lisa looked down at the ring on her left hand before she glanced away, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and left the room without another word except for the choked sobs that followed in her wake.
