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A WEEK LATER, IT WAS the morning of Christmas eve, and Alex and I were home with Aiden as a host of decorators adorned the massive Christmas tree standing tall in the living room. They were busy stringing lights and hanging a host of beautiful ornaments while I sat with Aiden in my arms on the sofa and looked on.
In the kitchen, the three chefs we’d hired were whipping up canapés for the night ahead, while later, two waiters would arrive to offer our guests food and cocktails.
Alex and I we were so busy with the baby, we’d had no choice but to streamline our holiday plans. It had been a difficult decision to make, but after being with Aiden, who wasn’t sleeping through the night, we now knew the full length of our limits.
With so many sleepless nights under our belts, there was no way that we could do Christmas eve and Christmas day with our friends—regardless of whatever help we hired.
With Aiden so restless, we were exhausted. Christmas eve would go on as planned—we’d make a grand party out of it—but Christmas day would just be the three of us here at home—Alex, Aiden, and me. When I delivered the news to our friends, not one of them blinked. Instead, they understood completely.
We were blessed.
“Coffee?” Alex asked as he entered the room in a white T-shirt and black sweatpants. In his hands were two steaming mugs, which I could smell even before they reached me.
“Yes, please,” I said, motioning to the coffee table in front of me. “But just the one. As you know, until I stop breast-feeding, I can only have one.”
“Then one it is,” he said as he sat down next to me. He looked over at Aiden, who was asleep in my arms. “Someone appears to have finally given himself over to the dark side,” he said after he kissed me.
“He’s happiest when he’s with either one of us,” I said in a soft voice. “Whether he’s in my arms or yours, that’s when he sleeps best.”
“How are you holding up?”
“I could ask you the same thing. This week hasn’t only been hard on me, Alex. It’s also been hard on you.”
“I’m OK,” he said. “In fact, I’m good. And happy. I’m especially happy to have us here as a family. That’s what I’m most grateful for.” He looked over at the tree. “I’m also happy to be looking at Aiden’s first Christmas tree. By the way, how tall is it?”
“Twelve feet.”
“It’s as big as it is beautiful.”
“I just wish that we were decorating it,” I said. “Since Aiden decided to come early, I feel as if all of this is impersonal.”
At that, he stood up.
“There are boxes of ornaments in front of us,” he said. “How about if you hold Aiden and direct me where to place a few ornaments? We can still have a hand in this, Jennifer.”
Could I love you more?
“Game on,” I said.
While the decorators worked their magic, Alex simply joined in. He removed a large blue-and-silver globe from a box and asked me where he should put it.
“There,” I said, nodding toward a branch that had nothing on it but lights. “No, no—to the right. Yes, that branch right there. Put it on the tip.”
“Done.”
“And now you,” I said. “Take an ornament and place it on the tree wherever you want.”
He chose a beautiful silver star, hooked it around a higher branch that was near the top of the tree and then looked at me. “How about if we each choose one for Aiden?”
Somewhere in those boxes is a silver Teddy Bear ornament. I bought it for this moment.”
“This one?” he asked after he searched a bit.
“That’s the one!”
“Where do you think Aiden would like it?”
“Oh, come on! Our boy would want it front and center.”
“You’ve got it.”
And when Alex placed the ornament in the center of the tree, I watched him turn to me with a sense of accomplishment, and I knew something else—I truly did have the best husband in the world.
* * *
“WHAT ARE YOU WEARING tonight?” Blackwell asked me when she called two hours later. I’d just laid Aiden down for a nap, and for the love of God, somehow he was actually sleeping. He was lying flat on his back in his crib, which for now was situated in our bedroom at the foot of our bed.
“Give me a second,” I whispered.
“I understand,” she said.
When I was certain that Aiden was still asleep, I left the room, closed the door a bit, and then walked down the hallway.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“You sound tired...”
“Both of us are tired.”
“You’ve had no time to think about what to wear tonight, have you?”
“Please. It’s all I can do to feed Aiden, let alone answer the staff’s questions. Alex is doing his best to help me with all of it, but we’re just barely keeping up.”
“I should have come,” she said. “I should have offered to help.”
“That would defeat the purpose,” I said. “Tonight is for our friends.”
“How are things progressing?”
“Well, the tree is up,” I said. “In fact, the tree is being decorated as we speak. And in the kitchen there are three chefs working their asses off at the last minute to make sure that everyone eats well tonight.”
“You took on too much.”
“But we wanted to do this.”
“You might feel otherwise tomorrow, my dear.”
“It’s just one day—we can get through it. And since Christmas day and Christmas dinner has been canned, it’s the least that Alex and I can do after all of the support we’ve received from our friends. We want our extended family around us tonight. Probably more than ever.”
“Well, that I do understand.”
“You know, I’ve been so caught up with Aiden, I haven’t followed through on Daniella’s situation with Cutter. Has she heard from him yet?”
“Not a word.”
“Really? Not even a text?”
“Not even a text.”
“Well, damn it,” I said, feeling disappointed in him.
“Mind your language—you have a newborn in the house.”
“Noted.”
“Have you heard from Cutter?” she asked. “After all, you did invite him to tonight’s party, so you must have heard something.”
“That’s the thing. Even though I’m pretty much his boss, he won’t give me a direct answer. He said, and I quote, ‘Jennifer, you know what’s going on between Daniella and me. I hope you understand if I don’t come. If I change my mind, I hope I’ll be welcomed.’”
“Well, there’s that,” she said.
“Which piles up to a whole lot of nothing. Clearly, he’s still on the fence when it comes to their relationship. Has Daniella continued to try to reach out to him? Or has she given up?”
“My daughter is not one to give up. She continues to leave text and voice messages. But he won’t return any of them.”
“Has she confronted him in person?” I asked. “If I were her, I would have done that a week ago.”
“She doesn’t dare to. She still wants to give him the space he apparently needs.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said. “Look, I love Cutter, but this has been going on for far too long. He needs to man up. Either he’s in this with Daniella, or he’s out.”
“Daniella is an adult, Jennifer. I can’t force her to do what’s right—you know that. You also know how she can be. A week ago, I asked her if she was going to confront him, and she waffled. Since then, I’ve just backed off.”
“Well, I’m still rooting for them,” I said.
“Who isn’t? They make a wonderful couple. But they each need to grow up and come to terms with whether this ends or goes forward.”
“He might come tonight,” I said.
“Don’t plan on it. If he hasn’t given you a direct answer by now, I’d say that its unlikely. So, as ugly as it will be, expect another meltdown from my daughter if he doesn’t come. Because I can tell you this, Jennifer—she’s really hoping that he will come.”
“And if he does come, she’ll just awaken Aiden—assuming that he’s even asleep.”
“For that reason alone, I’ve told her that if she’s going to freak out, she has to do so outside. Alexa has agreed to take her to the elevator if it appears that Cutter has no plans to show. Daniella will be at her most vulnerable and volatile then, and Alexa will talk with her outside—so that Daniella doesn’t spoil your party.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“My pleasure—she is my daughter, after all. Now, back to my first question—what are you wearing tonight?”
“I have no idea what to wear,” I said. “I’m a week out after giving birth, and while I tried my best to keep in shape during the pregnancy, let’s face it—I don’t have the body I had before I had Aiden.”
“That’s what Spanx are for,” she said. “So listen to me now.”
“I’m trying to get into my Zen place, but it isn’t happening.”
“Then, so be it.” She proceeded to tell me exactly how to do my hair and makeup, and also what to wear. “Trust me. Wear that dress and those shoes, and you’ll look fabulous tonight.”
“You want me to wear those shoes?” I said. “Jesus, Barbara, they have five-inch heels. I might topple over.”
“Then I suggest that you don’t drink.”
“I’m nursing,” I said. “I can only have one drink...”
“Which is just right for the heels alone.”
“But the jewelry,” I said. “What you’re suggesting is too over the top.”
“Might I remind you that this is a Christmas eve party?” she said. “You know, where one wears that kind of jewelry? For God’s sake, Jennifer, you need to out-glitter the damned Christmas tree of yours. So don’t argue with me on this. Just do as I say, and you’ll be fine and look smashing. Now, about your temporary nanny. Have you heard anything from her? I know that when I suggested that service to you, it was at the last minute...”
Through an elite, well-respected service Blackwell had recommended to us, Alex and I had indeed hired a nanny for the evening. All I knew about her is that her name was Helga, she’d been with this particular service for over thirty years, and she was considered among the city’s best.
I told Blackwell what I knew.
“Count your lucky charms that you got that one, sweetie,” Blackwell said. “Because Helga is known far and wide in Manhattan. Totally respected—even considered a force of nature. Aiden will be in the best of hands this evening—despite Helga’s idiosyncrasies...”
“Her what?”
“Anyway, I’ll see you tonight,” she said in a rush, and before I could press her on what those idiosyncrasies were—suddenly the line went dead.
