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LATER, WHEN HELGA ARRIVED at five o’clock sharp, the woman who stood before me in the foyer was petite, in her early sixties, and with a knot of graying hair held tightly at the back of her neck in a stern bun. As strict and humorless as she came off when we introduced ourselves, I nevertheless felt a sense of relief when I took her to one of the upstairs bedrooms that was off the master suite. Tonight, this is where Aiden would sleep until the party was over so that Alex and I could get ready in our bedroom without Helga around.
And the moment Helga saw Aiden? She beamed.
“This baby boy?” she said in what sounded to me like a Russian accent.
“Yes,” I whispered, not wanting to wake him. “This is Aiden. And just so you know, Helga, he’s a very light sleeper, as in a very, very, very light sleeper. So light that Alex and I have barely gotten any sleep since we first came home. So trust me on this—it’s best that you keep your voice to a whisper. Otherwise, he might wake up...”
“He so cute,” she interrupted. “Look at that face. And look at how his tiny, little hands held up close to his chin. What a baby boy. What a handsome boy. What a beautiful boy you have brought into world.”
After she gushed over him, she turned to me with a cool gaze and a raised eyebrow. “You already pump for this evening?”
At first, I was startled by the question.
“Did you pump?” she said again.
“I’m sorry?”
“I need to know whether you pump or didn’t pump,” she said. “There’s no shame in the pumping. So let me be clear here—you pump, right? You got the milk for me? Because Helga going to need the milk. Otherwise? Helga going to have to come for you.”
“I pumped!” I said. “In fact, I pumped throughout the day. It’s all right there in the fridge.”
“What fridge?”
I pointed at the small stainless-steel refrigerator next to the crib.
“It’s in there,” I said.
“Is it an ‘its’ or is it a ‘they’?”
“There are three bottles in there. All of them chilling,” I said.
“Well, that good. That should get us through the evening.” She wrinkled her brow at me. “Have you fed him by bottle before?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I only gave birth to him seven days ago. He was three weeks early. We had this party planned several weeks ago—we just decided to go through with it so we didn’t disappoint our friends. I’ve been nursing Aiden ever since I gave birth to him, just as my doctor suggested.”
She flicked a glance at me.
“Then we might have problem,” she said.
“What problem?”
“Boy want nipple!”
I lifted a finger to my lips. “Please, lower your voice. We can’t wake him now. It took me forever to put him down.”
“Fine,” she said in a softer voice. “But I tell you—boy want nipple.”
“But I have guests coming over,” I said. “I can’t nurse him until after they’ve left. In the meantime, can’t we just fake him out?”
“No faking boy out. Boy will know real nipple from fake nipple. And boy will question it. When he does? Boy unhappy. Boy cry.”
“Isn’t there anything we can do to prevent that from happening?”
She looked at me for a long, calculating moment before she shrugged. “Helga has her tricks,” she said. “Like warming up bottle and bottle’s nipple with tap water before I feed him. Vaseline on the nipple also sometimes work—it soothing to the boy. There are other things I can do, but there no guarantee that they work. Still, I try.”
“OK...”
“If he cry, I walk him around room. I even sing to him in hopes that he settle down so you can go on with party.”
“You sing?” I said.
“Of course I sing. In fact, I sing him little Russian lullabies. They soothe him. Now, where are diapers? Where is changing table? Do you have rocking chair for me? Blankets for me? These are necessary.”
Since I didn’t want to look like a negligent mother, I went out of my way to show her that I had all of those things ready for her, but since that wasn’t enough, I endured more questions until she finally stood before me with her hands on her hips.
“Helga ready,” she said. “Don’t worry about baby boy—boy in good hands now.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Enjoy party.”
“I’ll try...”
“And you should try. You just give birth. But listen to Helga for a moment. Listen close, because you need to know this—don’t forget Spanx.”
When she said that, I just stared at her.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t forget Spanx. You need them. Everyone know you need them.”
“I—are you serious?”
“A Miss Barbara Blackwell phoned after I got job and told me to remind you to wear them. She so concerned that you forget to wear them that she demanded I remind you to wear them. I not even know what these Spanx are, but I was told you need to wear them so you look thinner. So there we are. Just doing my job.”
“I see,” I said. “Well, thank you for reminding me, Helga. I appreciate it.”
“Good. Now go. You have party to get ready for. Helga take it from here. Your boy be fine. When he wake, he and I bond.”
“I hope that you do.”
“Children love me.”
Seriously...?
“You don’t say?”
“Everyone say. So off you go. If I need you tonight, how I contact you?”
“Do you have a cell phone?”
“It twenty-first century, no?”
“In fact, it is...”
“Helga have cell.”
“Of course you have a cell.”
I gave her the house number and told her to call it if she needed anything.
“That’s our landline,” I said. “My staff will contact me immediately should you need me for whatever reason. I’ll be up within a minute.”
“Let us hope that don’t happen,” she said. “Because it could ruin evening.”
Without a word, I just nodded.
“You go,” she said. “Helga got this.”
And with that instruction, I simply nodded at her before I left.
* * *
“WELL,” I SAID TO ALEX when I stepped into our master suite and then closed the door behind me. Across the room, Alex was shining his shoes on top of one of the bureaus. “Helga certainly is interesting...”
He glanced at me over his shoulder.
“Her name is ‘Helga’?”
“It’s Helga.”
“Is Helga interesting in a good way or in a bad way?” he asked after he kissed me as I put my arm around his waist. He was wearing nothing but his boxers, and as I touched his velvety skin, I felt a shiver run through me.
After all these years, you still turn me on, Mr. Wenn...
“I think in a good way.”
“That’s not exactly the definitive answer I was seeking...”
“That’s because I can’t give you one,” I said. “But she’s officially Blackwell-approved, which has to mean something, right? At first, Helga seemed completely humorless to me, but the moment when she laid eyes on Aiden, it was like the Christ child had just entered the room. She literally swooned over him, and since it was clear that her reaction was genuine, I think we’re good for tonight. Though I will say this—I think that Helga likes babies a hell of a lot more than she likes adults.”
“Thus her longtime position as a nanny,” Alex said as he held up a shoe and checked its polish in the light.
“I gave her the house number just in case she needs me,” I said. “I’ll ask the staff to let me know if and when she calls.”
When I said that, he turned to me. “What about me?” he asked. “We’re a couple when it comes to raising Aiden, Jennifer. This isn’t the 1950s anymore. You and I are in this together. I plan on being involved in raising him as much as possible.”
Could I love you even more than at this moment? I thought.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Should Helga call, I’ll ask the staff to grab whomever is closer.”
“Good,” he said. “So what are you wearing tonight? I’ll be in a tux.”
“And thank God for that,” I said. “You know that I love you in one.”
“And how about you?”
“A black evening gown that Blackwell thought I should wear, some ridiculously tall heels, and apparently one motherlode of jewelry because, as far as Blackwell is concerned, I’m supposed to out-tinsel the Christmas tree.”
“If anyone can do it, you can.”
I checked the time on my watch. “I need to take a shower,” I said. “As in right now. It’s five-thirty. People will start arriving at seven.”
He put down his shoe.
“Want some company?”
“Mr. Wenn?” I said. “Is that even appropriate? I’m in your employ...”
“Consider it a directive,” he said.
“Well, then, Mr. Wenn. I’d love some company.”
“And how about later, when everyone is gone?”
The moment he said that, the spell broke.
“But what if Aiden fusses?” I said. “That would just ruin everything.”
He took my hand in his as we started to walk toward the master bath.
“Here’s what I’ve been thinking,” he said. “How about if I ask Helga to stay the night? If she agrees, we’ll put her in the bedroom farthest from our bedroom, so there’s no way that she can hear me going down on you or making love to you. How does that sound?”
“Like the best Christmas present ever,” I said. “My hormones are still pulsing through me, Alex. They haven’t abated. Sometimes, I think about nothing else than making love to you.”
“Then allow me to take care of that,” he said with a grin. “And look, I’ll pay Helga whatever she wants to stay the night. I’ll go all ‘Godfather’ on her and give her an offer she can’t refuse, because you and I not only need this time with our friends, but we also need to spend some serious time together after they’re gone.”
“You’re on,” I said.
“Perfect. After our shower, I’ll speak with Helga.”
He swatted my ass when he said that, I let out a genuine girly squeal of delight, and soon Alex and I were standing beneath the hot shower, with him rubbing the tension out of my shoulders just as I felt something else start to rub against my ass...
