| |
“WELL,” BLACKWELL SAID to me when everyone had left the living room for the library to enjoy some food and conversation. “Whatever you said to my daughter put her in a better mood—I could see the transformation while you were talking with her. And by the way—what exactly did you say to her?”
I told her what I’d said.
“As usual, right on point. Because after so many weeks of having been silent, Cutter not only has skin in this game, but he also has some explaining to do. Not to mention an apology for my daughter. Either he’s in this relationship, or he isn’t. It’s time for him to make a decision, I’d say.”
“I agree. But enough of that. I want tonight to be light and free for everyone here. So how about this? What do you think of the tree?”
With her martini in hand, I watched Blackwell walk around the tree with her head held just a bit too high before she turned to face me with an arched eyebrow. “If you were thinking ‘drag queen’ when you had it decorated, then let’s just say you succeeded spectacularly.”
“Drag queen?” I said. “The tree doesn’t look like a drag queen.”
“Really?” she said. “Is that so? Then tell me, Jennifer. Why is it that each time I look at it, I want to call it Orna Mint...?”
“Hilarious,” I said.
“Well, it’s true.”
“You know, you should just take that one right out on the road with the rest of your one-liners,” I said. “Because I have a feeling that you’ve been waiting all night to deliver that line to me.”
“So what if I have? As you know, I’ve been given the gift of wit...”
“Then by all means, share it with the world.”
“And what if I did? You know, I can see it now,” she said as she arced her hand across her face. “Think of it—my own bus and truck tour throughout the U.S., Canada, and parts of Europe, such as Berlin and Paris, where they’d understand me. Imagine my name in twinkling lights—BLACKWELL—just ‘Blackwell,’ because like ‘Cher’ and ‘Madonna,’ I only need one name. Think of the people flocking to hear my je ne sais quoi. Think of the people coming from far and wide to see what I might say and or what I might wear next. As for refreshments, naturally ice would be offered at a nominal fee...”
“Are you finished?” I asked.
“Of course I am,” she said. “After the wrecking ball known as my daughter, I was just trying to have a bit of fun. As for the tree—it’s big and it’s bold and it’s fabulous. Thank you for having us tonight. And even if you did hire help, I know that pulling this together for your friends couldn’t have been easy on Alex and you. Not with Aiden so new to your lives.”
“Let’s just call all of this a necessary distraction,” I said. “Because sometimes? When Aiden really gets on a roll? A distraction is needed.”
“He’s not sleeping?”
“He sleeps whenever Alex or I hold him, which we love because that’s when we get to hold him the closest. As for the rest of the time—it’s spotty at best.”
“Then I’m impressed,” she said.
“With what?”
“You’re not sleeping well, and yet you show up looking like this—stunning. It’s as if Bernie had his way with you. I don’t want to know how much concealer you’re wearing under your eyes, Jennifer, but you look terrific. Way to go, my love. Now, before everyone else arrives and while I have you here alone, let me ask you—how are you feeling after your mother’s theatrics?”
“You mean after her abject betrayal of me?”
“Yes—that.”
“I’m OK,” I said. “She’s been paid off—Alex saw to that. And thanks to Wenn legal, Ava had to sign a document to keep her mouth shut about every rotten thing she threatened me with unless she wanted to face a lawsuit. And she did sign it,” I said. “And when she signed it, she also signed the back of the check. What’s done is done.”
“And so it is,” Blackwell said. “I’m happy that’s behind you.”
“As am I.” I lifted my drink to her and we touched glasses. “But thank you for asking. And if you don’t mind me saying so again, thanks for being the mother I never had.”
“You know, there’s also something in this for me. I think that you might be the most well-behaved daughter I have...”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Alexa could give me a run for the money.”
“In a few years, she might. But not quite yet.”
“You’re being kind. Alexa has never put you through the kind of hell that I’ve put you through.”
“But that’s to be expected, isn’t it? Alexa isn’t married to a billionaire fraught with his share of enemies. You are.”
And so I was, not that I’d change it for the world. Alex was my life. He was my lover and my best friend.
And just days ago, he’d become the father to our first child. I loved them both so much, sometimes it overwhelmed me.
“I’m surprised Marcus isn’t here,” I said, wanting to change the subject. “I thought that he’d come with you and the girls.”
“He should be here soon,” she said dismissively. “Work and all that.”
“On Christmas Eve?”
“Darling, this is what you deal with when you date a man of his caliber.”
“But Alex always makes time for me,” I said. “And certainly Marcus is no busier than Alex.”
“Let’s not talk about this,” she said.
“So there is something to talk about,” I said. “I knew it. A few weeks ago, when I was in your office and talking about the holidays, I asked you about Marcus, and you brushed him aside like he was an afterthought. You said that we’d discuss him later, which we never did. So what’s going on between you two? Should I be concerned?”
She took a sip of her martini before she said, “I’m not sure.”
“What does that mean?”
“Do I really need to go there?” she asked. “Do you really expect me to bare my soul to you?”
“I believe I did with you when it came to my parents. That said, you should only ever share with me what you want to share with me.”
“Then, to hell with it,” she said. “For the past year, my relationship with Marcus has been touch and go at best—and by that, I mean less touch than go. And not because of me. I’ve gone out of my way to make myself available to him. What’s holding me back from breaking the whole thing off is that when we do have the chance to see each other, it’s fabulous. It’s as if he’s the one. And then suddenly he’s gone again, traveling around the world and sending me guilty bouquets of flowers. We only talk on the phone only once or twice a week. I’m beginning to feel that none of it is enough.” She tilted her head at me. “What if I were to tell you that we’ve only seen each other eight times in person since we first met?”
“You can’t be serious?”
“I am.”
“But it’s been a year since you first met him.”
“My point exactly.”
“I thought you two were in a relationship.”
“Technically, I suppose we are. At one point, he did ask me to commit to him, which I agreed to because, well, why not? I certainly had no plans to see another man, especially after the train wreck that was Charles. Before I met Marcus, I was looking forward to spending the rest of my life alone with my girls, my friends, and with my extended family. And also with my work, which I love. And then Marcus came along—in Maine of all places—and since I came to like him so much, I figured that love might be worth a second chance.”
“Are you in love with him?” I asked.
“Let’s just say that he claims he’s in love with me.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“But you got your answer, didn’t you?”
“Actually, I didn’t.”
“Look, if I meant the world to him—as he’s said to me time and again in countless conversations, emails, and voicemails—then he’d be here with me now, wouldn’t he? If I meant something to him, then he should have put his goddamned work aside and escorted me here tonight of all nights. I mean, doesn’t he remember that it was a year ago tonight that we sat down at that bar at Sugarloaf and talked for hours? That was the beginning of us, so shouldn’t that mean something to him? I believe it should have. But since this isn’t the first time that I’ve come in second after his work, I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever come first.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Look,” she said, with a roll of her eyes. “Let’s get real. We’re talking first-world problems here. Don’t think that I don’t know that.”
“But don’t discount how you feel in the process,” I said.
“That’s the thing, Jennifer—I know it sounds cold, but I feel nothing more than a touch of disappointment. Earlier this evening, when he called to tell me that he had so much work to do he’d have to meet us here later, I thought about who we were as a couple, and I not only came up empty, but I also came to the conclusion that maybe we shouldn’t be.”
“Shouldn’t be? What does that mean?”
She handed me her drink, which I took while she reached into her clutch and removed her SlimPhone. “It means that I’m breaking this off now,” she said.
“You can’t be serious...”
“I’ve never been so serious.”
“But on Christmas eve?”
“Oh, please—Christmas eve, Christmas Schmeve. Tonight clearly meant zip to him, Jennifer, so why not? And please don’t look upset. I’m strong, I know what I want, I know what works for me—and what doesn’t. Getting him out of my life now will be a blessing. If I continue to allow him to put me in second place, then who am I in this relationship? When did I stop respecting my own needs? Right now, it’s time for Marcus and me to take a final bow. So give me a moment. This won’t take long. I’ll be back and single before you know it.”
Shocked by how quickly our conversation had turned, I watched Blackwell step away and put her SlimPhone to her ear. Since she clearly wasn’t being shy about any of this—she was standing only five feet away from me so I could hear the conversation—I listened to it.
“Marcus?” she said. “Yes, it’s Barbara. I’m fine, fine. In fact, I’m feeling particularly festive tonight. Are you still at work? Yes? Always toiling away, aren’t you? Look, darling, not to ruin your holiday, but I’ve had an epiphany tonight, and I think it’s time that we call it a day. I think it’s time to break off whatever it is that we have between us, but before I end it, I wanted you to know that at the very least, it’s been interesting. And sometimes it was even wonderful.”
She paused.
“Well, of course I’m being serious, silly,” she said. “So, listen—there’s no need or reason for you to come here tonight. If you did, it would only be awkward. Instead, you can just cuddle up with your work. And as we go into the New Year, please know that I wish you the best and that I thank you for the truckloads of apologetic flowers you’ve sent to me over the past year.”
She held up her free hand in exasperation. “Sorry? No, no, no—I’m not being sarcastic at all. In fact, I’m just being sensible. We gave it a shot, but you and I were never meant to be. Surely you know that, so know that I wish you well. I hope that in the future you’ll find someone who doesn’t mind coming in second to your career. Merry Christmas, darling. And have an even happier New Year!”
And with that, Blackwell held out her phone at her side, severed the connection with a mere swipe of her thumb and then she turned to look at me with what could only be described as an expression of relief.
“Over and out,” she said. “Thank God!”
“Jesus,” I said. “You’re the holy roller of breakups...”
“Let’s just say that I’ve never been anything but efficient.”
“Are you OK?”
“I’m fabulous.”
“Are you? Because some of the things you said to him were pretty harsh, no matter how light you managed to keep your tone. If you’re hurting right now, Barbara, no one would blame you.”
“Oh, please, if anything, I’m relieved. That whole ‘faux relationship’ thing had been weighing me down for months. To be honest, I’m ashamed that I didn’t end it sooner, because I’d known for too long that it wasn’t going to work. And frankly, it was about time that I did something about it.” She took her drink from my hand and tossed back the rest of it in one fell swoosh. “I will say this for him, though. At least he took it like a man.”
“Are you going to share the news with your daughters?”
“Later,” she said. “Perhaps after all of us have had a second drink.”
“I can’t have a second drink,” I said. “You know, nursing.”
“How positively politically correct of you.”
“In a few months, I’ll be able to be fun again—I promise.”
“And thank God for that, but at least the others will imbibe with me. Here’s what you should know—while Daniella did like Marcus, Alexa was beginning to disapprove of him for all the reasons I just told you. She’ll be happy to hear the news. As for Daniella, she’ll just be sad for me and filled with romantic dreams of what could have been. All I can say is that thank goodness Alexa is pragmatic. She’s the one who will get it, while poor Daniella will worry about my happiness and wellbeing, as if I need a man to have either. Still, once I explain my reasoning to her, I do think she’ll eventually come around. That one just takes time...”
I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I support your decision,” I said.
“I’m glad that you do.”
“I love you,” I said softly into her ear.
“And I love you,” she said as we parted.
“Barbara...”
“Jennifer, it’s good. It was necessary. And please, allow me to revel in the fact that I’m now out of something that was going nowhere. I mean that. I’m good right now.”
“Marcus is the one who missed out,” I said. “He got lost in his work, and in the process, he lost you.”
“But here’s the thing,” she said. “In the end, I won.”
At that moment, the elevator rang.
“You have company,” she said.
“I guess I do.”
She pointed toward the hallway and then started to look around for a waiter.
“Drink,” she called out. “Drink?”
“I think the waitstaff is in the library,” I said. “Let me get someone for you.”
“No need—I can do it myself. Now go with Alex and see who’s arrived,” she said. “Hopefully, it will be somebody fun.”
