Six Hundred Twenty-Seven Days Missing
The house was done. It seemed to have taken us forever, but also it felt like it took no time at all. I’d built the whole house with Michael and Axel. None of us had any real construction skills, but we watched a ton of YouTube and hired help for important things. It’d been a ton of work—work that I’d made even harder eleven months ago, when I’d had a dream that Tessa was back. It’d been amazing and normal and we’d had a house full of kids.
When I woke up and she still wasn’t there, I cried. I’d thought the dream was real. I’d thought she was back. And that we were happy and healthy and had the biggest family.
But it was just a dream.
She was still gone, and I was lost and alone. Still. Always. Maybe forever.
The only thing that got me out of bed that day was the hope that one day the dream would be real. Which meant I was going to need a bigger house. A much, much bigger house.
Axel and Michael bitched about the added work for a while, but they’d stuck with me through the whole process. We camped together on the land until there was enough house for us to camp inside of it. I didn’t expect them to stay with me every day, all day—especially when the living conditions weren’t great—but they did. They understood that I couldn’t face going back to my cabin. The scent of her was everywhere in there, and I knew that one second inside it would set off a new frenzy to find her. My wolf wouldn’t understand that there was nothing left for me to do but wait.
Someone would find Tessa. Eventually. That’s what Van had said, and he was older than Michael. Much older. He had to be right.
He would be right. Believing that was the only thing keeping me going.
The day we finished the first phase of building, I sent Michael and Axel to my cabin to find Tessa’s inspiration binder. Whenever we weren’t fighting or politicking, she liked to flip through magazines and rip out images that she wanted to replicate in our home. I had Axel photocopy them and make a new binder so that it wouldn’t have her scent, and we used her dreams to design every bedroom, bathroom, every single square foot of the house.
The day we laid the last of the tile in the kitchen, Michael bowed out. There was only decorating left, and he thought I could handle that with Axel. He’d gone back to campus to start figuring out what to do with the school, and Chris and Cosette took his place. They helped me and Axel buy all the furniture.
Having Chris around was nice, but every time I looked at him and his mate, I remembered what I lost.
I didn’t want to be bitter. I was doing better than I had been when Van found me on the mountain. Letting go of the hope that today would be the day someone would find her was the scariest part of being apart from her, but I did it to save my sanity.
I closed myself off from the world—from any news or information—because I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t be trusted to fight without losing the last of my control.
For a while, that made me feel like a coward. Like I was failing her. But I’d done everything—every fucking thing—that anyone could think of.
Van gave me a purpose that day on the mountain. A goal. But now that I reached it, what was left for me to do?
It’d been a year, nine months, one week, three days, a couple handfuls of hours with no sign of Tessa.
We’d officially been apart for longer than we’d been together.
Every time I realized that, there was this empty, gnawing feeling in my stomach. I tried to ignore it. I kept moving. I kept living. I kept building, but now that was done.
Now that was done.
As I paced through the hallways, in and out of rooms, I knew there was nothing else for me to do here. No more walls to paint. No more pictures to hang. No more rooms to decorate. I was going to need a new goal—a new purpose—very soon. I couldn’t be trusted to sit still for long.
My phone’s alarm started beeping, and I pulled it out of my pocket to turn it off.
Shit. It was already afternoon, and I’d done nothing but my usual morning workout. Which meant it was time to eat.
I tried to keep busy throughout the day, but that meant I tended to forget about food, and if I forgot, then Axel usually forgot. So, I’d set alarms throughout the day to remind us.
“I’m making sandwiches,” I yelled down the hall.
There was a thunk, and then Axel appeared. “Want help?”
“Sure.”
Axel had grown his hair out. He wore it in a man bun that I liked to make fun of, but having him around was comforting. At first, he’d stayed because he said he wasn’t fully in control of his wolf, but that wasn’t true anymore. He’d had control for a long time now. Yet he still stayed with me. I wasn’t sure who was taking care of whom now.
We made a quick lunch—a few sandwiches for each of us filled with meat and cheese—and chatted about nothing in particular. There was something soothing about Axel, and I understood why Tessa was so close with her brother. He was more easygoing than Chris, with a great sense of humor. He also liked to work out, which was good. He kept me going when I probably would’ve stayed wolf and faded. And now that I had some distance from everything that happened, I felt guilty for blaming him when Tessa was first taken. I was glad we saved his life.
I just wished it hadn’t cost me Tessa.
We were cleaning up when there was a knock on the door.
I looked at Axel. “You expecting anyone?”
“No.”
No one had called or texted to tell me they were stopping by, but that didn’t mean it was a threat. No one except our friends and Tessa’s parents knew this house existed.
I strode to the door and opened it.
Claudia and Lucas were on my porch? Claudia’s hair was in its usual braid. She was tucked against Lucas’s side as she stared at me, searching—like always—to see if I was okay.
“I’m fine,” I said before she could ask.
She gave me a nod, but I could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe me. And she shouldn’t. It was a lie.
I wasn’t fine, but I was alive. That would have to be good enough for her.
Once I returned, Claudia and Lucas stayed close by for the rest of the first year Tessa was gone. They checked on me a couple times a week, and the rest of the time, Claudia consulted with other witches on how to break fey magic. Every once in awhile, she’d ask to do a spell. Each time I tried not to get my hopes up, and then feel crushed when it didn’t work. I would’ve kept trying whatever she wanted to try, but one day Claudia told me she was leaving. She was tired of the rollercoaster, too. She’d quickly found someone to take care of the compound temporarily and she left and never came back.
Until today.
She looked good. Rested. Right before she left, she looked sick, and now, I know why she left. She’d been making herself sick trying to fix what no one could fix.
“I didn’t know you were back from Peru.” I opened the door wider. “Come in.”
Claudia stepped into the house. “Wow. This is amazing.”
Axel came out of the kitchen. “Hey, prima. You’re back?”
“For now.” Claudia went to hug her cousin. “You look good. The werewolf really puts muscle on you.”
Axel laughed, not able to deny that at all. He’d gained a ton of solid muscle, and he was happier than he had been in a while. He liked being a werewolf.
I let them chat and went back to cleaning up the kitchen. There just wasn’t a lot for me to say or talk about. I was terrible company, especially around happy people.
After a few minutes, I heard Claudia’s sneakers softly squeak along the floor.
I stopped scraping off the dishes and closed my eyes for a second. Claudia was going to ask me how I was doing, and I was going to have to answer her.
“How are you doing?” she asked, as expected.
She sounded worried, and I hated that.
Axel and Lucas were quietly whispering, and I did my best not to overhear. I put the last dish in the dishwasher and closed it, giving myself enough time to school my features.
I grabbed a towel to wipe my hands. “I’m getting by.” I didn’t want to tell her that I was going to start going crazy again. I’d built the house, but now what was I supposed to do?
“The furniture looks good.” Claudia turned back toward the living room. “God. Everything looks like a magazine.”
I looked around. Did it? I just got whatever Chris and Cosette said would look good and that matched the magazine pages that Tessa saved.
I took in the living room. The large u-shaped couch. The pillows and a blanket draped on one end. The painting Chris made of the woods behind St. Ailbe’s. The richly colored Persian carpet and the large leather pouf.
I’d hung Tessa’s print from her dorm room in the kitchen. The bright purple poster with the grinning Cheshire Cat used to make me sad, but now it made me hopeful that Tessa would smile when she came here and saw it.
Claudia was right. It did look nice.
I’d been lost. Building this house—and then filling it—gave me a tangible thing to do when I was incapable of doing anything else.
It’d brought me peace. Every time I hammered in a nail or polished a piece of wood or painted a wall, I thought of Tessa. Of how she would love this. How I was doing it for her. How this wasn’t a waste of my time to build her this home because, at some point, she would come home.
She had to come home.
By the time I finished, she would be here.
But now it’s done, and she still wasn’t here.
“Dastien?” Claudia’s brows were furrowed as she stepped toward me.
I saw that Lucas and Axel were now standing beside her, and I knew I must’ve missed something. “Yes?”
“I asked how you were doing today.”
I threw the dish towel onto the counter. “The house is done,” I said because I wasn’t sure how I was doing anymore. I was getting by. Surviving. But I felt like half of myself was gone. Sometimes I would be angry. Other times I felt like tearing something apart. I spent weeks at a time as a wolf with Michael and Axel.
But I was alive. That was that.
I didn’t want to say any of that aloud. I didn’t want to offend them. They’d been patient and kind and tireless with helping me try to find Tessa before they’d called it quits. So, I changed the subject.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I motioned toward the fridge. “Or to eat. We just had sandwiches, and I could easily—”
“Dastien.” Claudia drew the word out. “I feel like you didn’t know we were coming. Are you ready to go?”
“Go?” I reached inside the fridge, grabbing a sparkling water for Claudia. She hadn’t said she was thirsty, but that’s what she usually liked. I turned to her, holding out the bottle. “You want me to go? To Peru? I was just thinking of traveling. I could maybe stop by there, but I think I’m just going to wander and—”
She didn’t take the bottle. “You’re scaring me. It’s not healthy for you to—”
I slammed it on the counter, and the plastic cracked. Water started fizzing out the side. I tossed it in the sink and grabbed some paper towels.
“It wasn’t healthy for me to get updates.” I wiped up the bit of water that spilled, grateful that the bottle wasn’t glass. “So I’m in the dark. I understand and even agree with that. When I lost it the last time, I understood why it had to be that way. But I guess I’m not fit for company.” I threw the soggy paper towels in the trash, leaned back against the counter, and crossed my arms. “Thank you for the offer. I’ll stop by at some point. So, are you two heading back already? Even though you just got here?”
“Dastien.” She stepped toward me, reaching out a shaking hand but dropping it before she touched me. “We’ve talked on the phone twice this week. We talked about you coming to visit us in Peru. You wouldn’t agree, but that’s why we’re here. To pick you up. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to stay here now that the house is done, especially if you’re losing track of time again. Do you remember talking about that?”
I looked at her to see if she was messing with me, but clearly, she wasn’t.
Merde. I was worse off than I thought. I had zero memory of talking to her.
I looked at Axel. “I talked to her?”
Axel shrugged. “I’ve been out with Michael a few times. You might have.”
Wow. I had no idea I’d… Was I fading again? I didn’t think so, but I also didn’t remember talking to her. Claudia wasn’t lying, so I had to be wrong about this. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to go with you to Peru. Maybe later, but not yet. I—”
“What if you came just for a little while? A few weeks could really make a difference to your—”
I looked at Lucas. “If it were your mate?”
“I’m old. You can’t give an old and powerful wolf someone to love and then take them away. It doesn’t work out well. I wouldn’t have survived this long.” He nodded. “You’re doing better than I would be. If you want to stay, then stay. Just…be careful. If your wolf takes control, I don’t want to have to go hunting.”
Fair enough. “See.” I looked at Claudia. “I’m doing fine.”
“He didn’t say that. You’re not doing fine.” She was starting to lose her temper, but for Claudia, that meant raising her voice by five decibels. “You don’t remember talking to me. You—”
Her phone rang—playing one of Mozart’s concertos—and she threw her small bag on the counter, quickly digging through it.
“Sorry. That’s Samantha. She never calls me, and if I don’t take it, I don’t think she’ll answer my call. She’s impossible to get ahold of.” She grabbed her phone. “Samantha. Is everything okay?”
“I found her.” Samantha’s voice was shaky with excitement. “Holy shit, I found Tessa. She’s in Los Angeles.”
Claudia dropped the phone, but I caught it before it hit the ground. “Samantha. Talk to me.”
My heart was racing. This was it. Van was right. This was what I’d been waiting for.
“Dastien?” Samantha’s voice sounded a little frantic, and she was breathing heavily like she’d been running. “Is that you? Because holy shit, I found her.”
I closed my eyes and thanked God. “Yes. It’s me. Where is she? How is she? What—”
“She’s fine. Or she seems fine. It was the weirdest thing. I literally didn’t see her. I bumped into her. God, I’d been annoyed that this chick shoulder checked me. But when I looked at her, I saw through all the magic around her. I could see her. I swear I could see her. But when I stepped away…it wasn’t her. It wasn’t her. So, I grabbed her, and there she was. I don’t know. Maybe I’m going crazy because I feel kind of crazy right now, but—”
I wanted to drop to my knees and thank God that someone had finally found her. I bowed my head. “You’re not going crazy. Tell me everything.”
“She doesn’t look like herself.” Samantha took a shaky breath as if she was trying to calm herself down. “And she’s covered in so much magic, it’s like she’s invisible. She—”
Changeling. The fey had made her a changeling. Just like we thought. “Did you talk to her?”
“I mean, kind of, but I totally freaked her out. She doesn’t remember me or who I am. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m a weirdo because I flipped. It was unbelievably awkward when I realized and—”
“Don’t let her out of your sight.”
“Goes without saying. We’d never find her again. I’m watching her, but you gotta come. Like right now.”
I was already moving before I could think. “I’m already on my way.” I grabbed my bag from the hall closet. I kept it there—already packed—for exactly this reason. “Thank you for—”
“I didn’t do a damned thing.” She laughed, and it sounded just this side of hysterical. “I—I wouldn’t have even been here, but Eli told me that he was sending a friend to see me. He said I had to be there, and then he disappeared. And I almost didn’t come. Things have been—that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I needed help, and I thought that’s why he sent me here. So, I showed up, and instead of an angel or an archon or someone that can help me, I smack straight into Tessa.”
Keys. I stepped onto my porch, and I realized I didn’t have my keys. Where had I put them? I wasn’t even sure of the last time I drove my car. Shit. “Eli knew.” I was going to kill that archon right after I got my keys and my mate back.
I turned to search for my keys and found Axel, Lucas, and Claudia standing right behind me, staring at me.
I guessed I should’ve explained, but Lucas and Axel’s hearing was good enough to know. And Lucas was probably filling Claudia in through their bond.
I nodded at Axel, and he ran back toward his room, and I had to assume he was grabbing a bag to come with me. Tessa was his sister, so that tracked. Of course he’d want to come.
“I don’t know how long Eli’s known or what, but he set this up,” Samantha said. “Hang on a second. I’m sending you a picture. She’s literally getting a coffee at a Starbuck’s right now. Remember that she doesn’t look like herself, but I swear to God that is her. You have to believe me.”
“I believe you.” A Starbuck’s? “Tessa doesn’t like coffee.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. She ordered something. Wait. She got it fast. It’s not a coffee. She got a tea.”
“Tea.” Claudia said, which confirmed that Lucas was helping her hear Samantha’s side of the conversation. “Did she say tea? Tessa hates tea.” Claudia was right.
“She doesn’t like tea. Are you sure that’s her?” I wanted to believe—I really did—but I didn’t have it in me to be disappointed again.
“I swear on my life it’s her. I promise. You have to come. Like right now—right now.”
Claudia’s cell phone pinged, and I switched the phone to speaker so that I could check the picture Samantha sent.
There was a blonde girl. I couldn’t really make out the face, but she was tall. Rail thin. No curves.
She looked nothing like Tessa. This was the anti-Tessa.
This couldn’t be her. Could it? “It doesn’t look—”
“That is one hundred thousand percent Tessa Laurent. I promise, Dastien. It doesn’t look like her, but I promise.” There was no waver in her voice. No lies. Nothing but determination for me to believe her.
And I did. I believed her.
Claudia snatched the phone from me. “This is why none of the searches came back. We were looking for a five-foot, two-inch, brown-eyed girl.” Claudia flicked her fingers on the screen to zoom in. “This girl looks really tall. How tall is she?”
“She towered over me, but that’s not saying much. I’m as tall as Tessa usually is.”
I wasn’t about to argue with Samantha. She said this was Tessa, then that had to be Tessa. I believed her. No matter what she looked like right now, that was my mate. “I’m on my way.”
“Don’t come alone,” Samantha said the words quickly, like she was worried that I’d hang up before she could finish. “She didn’t know who I was, and you can’t freak. If you do, I can’t hold your wolf. Dude. I don’t want to get bitten.”
I almost laughed. She’d teased me about that forever ago. “I would never bite you. Promise.”
“You don’t know—” Lucas started to argue that point, but he was wrong.
“Just bring someone,” Samantha said. “This might take some time to figure out. That fey magic is legit thick. No wonder it tried to kill me last time I messed with it.”
“We won’t make that same mistake again. We’ll figure out something else. But she’s alive, and I know where she is. That’s more than I’ve had…” I swallowed down the hope and fear and excitement that was nearly too much to handle. “That’s more than I’ve had in a long time.”
Axel ran down the hall with a bag in his hand.
“I’ll let you know when I’m landing,” I said to Samantha. “Don’t let her out of your sight.”
“I won’t. Promise.” Samantha was quiet for a second. “Dastien?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re getting her back. This is it.”
I closed my eyes. “Thank you.” My voice broke, and I wasn’t sure what else to say or do.
Claudia hung up, and I opened my eyes.
Tessa was in Los Angeles, and I wasn’t there. I had to go. I needed to be on a plane five minutes ago. I needed—
“We’re going with you.” Claudia looked at her mate, who was on his phone, typing quickly.
“I’ve got the plane ready,” Lucas said without looking up. “Let’s go. I’ll drive us to the airport. Michael said he’ll meet us there.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him. Not today.
This was it. We’d found Tessa. I wasn’t sure why Eli had helped us now, and later I’d deal with why he hadn’t done it sooner.
Tessa was alive, and I knew where she was.
Whatever fey magic held her, I would find a way to break it. And I wasn’t going to let her out of my sight until I did.