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I told myself I would remain celibate until I met the right man. And not just any man, but a gentleman. I had grown tired of merry-go-round relationships. The many broken promises, control, deceit, the nonsense. When I loved, I loved hard only for my kindness to be taken for granted. So, I made a vow to fall in love with me. To nurture me, love me, spend quality time with me, to cherish me.
Several years had passed since being romantically involved in a relationship. Lord knows the journey was rough. The lonely and cold nights when I turned over in the bed and there was no one there to spoon me. But it was my choice. My burden to bear.
My friends Jazz and Coco swore I inherited the holier than thou syndrome. I suppose it's because I had set standards for myself. Perhaps picky in my choice of men because I refused to be easy prey. But I was far from being holier than thou. I was by no means perfect. If they only knew, the temptation was real. The internal struggles. The cravings. The desires...Burning! My mind...a battlefield that constantly waged war against itself. Yet, I was determined to stand by my vow. The next man that tries to get close to these cookies better put a ring on it. No ring, no cookies.
***
IN MY MIND, I WAS CONFIDENT that I had the willpower to resist temptation. But when I was approached by a tall, dark chocolate, sexy teddy bear of a man named Tye at Coco’s birthday bash, temptation knocked on my door.
“Hello young lady,” he smiled. “I am Tye. And your name is?”
Taken aback by his charisma and Barry White voice, I stumbled over my words. “I...I am Winter.”
“Ahhh...so you’re the one I overheard Jazz and Coco talking about.”
“Meaning,” I said.
“The wallflower of the party,” he chuckled. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”
“Wallflower,” I said as I turned towards the open bar and spotted them looking in our direction. I gave them the eye then looked back at him. “It is a pleasure to meet you as well”.
“It’s a bit noisy in here. Do you mind if we talk outside near the terrace away from the crowd?” he asked.
“No, I don’t mind. In fact, I could use some fresh air.”
***
IT WAS THAT NIGHT THAT sparked the beginning of something amazing. The more time we spent together, the closer our bond. He was feeling me, and I certainly was feeling him. We soon realized we shared a lot of similarities as well as desires. Burning desires I vowed to keep under control. A vow he was aware of and highly respected.
For months, I observed him waiting for him to slip up. But he didn’t. He never ceased to amaze me. A tried and true romantic, he cooked a lavish steak and lobster dinner one evening for the two of us. Not at his home, but at my home. A bottle of Dom Perignon and candlelight graced the dining room table. Normally, I am the one that fed him the first spoonful. But this time, it was him that spoon fed me first. He proceeded to turn on soft music. The song Secret Garden by Quincy Jones echoed through the room. As the song played, he eased over to me, grabbed me by the hand and led me to the middle of the living room floor. He began to sing the lyrics to the song in my ear as we slow danced. Lord Jesus, keep me near the cross, I thought to myself.
Strokes of his breath brushed against my skin. From my neck to my ear. His scent...mesmerizing! The more he sang, the more I felt myself losing control of my thoughts.
When Barry White chimed in, Tye sang these lyrics in my ear. “I’ll take good care of you. That’s what a man is supposed to do. And I’ll be there for you all the time.” As the song continued, he sang “You know I’ve never wanted anyone...I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I...as much as I want you. I want you to show me. I want you to tell me how you feel.... All the secrets”.
Then he whispered in my ear and said, “but I know what I must do. If you would have me, allow me to put a ring on it.”
I was speechless. Did he just say what I think he said, I thought to myself. Suddenly, hot flashes consumed me like a volcano about to erupt. The temptation...Rising!