“Whoa. How did you stop yourself from melting right into his arms?”
Robin was mid-throw as she tossed a new set of clothes into her overnight bag when she paused to stare into the FaceTime camera, stunned by my recount of the night before. Technically, she and I were on a five-person video chat to talk about Jennifer’s upcoming bachelorette weekend in Palm Springs, but when each of the women had noticed and pointed out a particular glow on my face fifteen minutes in, the conversation had suddenly become about the night before.
Try as I might, I hadn’t been able to convince Reagan, Robin, Jenn or Rebecca that they were seeing things, probably because my stupid cheeks wouldn’t fall down. So, after much consternation, I broke down and told them everything—word for word, from the lingering looks and laughs to the inevitable kiss that had literally taken my breath away. Well, not everything—one thing I didn’t include in my story, and never would, was how I’d been playing H.E.R. and Daniel Caesar’s “Best Part” on repeat since I’d fallen onto my bed last night.
“Honestly, I literally don’t know,” I replied.
“Well, I’d like to just throw out there that I told you there was no such thing as a damn non-date,” Reagan chimed in.
“Oy! Guess who doesn’t need I-told-you-sos right now?” I asked her.
“You’re right. My bad.”
Jennifer, who had always been the more sensitive one out of their friend group, giggled off to the side as she kindly let the news of my non-date that actually was a date take over her scheduled call. I was grateful she didn’t consider it rude, but in truth, I probably didn’t have that to worry about. Ever since I’d announced I was moving to the States for a year, all of Robin’s friends had taken me under their wing in different ways. Jenn immediately started sending me inspirational messages every morning, almost as if she was my own personal Rev Run—this despite the fact that I was moving to New York and she lived in the District. And while that might’ve sounded funny on its surface, somehow each time she’d sent one, it had been at the very moment I’d needed a reminder that what I was doing wasn’t crazy and I had it in me to succeed. I thought it was some kind of intuition she must have possessed and then perfected as a dean of students at an elementary school. As our friendship had quickly bloomed, she’d also graciously invited me to her bachelorette weekend, knowing, of course, that I was going to be in America anyway and it might be fun for me to come out and have a girls’ weekend in Palm Springs. That was the kind of person Jenn was—never selfish and always down to support her friends no matter what.
“Have you heard from him since then?” she asked.
“Yeah, he let me know when he got home.”
“Okay, that’s good,” Robin interjected.
“And I woke up this morning to my normal set of Sunday morning texts from him.”
“Wait, you all have texts that are typical for the days of the week?” Rebecca asked.
“Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds cheesy. But on Sundays, he usually gets up pretty early and reads different newspapers online, so by the time I wake up, he’s already sent me a bunch of links to stories that he wants my opinion on. That’s all.”
“Wow,” they all replied in unison.
“He’s a keeper,” Jenn added. “And you know, engaged lady over here should know.”
She flashed her ring into the camera with a big grin in a cute attempt to win me over, but I was still too out of it from all that had transpired in the past twenty-four hours to join them in their pure glee. Yes, this super charming, incredibly handsome man had just told me that he thought about us being together, but I didn’t get the sense that any of them understood just how much that had blown up everything I’d considered safe about him.
“Well, he’s not mine to keep just yet,” I replied.
“Oh my gosh. Reagan, why aren’t you two in the same location right now so we could ask you to either hand her a drink or shake her silly?” Rebecca asked. “Because clearly she needs something to remind her that all of this is a good thing. Do you hear that, Liv, a good thing?”
“Honestly, I was wondering the same thing myself just now,” Reagan replied. “I should have taken the trip downtown.”
I chuckled at Rebecca and Rae’s interaction, mostly because Becs was almost eight months pregnant, so all her solutions had become alcohol based lately. Needed to decompress? Have a glass of wine. Just came back from a run? Quench your thirst with some bourbon. Had your new best friend admit that he found you irresistible? Wash that realization down with a nice cocktail! It was almost as if she needed us all to be perpetually tipsy for her since she still had another few more months before she could partake in any spirits on her own.
Also, I’d learned a lot about her since their first trip to London in April. Rebecca and I had initially bonded over the four (me) and five (her) years we had on the other ladies, plus the fact that we were the two who hadn’t gone to college with them, but our shared love of all things Housewives with no judgment whatsoever truly made our friendship something I’d come to cherish. Her no-nonsense takes on those shows lined right up with her input today.
“I have a martini right beside me,” I said, still laughing. “That doesn’t make up for the fact that this has changed everything.”
“Okay, okay, we hear you,” Robin chimed in.
“But what are you so scared of, cher?” Reagan asked.
“Right, because I’ve never seen you look this happy about anyone. Not even when you told me about David that night that we went out for our first drinks. And definitely not during the times when we were all hanging out together.”
“And that’s what makes this so scary, Rob,” I said, clutching my almost-empty martini glass out of sight of the camera.
Maybe Becs has the right idea after all. I might need more drinks to truly keep having this conversation.
“I was with David for two years and never felt like this about him. But that was okay because I knew if we ever broke up, it wouldn’t hurt as much. And I was right. For whatever break or breakup David and I are on right now, I’ve been relatively okay about it. With Thomas, it’s only been a few months and yet I’m scared that if I let myself like him as much as I could, I’m just setting myself up for failure.”
I blinked my eyes a few times to stop the tears trying to fall out of them and took the last gulp of my drink before I carried on.
“You’re all in relationships now, so maybe you can’t relate, but my track record with men hasn’t been that great. The few times when I’ve actually liked them and dared to open up and let them get a taste of the real Olivia Robinson—not just the perfect image of a girlfriend that I know how to play when I want to—they’ve run away so fast they could have battled Usain Bolt. Even David...he stuck around for a while, sure, but he found a way to let me know I was a lot of everything he didn’t want in a partner. I don’t know if I have it in me to go through that again, especially not with Thomas. It just...it would be too hard of a thing to come back from. Besides the fact that even if none of that were true, I’m leaving in less than a year. How many international romances do you all know that have worked out?”
Robin zipped up her overnight bag and plopped down onto the lavender tufted trunk in front of her bed just as I got up to walk to my kitchen so I could make myself another martini.
“Can I jump in since my relationship is less than a year in?” she asked, and briefly paused until she received my silent head nod to continue.
I’d just put my glass on the counter and grabbed the jar of olives out of the fridge when I heard the break after her question and realized it wasn’t exactly rhetorical. She didn’t need much beyond the head nod, however, because she quickly jumped right back in as I began pouring the gin into my jigger to measure out the right amount for my mixture.
“You know I get how scary it is to open yourself up to someone when you’ve experienced nothing but disappointment in your past. But Thomas is a new person, first of all, so I encourage you to do what you asked of me when Craig and I first started dating—give him a chance without putting all the pain from others onto him. You’ve already acknowledged how different it’s been with him, where the two of you have gotten a chance to really learn each other before jumping into anything super fast. Annnd he’s not rushing you! I’m still amazed that you both stopped yourselves last night. Craig and I were on each other like white on rice the night of our first date!”
“Rob, eww, that’s her brother. C’mon!” Jenn screamed out, interrupting Robin’s giggles down memory lane.
“Sorry! I’m just saying...the fact that he was the one to say no last night because he could tell you still had your reservations tells me how much he cares about you. And maybe, just maybe, the man likes you precisely for all the reasons those other guys haven’t. It’s kind of hard to keep everything that makes you special under wraps as much as you all have been communicating nonstop.”
“Now, Rob is right about that,” Jenn added. “I know we’re all thankful we’ve gotten to know you as more than just Robin’s friend. Maybe give the guy some credit that he knows what he’s getting into and he likes it?”
“Oy, I’m great with friends,” I said, sitting back down in my drawing room, my new martini in hand. “That’s where I shine. And what I thought he and I were.”
Reagan pursed her lips and eyed me suspiciously through the camera. “Did you, though? Because from the moment you told me and Jake about him, you couldn’t stop grinning. I don’t look like that about any of my friends.”
“Rude!” Rebecca jumped in. “You better glow when talking about us.”
“Well, y’all are different. You know what I mean, and she does, too!”
“Okay, so friends who find each other attractive,” I admitted.
“Mmm-hmm. That ain’t friends, cher. That’s denial with a splash of fear. And if Chrissy were on this call, she’d tell you, mana, we don’t do vidas cautelosas around here.”
“Yeah, she would!” Robin shouted out, punctuating her statement with a loud clap.
“And then she’d use that booming, raspy voice of hers and force Reagan to get down to the East Village ASAP and bring some tequila and nachos with her,” added Jennifer.
“No lie,” Reagan admitted. “That is definitely what she would have suggested.”
We all laughed in unison, and I watched them as they remembered their friend fondly. I had no idea what it was like to mourn a close friend and wasn’t looking forward to learning it anytime soon. But I was amazed at how they kept her alive in their conversation and their interactions regularly. Indeed, while I’d been spending more one-on-one time with each of the ladies lately, any time we were collectively together, Chrissy’s name inevitably came up—and always in a good way. It was as if their union wasn’t complete without her. This reminded me that I owed Nneka and Tracy some returned calls, too. I might do that later when I order some food for the evening, I thought.
“Okay,” I said, throwing up my hands. “I will certainly take all your points into consideration. Now, I don’t want to take up much more of this call for my drama. Can we get back to talking about Palm Springs? We’ve only got a week before we all see each other, and I’ve never been to California, so I need to know what to plan for ahead of time.”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Reagan said, chiming in. “Think casual chic. Pack light. Basically bring bathing suits and club attire—wait, do you have that with you, or do we need to go shopping?”
“Lord, Rae—you’re always looking for a reason to go shopping.” Jenn laughed.
“What? I’m just offering my services if they are needed.”
“I actually could use a small shopping trip,” I said meekly. “I brought one swimsuit with me from London, but it sounds like I need more.”
“See?”
Reagan stuck her tongue out at Jenn, who rolled her eyes off to the side in response.
“Reagan never misses a shopping trip, but she is right about packing light,” Robin added. “We’re having all the bachelorette decorations and other little treats shipped there, so no one has to worry about that. And you know, we already purchased the tables for when we go out on the town. So there’s not much else to prepare for, really.”
“Well, it’s California, so prepare yourself for the cultural difference,” Becs chimed in. “Palm Springs is nothing like the UK. But other than that, you should be good.”
“Okay, all very good to know! I’m actually really excited for this trip,” I said, turning my attention back to Jenn. “I can’t thank you enough for inviting me.”
“Please,” she replied. “I couldn’t have you in America and not be there with us. What kind of monster would that make me? Plus, I already know we’re going to have such a good time, and you being there with us is just going to be the icing on the cake. It also sounds like we’ll need some real face time, and not the virtual kind, to make sure you’re not messing things up with our new best friend Thomas.”
“Wait, how did we get back onto him?” I asked.
“Get used to it, cher,” Reagan interjected, laughing. “This is how things go in this friend group. Once they know fear is the only thing stopping you from going after what you want, they will wear you down until you give in. Ask me how I know.”
“And you’re living the life with your man and your fancy job that was made just for you, so no complaining, missy,” Robin replied.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m just saying. They are relentless.”
“I think you should be using the word ‘we’ here,” I said, amused at how they’d all effectively flipped the conversation back to Thomas despite my best efforts to re-center Jenn and her trip. And of all people, it had started with the bachelorette herself!
“Who, me? You think I’m relentless?”
“You made a plan to get us together after only hearing about our first interaction in the airport,” I replied.
“Oh, well that’s just being a good friend, no?”
I stared back at her with a girl, now you know what that means look on my face, and she giggled in return.
“Well, whatever, I guess I stand with my girls, then. We...firmly believe in ‘what’s the best that could happen,’ and we...make no apologies about that.”
“Say it!” Robin chimed in.
“Are you going to see him again before Palm Springs?” Jenn asked.
“I think so. This morning when we were texting, we started talking about meeting up after work one day this week.”
“Wow, way to bury the lede!” Reagan screamed out.
“It’s not in stone,” I protested. “It’s just an idea we floated.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Well, I, for one, am very excited about our next round of story time,” said Rebecca. “Let’s make sure we have time in the schedule in Palm Springs for that, please.”
“Done and done,” Robin replied.
I drank another sip of my martini, shaking my head at the women who I’d come to all call “friend.” Robin had warned me just how much this group was always at the ready to cheer their people on. That had been a warm welcome when I’d needed the boost of confidence to say yes to my year in New York. But now that it was about something that didn’t have to do with work or my career, I had to admit, I was a lot more uncomfortable with it. Still, I could appreciate a friend group filled with lots of strong opinions and love, and it seemed like I was stuck with them in the same way Thomas kept saying I was stuck with him.
“All right, ladies, before we sign off, can we make a toast to the fiancée of the group and this banging-ass trip we’ve got planned for her?” Robin chimed in, interrupting me out of my thoughts.
“Yes, yes. A perfect idea,” Rebecca replied as she lifted her cranberry-spritzer mocktail into the camera.
One by one, each of us did the same, until all you could see in the chat were glasses filled with different colored drinks and some faces melting into the background.
“To an amazing upcoming weekend in Palm Springs,” Robin began. “We’re all so so happy for you and Nick, Jenny. And while we can’t wait to stand up with you to celebrate your love on your wedding day, this weekend is our chance to cheer on the incredible woman Nick is soon going to get the privilege of calling his wife.”
“And let me tell you, he’s got a baaaaad mama jama on his hands, okay!” added Reagan.
“She’s right,” Robin continued. “So, here’s to a real one. To the heartbeat of our friend group and the woman who taught us all how to bloom where we’re planted. Palm Springs is going to be so litty!”