60

a little more time

Beverly is already in his bed when Axel enters the bedroom. He’s only got two hours of sleep the night before and now feels a little dizzy with fatigue.

“How long does it take for Evert to drive here?” she asks in a small, clear voice.

“It would take about six hours to get here,” he replies succinctly.

She gets up and starts to the door.

“What are you doing?” Axel asks.

She turns around.

“I thought maybe he’s sitting in the car waiting for me.”

“You know that he doesn’t drive to Stockholm,” Axel says.

“I just want to look out the window and make sure.”

“We can give him a call—should we call him?”

“I’ve already tried,” she says.

Axel reaches out and brushes her cheek with his hand and she sits back down on the edge of the bed.

“Are you tired?” she asks.

“So tired I’m feeling sick,” he replies.

“Do you want me to sleep in your bed tonight?”

“Yes, that would be nice.”

“I believe that Pappa would like to talk to me tomorrow,” she says softly.

Axel nods. “I’m sure it’ll go well tomorrow.”

Her large shining eyes make her look younger than ever.

“Come and lie down,” she says. “Lie down so you can sleep, Axel.”

He blinks tiredly at her and then watches her lie down on her side of the bed. Her nightgown smells like freshly washed, pure cotton. As he lies down beside her, he wants to cry. He wants to tell her that he’ll arrange psychiatric help for her. He’ll help her out of this mess. Everything will get better. Everything always gets better.

He slowly clasps one of her upper arms and lays his other arm over her stomach. He hears her squeak as he pulls her closer to him. He presses his face into her neck, breathes moistly against her skin, and holds her tight. After a while, he hears her breathing soften. They lie completely still as their body warmth together brings sweat to their skin, but he does not let go of her.

The next morning Axel is up early. He’s slept for only four hours and his muscles ache. He stands awhile at the window looking out over the dark outlines of the lilac hedge.

When he comes into his new office, he’s still feeling frozen and tired. Yesterday he’d been one second away from signing his name to a dead man’s contract. He would have put his personal honour into the hands of a man who’d hanged himself—trusted the judgment of a suicide and not his own.

He’s glad he decided to wait, but regrets drawing the cartoon on the contract.

He knows he’s obligated to approve the export of ammunition to Kenya in the next few days. He opens the report folder and begins to learn about Sweden’s trade there.

One hour later, the door to Axel Riessen’s office opens and Jörgen Grünlicht comes in. Without a word, he pulls a chair up to the desk and sits down. He opens the folder, takes out the contract, flips to the page where Axel’s signature was supposed to be, and then meets Axel’s eyes.

“Hi,” Axel says quietly.

Jörgen Grünlicht can’t help smiling. The cartoon face with spiky hair does resemble Axel Riessen and in the dialogue bubble from the figure’s mouth the word “Hi!” had been written.

“Hello,” Jörgen says.

“It was just too soon,” Axel explains.

“I understand. I didn’t want to pressure you, even if we’re in a bit of a hurry,” Jörgen says. “The trade minister was on my case again and Silencia Defense is ringing the phone off the hook. Still, I get you, you know. This responsibility is totally new to you and you … want to be especially thorough.”

“That’s right.”

“And that’s a good thing,” he continues. “But you can send the agreement to the government instead if you’re unsure about it.”

“I’m not unsure,” Axel replies. “I’m just not finished. That’s all there is to it.”

“It’s just … from their perspective, things are going unreasonably slowly.”

“I’m putting everything else aside for the moment and so far I can say that everything looks good,” Axel replies. “I’m not telling Silencia Defense to wait before loading the freighter, but I’m just not finished yet.”

“I’ll let all parties involved know you are positive.”

“Go ahead. I mean, if I don’t find anything unusual, it’s just—”

“You won’t. I’ve done all the research myself.”

“Well, then,” Axel says softly.

“I won’t disturb you anymore,” Jörgen says. He gets up from the chair. “Any hint when you think you’ll be ready?”

Axel glances down at the paperwork.

“Count on at least a few days. Maybe I’ll have to look a little more into Kenya first.”

“Of course.” Jörgen Grünlicht smiles as he leaves the room.