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I was transported to my room the same way as I was to the dining room, I didn’t even know how, but Brigitte mentioned that we would be taught about levitation during classes. The transportation was, of course, after I’d said goodbye to Philip. The girls were watching us strangely for some reason, and some of them looked like they were crying again. After all, I just told him that he was really nice and I was excited that we were friends, even if I didn’t wake up in the morning, he would still be the best thing that ever happened to me. And Philip hugged me and told me that I would definitely wake up. For some reason, this gave me hope. That I would wake up... And the fear went away. Philip wasn’t annoyed that I was saying goodbye like that, though I could see how nervous he was. I mean, if... if I didn’t even say goodbye, it wouldn’t be decent, would it?
When Renate entered, she weirdly looked at me and informed me that if I was sick, I had to wake her up right away. I was amazed – last time she didn’t say that, and now all of a sudden. Is it probably because Philip fed me in the dining room?
“Your Philip spent half an hour explaining to me how damaging it could be for you, so I’d rather not sleep than be afraid,” the girl told me, sighing as she did so. And that “your” made me feel warm at heart. My Philip...
“You mustn’t be afraid,” I answered after all. “I know since childhood that every day could be the last, so don’t be afraid, it’s not scary, but it’s very cold.”
“Don’t you dare die here,” she said and put her arms around me. “We need you alive.”
“I’ll try,” I promised, trying not to burst into tears from such solicitude. For some reason I was getting whiny, it wasn’t like that at home. And that was even though I seemed to have real friends.
Afterwards, I was lying in bed and couldn't make up my mind. Philip considered that – he was concerned that I might get sick at night, and boys were not allowed in the girls’ rooms... Well, some kind of witchcraft was involved, as Brigitte explained, to keep girls and boys sleeping separately and to prevent early reproduction, after all, it was a boarding school. Philip is so cute, I’d probably... No point in thinking about it now, I had to prepare for bed.
I wrote my dad a daily report and even told him that I had to be carried. It’s dad, I don’t keep anything from him... Yes, I wrote about Philip, too. And even about that book Philip was studying, for me... me... Oh, I feel like crying. It’s so exceptional – this attention, this affection from him, it seems like we’re really more than friends. Had something happened to me about what the books were saying that I wasn’t allowed to read because I would be crying?
I was falling asleep with the thoughts of Philip, giving me a good night’s sleep, a kind of peace... Unbelievable. A dream was coming on, a dream in which we were strolling through some park, holding hands...
But it was hard to wake up. I felt like a stone was pressing on my chest, unable to inhale. I was struggling to breathe, trying, my ears were buzzing, my eyes couldn’t open, and I was so scared, just can’t tell you how scared I was. A lot of shivers ran down my arms and legs, a lot of them like they were chasing me in droves, but I couldn’t even call out for someone because I couldn’t breathe. Everything seemed to get even darker, and suddenly, as I realized that I was dying, the light turned bright. Philip was right there, helping me to breathe, pressing on my chest and doing artificial respiration, the sort of thing I’d seen in an educational film. It was a little awkward, but he was really helping me get my breath in, while I was pulling at him and at the air, and it seemed, like, with my whole being.
While Philip was assisting me, I was breathing, leaning towards him, even though I knew I must be dying. Because it was freezing, and my ears were buzzing... But the boy refused to stop, and the chill slowly began to withdraw, and the clawed paw that was gripping something in my chest also released me. So, it turns out he saved me, took me away from death, just like dad...
All around there were more people, and Herr Neumann showed up. He smiled at me and waved his hand, which made me breathe easier.
“Philip, please don’t go away,” I begged when I thought that he was going to disappear.
I was afraid of losing Philip for some reason, so he and I were taken somewhere else in another room, where no one was around, and laid on the beds next to each other. He was stroking me, even though he was drowsy, I saw. But he was stroking me and urging me not to be afraid. And thereafter I seemed to fall asleep.
Herr Neumann somehow became aware that I was fearful without Philip and helped me not to be afraid. How come I’m not scared of this boy, why? I don’t understand it, I just don’t understand it at all...
***
“GERHARD, THIS WON'T work out, we’ll get a corpse,” Uwe Köhler stated as he came into the chancellor’s office in the early morning to peacefully enjoy his coffee chancellor.
“What happened?” Herr Richter fussed.
“The girl almost passed away in the night,” replied the first-grade supervisor. “The boy, Krone, saved her. Her neighbor created a panic when she heard the girl groaning and the tutors sent the boy by means of levitation.”
“Together?” Gerhard Richter smiled. “Yes, I remember... What do you propose?”
“Well, we can’t let her go home, the Treaty, and it would kill her... So...” Uwe hesitated, “we have to settle them together.”
“A boy and a girl, Uwe,” the chancellor reminded him.
“Well, there is one option...” Herr Köhler murmured thoughtfully.
“Do you want to offer Krone an engagement?” asked Gerhard, understandingly.
“I don't see another option, Gerhard,” sighed the Transfiguration Master. “The Treaty will kill her at home if she doesn’t conjure for over two months, you know that.”
“I know, my friend,” the chancellor sighed. “You are right, we have no other choice. Every child is worth its weight in gold. All right, I’m not against it and I give my blessing, but only if the boy agrees. His parents were gold and he himself ... But he must understand what it means to him!” Herr Richter remarked with unexpected earnestness.
***
SURPRISINGLY IT WAS so easy to wake up, my breathing was calm, and Philip was beside me. I felt it as soon as I woke up because I felt the warmth. It turned out that he had put his hand on mine, and when I woke up, he immediately opened his eyes. I seemed to get lost in them, I couldn’t stop staring, and he was looking at me like... like a dad looks at my mum. Philip, who had saved me, who hadn’t let me die... After that night he became very dear to me, almost family. I seemed to trust him completely.
A severe weakness filled my body, so I continued lying down, while Philip got up quickly and wondered. It was apparent that he was very thoughtful. Then he glanced at me, considered something for a second, sighed, and took me in his arms with some effort. It was hard for him; I could feel it – his hands were trembling a little – but he carried me to the toilet and put me on the toilet.
“Can you handle it?” Philip asked me, making me blush and nod. “Call me, okay?”
How could he be like that? I’m about to fall under the ground with such shame. But he’s so placid like there’s no big deal going on. It was embarrassing... I took my pajama trousers down with some difficulty and overcame the morning’s challenges. Putting them back on was another problem, not so easy to solve. My legs just didn’t want to strain, as if they were paralyzed. I tackled it and thought for a while – to call or not to call? I attempted to stand up on my own and fell over. Philip rushed in, looked at me disapprovingly, picked me up again, and carried me back to bed. It’s very tough for him, I can see that, but he’s smiling. He’s really special. Some kind of very miraculous...
“Disobey me one more time, and you’ll get your ass slapped,” he warned me, still smiling. He tried to sound strict, but he didn’t succeed.
“You can’t slap me, I'm a girl,” I informed him because nobody’s supposed to get slapped, but slapping girls isn’t in any way good, and I’m a girl.
“It’s dangerous for you to get worked up right now. Do you know how scared I was last night?” he explained, stroking me very gently in a way that made me want to close my eyes.
“Speaking of which, how did you manage to get into our bedroom, since boys aren’t allowed?” I asked him, and he laughed.
“I was having some trouble falling asleep, being worried about one naughty girl,” he said softly. “And then, in the middle of the night, the tutors rushed into the bedroom, can you imagine? Both of them and before I could make any grunt, I was a meter above the floor. That’s how I ended up there.”
I smiled – it was really funny, though he hardly seemed amused at the time. Ouch... He was worried about me, and he was saving me, and I was being naughty. I felt so ashamed again. So ashamed that I almost cried because of it.
“You can spank me if you want,” I said quietly because I guess I deserved it. I’ve never been slapped, but if he thinks it’s right, then so be it, huh? “Only turn me over yourself, because I can’t do that.”
“My silly girl,” the boy stroked me, then snuggled up to me. “I’m not going to spank you, you’re good.”
“Am I yours?” For some reason it felt vital to hear his answer; something inside me cared a great deal about it. More vital than the fact that he’d called me good.
“Of course, you are,” he hugged me tighter, but with a kind of gentleness that made me feel like a crystal vase. “I won’t give you to anyone else.”
“Then you’re mine,” I told him. “My angel...”
I couldn’t comprehend myself. I didn’t understand why it was so meaningful to hear his answer and why I called him mine. Something bizarre was happening to me. Could it be love? Well, like in the book about the princess. I don’t know, I don’t have anyone to turn to for advice, my dad’s not here. But Philip, he’s so... I just get warmed by his affection, though he's an orphan, his parents died when he was very young, how does he know how to behave like that? He’s able to make me want to obey him with one gesture, one word because it’s him...
We were both sitting there, pondering, when Herr Köhler came into the room, after knocking. I remembered him, though I’m not very good at memorizing faces. The text is fine, but the faces, not so much. The teacher came in, waved his hands, and a table appeared in front of us, and then a little magical creature in a coat and hat brought tea and cakes, which made my mouth water. I’ll have to find out more about these creatures because all I know is that they are called Heintzels.
“So, kids,” Professor Köhler told us. “Tonight, Helen, you were sick.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered because I felt ashamed again.
“It’s not your fault,” he responded to me. “But the problem is that it could happen any night, and boys aren’t allowed into girls’ bedrooms through sorcery. Waking up half of the school every time is entertaining, of course, but it’s very dangerous for you. So, the option I see is for you to spend the night with Philip, if you and Philip consent, of course.”
“I agree,” I told him, and Philip just nodded. Well, it was obvious that after the night I’d had, I would be scary to be without him, but why my angel nodded, I didn’t know. Maybe I mean something to him, too.
“The sorcery of the school is against such an overnight stay,” continued our teacher, “so there is only one solution.”
“Expel me?” I was in tears, and Philip immediately hugged me and calmed me down. It was odd, just two days ago I would have been happy about that option, but today it was the worst thing I could think of. I don’t want to break up with my angel! I don’t want to! I don’t want to!
“No one will expel you,” said Herr Köhler strongly. “I suggest you make an engagement. It is a witchcraft ritual, which simply gives you some rights. It does not oblige you to marry, but it does allow you to live together. Philip, what would you say?”
“I’m all up for it,” my angel smiled, still holding me in his arms. “As long as Helen doesn’t mind. Are you sure there are no other options?”
“Absolutely not,” Köhler said, looking at us scrutinizingly.
“I agree,” I whispered, and I felt like blushing. It was so embarrassing, because – as in the book about the princess, there was also an engagement. Really...?
Even if the professor wasn't entirely honest with us, we wouldn’t know it, and I... probably only need Philip, because he took me from death itself and was ready to be with me, even though I... Well... I have one foot in the cold, and he is ready, though he knows it, it’s certainly written in the book. It cannot not be written, because it’s true. And he... my angel...